I'm 18 And He's 27. Should I Stay With Him Or Find Someone Else?

The Story

Hello! I will tell you a little about myself to get an idea. I am an 18-year-old girl for 12th grade. I have been preparing for the entrance exams in medicine for several months now. For me, learning comes first and for as long as I can remember I have ignored many things because of it. For my appearance - I am 165 cm tall, I weigh 63 kg. I look a bit like a mulatto because of my full lips, golden complexion and Brazilian ass. Now my story: When I was 16, I met a 24-year-old boy on the Internet. from the other end of Bulgaria. We were very similar in character, we had many common interests and the same views on life. We discussed various topics - music, games and much more. It has become an indispensable part of the day for us to write and talk for hours. He thought I was cute and liked me, but I was adamantly against having something because the age difference was big. A few months passed and imperceptibly we just started to perceive ourselves as boyfriends. I didn't notice the age difference anymore, I forgot it and fell in love. And so I had my first boyfriend. In fact, I'm his first - strange as it may sound. He left for England for a year, during which time we kept in touch via Skype. When he returned to Bulgaria, he came to see me for the first time not long after. Because I am staying in the city where I study, I live alone. When he came for three days, it was wonderful. I flew from happiness and love. But when I left, I kept crying. Ever since he left then, I have always missed him and I did not feel the meaning of my life without him. I had no reason to smile. For a year and a half (almost two) we saw each other every two months for 5 days. There have been cases in which and for longer. We came up with all sorts of ways to see each other. We have been deciding for a long time that when he starts 12th grade he will come to work in the city where I study and will live in a dormitory so that we do not separate anymore. And that sounded wonderful. But something changed in me a few weeks ago, I don't think I want to be with him anymore ... Here are the reasons: He is 27, in November he will be 28. Isn't he old for me? He graduated in public administration and has no realization. It works things that can be done without average. He does not have a driver's license and has no desire to earn. It's just ... I'm struggling to become a doctor, I'm going to find a lot of new people along the way. I mean, I could find someone better, someone better for me. He wants a serious relationship and is ready to live together as soon as I go to study. But don't you think I'm too young for such a serious relationship? That I have never seen anything in my life. And something more personal ... Sex doesn't work. First that his is so small that I do not feel anything and ends in 3-4 minutes. I leave aside the fact that he is 1.80 cm tall and weighs as much as me. Oh, it's hard for me because he really loves me and has told me that I am the meaning of his life. I'm sorry to dump him, I tried to do it, I explained to him how I felt and so on. And because I was fighting to break up, he started crying, it's really the biggest tragedy for him to break up. Then we got along, simply because my heart wouldn't let me hurt him. I still have some feelings for him and I don't care how he feels. I am very confused about what to do. I have memories with him of how well we had. He was my biggest support, no one has given me as much courage as him, and indeed I will have a hard time surviving the separation. But since things are getting very serious, I have to make a decision now - should I stay with him or should I dump him and look ahead? Please help, share your opinion sincerely, I need valuable advice. I guess it depends on my decision how my life will develop in the future. What would you do? Thanks for reading my story.

Last Updated
September 21, 2020
Author:
anjouclever

Comments