From a child until now, when it gets hot, the ways in which I respond to the one crushing me are counted on my fingers. I have trained 2 martial arts long enough to learn at least basic defense. Since the last such incident, I got hot, I didn't do something in time and they told me the game, it's my fault. I stopped being optimistic about it because I'm a hopeless case, a dumb, pathetic herbivore. And no, I'm not happy about being "meek, kind, calm." When I grew up, I thought I was no longer such a spit, but alas. I no longer know how much time I have already taken to make myself human, not invertebrate. Every time I cross my eyes with someone on the street, my adrenaline rises, I start to think the worst. Honestly, I already envy all the braziers, all those jerks with high self-esteem, I want so much either to be one of them, or at least like them. They go out calmly, they don't care, and I can't even look them in the eyes, because all sorts of nasty thoughts and pictures are in my head. I don't know how to do it, I just don't know, I want to shut myself in and not go out, it's unbearable. And let the moderators be so good to just publish this, instead of the idiots of various idiots looking for fun.
1 allisonparker002 answered
Read about Asberger's syndrome. You may have, but you wonder what's going on at all, why you can't fight it. Like your condition, it can become disabling. There are similar topics and comments in Share. One boy had written that he had almost 40% TEMP. Fight, don't give up. Hear the opinion of a specialist. There are behavioral therapies and medications.