I Was Wrong About Him And I Want Him Back!

We were boyfriends for 3-4 days - a relationship I started (and maybe this is my main fault) a week after another broke my heart after years of love torment. I told myself that the other boy (X) would not be a substitute for the one who hurt me. However, I did not have the strength to move forward with this short relationship because of ... wrong impressions. At our meetings he behaved stupidly and slimy, which totally repulsed me. The things he said sounded complex and even idiotic, so I left him quickly. I'm 16 and he's 18 next year. Because we were in the same company last month, we met regularly. Then he was constantly gesturing to me - to hug me, to hold my hand. But I kept pushing him away! And why Because the day I broke up with him, he met the others in the company and one of the girls told me things about him, which I ONLY NOW UNDERSTAND that they have been repeatedly exaggerated. She made him stupid and aggressive. In the last month, after things calmed down between me and X (I avoided meeting him), we talked a lot on the phone. Every day for at least 2-3 hours. The meetings started to happen live ... I got to know him better and better. One day we were at home and I just couldn't help myself ... I slept with him. It was amazing, just wonderful. After that day I was very busy because of school (we are already with X) and we saw each other only after 5 days ... We went out in the evening because we were lucky and he wanted to steal the 40 minutes of free time I had . He was gentle and kind, but in the evening, when we talked on the phone, he sounded sick. I asked him ten times what was wrong, I had to take the words out of his mouth with a hook. Then he confessed his feelings to me ... I didn't know what to say, I was in shock. We talked more and decided to keep our friendship, because it is very valuable for both of us. But now, a week later, I - the stupid kid and idiot - understand that I also want to be with him ... In a serious relationship, not something non-committal. When we both went out, we used to discuss a girl and I would say, for example, "This one is very pretty, etc." and he sometimes agrees ... It hurts so much when I hear it from him. And not because I compare myself with girls - on the contrary, I like my body and face a lot and I think that everyone is unique !!! It hurts me that he says it ... HE. That's basically it. At first he pushed me away with his low-intelligence behavior, then a girl added oil to the fire, I started to push him away, and then we got closer and became very good friends. And now that I know about his feelings, I want to be with him ... But do I deserve a second chance? I am ready to explain everything to him ... There is just a fear in me that if the good relationship ends, this will be the end of our friendship. I don't want a non-committal friendship with "privileges"! I don't want to share it with others! I want to be his girl ... When he talks about other girls, instead of telling him he's annoying me, I in turn start "hitting", talking about boys I like, and so on. I overdid it - I know. And out of stupidity. I just want to try and see what happens ... If I tell him that I share his feelings and that I want to try something more serious ... how will he react? He calls me often and asks me what I do, how I am, he often calls me just to hear my voice and he wants me to talk, and for him to listen and answer my questions, etc ... But he is an attractive and kind young man and I have the feeling that even if I am beautiful, he will not be only mine! ; (HELP !!!