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I Want To Live, It's Not Too Late, But I'm In A Relationship

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The Story
I am a woman of 23 years, I have been in a relationship for 4-5 years and my boyfriend and I do not have a big age difference. We went through a lot, but I never overcame many things like that communication is lame. Also, the fact that he plays games every day is not alien to drinking and smoking weed. We both live in an apartment of his father, who bought him a car and provided him with a job - in his city, which has fallen into disrepair and I don't like it. Although he works, he is lazy and boring. When it's not on the laptop, it's on the phone or in front of the TV. It happens that we go out, but I am also uninterested in his friends. I have made great efforts so far to soften his selfishness; to make me understand, and to be a better version of myself. The good thing is that he is faithful to me and holds on to me in his way. The other very important thing is that at some points he is aggressive ... He damaged and tore my personal belongings when he was angry. Offensive words and offensive behavior, small taunts are also in the picture. I managed to teach him to remember to run a vacuum cleaner and wash the dishes from time to time - I also go to work, and besides, I study and I often don't have enough time for such things ... sex, even if it was on moments well, not what it should be. And I miss him .. Otherwise we are engaged, and 1 year ago I had an unhappy pregnancy. Now, a year later, I have no desire to marry this man, I have no desire to have a child. I didn't have much before ..
I think I have feelings for him, but I perceive him as my child .. I have a sexual desire, but I have no desire with him ..
I share everything with him, I tell him about everything, but in one detail.
At the moment I am in love ... with another. In a boy who is top everywhere - appearance, manners, demeanor, sports, reads and copes with studying, he manages on his own in life. Very sociable and very liked by women. Cunning and clever. At my age. 2-3 years ago he took me down, but because I liked him a lot, the very fact that he was up to par turned my head even then. So I decided to cut it very roughly ..
I am currently in another city for a short time because I study here. We met him these days by chance at a disco ... But nothing. After that we only chatted and heard each other once, but for hours. That's how we learned a lot about each other. The sexual desire was mutual. He told me that he had been staring at me at the disco the whole time, and he wanted to pull me and kiss me. It was mutual. When he realized that I also wanted to live here, he immediately offered me to stay in a dormitory in a few months (he is now in a dormitory), adding that he was looking for a serious girlfriend. This is a hell of a strange proposal, but when I thought about it, I realized that he just wants to make his financial account ... And I seriously thought about our conversations, because they didn't happen again - he doesn't want to.
As I said - sexual desire. I wanted to see him, and so did he, but he wanted me to send him my erotic and nude photos, I took him ... he said it was before our official sex meeting. I will be happy to meet you, even if there is no sex.
But I miss these things ... My friend, he will not change much, although he promised me and tries ... Because of him my libido is low. And self-confidence and everything.
If I decide to live elsewhere, I have two options - a little difficult, but in my hometown and in the one where I mostly want, where I study. But if I go out, even if I start a new job, my salary will not be enough and my father will stop my money for education, because he pays for my education. That's what he told me. And in the end it will not turn out that I will lose the tame because of the wild. But it is also a fact that my relatives and friends do not like it en masse ... that still says something.
Please comment ... especially if you have experienced something similar.
Last Updated
June 26, 2020
Author:
girlmaturehot

Comments

Published on: June 26, 2020
Published on: June 26, 2020
Published on: June 26, 2020
Published on: June 26, 2020
Published on: June 26, 2020