If He Was Him !?

Hi, I don't know if this is probably the right place to share such things from my life, but I will. I will be happy if you decide to help me by giving your opinion on my so-called problem! When I was seven, my father died. Unfortunately, I don't remember much about him. I only remember the situations in which poverty and the characterlessness and weakness of a man put us. I remember how often it happened that he would come home drunk and start beating his mother, for no reason, out of helplessness! I have witnessed such pathetic scenes many times. After all, I don't blame him, I don't do anything bad to him, on the contrary, although all these idiocies my mother and I loved him and now we miss him terribly! She went to work abroad so she could study me, she even managed to buy me a house! At least I have a home! I am now 16. I study at a language school, I do folk dances, with theater and volunteer work at the Youth Home. I also go to work. As a bartender.