I Want It Back ....

Ours may have been love at first sight. Because he spoke to me because he liked me. And I've liked him since I saw him. But I did not confess to others or to myself. He was my little secret. He hadn't told me either. I became more and more involved in the conversations. But I couldn't be with him for a number of reasons. One day I just asked him if he would be waiting for me, if he would be waiting for the day when I could be with him. He replied "yes". Half a year later I was really with him. During these six months, I had doubts about whether he would leave, whether he would meet another one with whom he would be right away, etc. However, he had said that he would wait for me and did so. I spent some of my best moments with him. We did very ordinary things - like everyone else. But with him they were wonderful. I was happy only when he took my hand or hugged me as we walked. He never made me expensive gifts. And I didn't want that from him. But once we were on a trip together and he bought me a souvenir that I liked. I still keep it and when I look at it, I remember it and the romantic moments we had then. He is not my first boyfriend, but he is the first man in my life. Everyone is different. But I may not forget that night. I remember being ashamed, and he was glad to be the first, and he was careful with me. I remember always worrying if I was in pain and if I was used to it. He told me again about the plans for us, he was nice. Everything was like a fairy tale, but everything collapsed for several reasons. The first is that I have become quite jealous lately. I suggested different things to myself, and my mother and some of my friends supported me because they didn't like him. This jealousy of mine had grown into an obsession. The other reason is that we had a fight for the New Year. He invited me and his friend, but asked me to call a friend of mine so we could be in pairs. There was no one to call anymore. They either have boyfriends or they already had a plan. That was not the problem, but the fact that I dodged and told them that there was no girl to come at the last minute. It turned out as if I had made a number of them. He was angry that I was not serious. I also think I exposed it to his friend. During the argument, he also mentioned that I was too attached, ie I was suffocating him. I was angry. I told him that I wasn't attached at all, that I didn't care if he saw other girls, that I just wanted to have fun with him and nothing more. After my words, he became so angry that he stopped talking to me. I tried to talk to him, but he didn't pick up the phone or answer my messages. I stopped looking for him. I was hoping he would look for me. But don't do it ... We haven't talked in two months. I admit that I have some other mistakes towards him. I am far from innocent, I am not the victim. I can't turn back time. But I can and I have a strong desire to change. I'm not talking about changing in order to please someone, but not to be jealous enough to suffocate them, appreciate them more and be more honest with them. However, I don't know how to do this ... I still love him, I keep thinking about him. But this time, instead of a smile, I remember with sadness ... nor did he respond to my messages. I stopped looking for him. I was hoping he would look for me. But don't do it ... We haven't talked in two months. I admit that I have some other mistakes towards him. I am far from innocent, I am not the victim. I can't turn back time. But I can and I have a strong desire to change. I'm not talking about changing in order to please someone, but not to be jealous enough to suffocate them, appreciate them more and be more honest with them. However, I don't know how to do this ... I still love him, I keep thinking about him. But this time, instead of a smile, I remember with sadness ... nor did he respond to my messages. I stopped looking for him. I was hoping he would look for me. But don't do it ... We haven't talked in two months. I admit that I have some other mistakes towards him. I am far from innocent, I am not the victim. I can't turn back time. But I can and I have a strong desire to change. I'm not talking about changing in order to please someone, but not to be jealous enough to suffocate them, appreciate them more and be more honest with them. However, I don't know how to do this ... I still love him, I keep thinking about him. But this time, instead of a smile, I remember with sadness ... But I can and I have a strong desire to change. I'm not talking about changing in order to please someone, but not to be jealous enough to suffocate them, appreciate them more and be more honest with them. However, I don't know how to do this ... I still love him, I keep thinking about him. But this time, instead of a smile, I remember with sadness ... But I can and I have a strong desire to change. I'm not talking about changing in order to please someone, but not to be jealous enough to suffocate them, appreciate them more and be more honest with them. However, I don't know how to do this ... I still love him, I keep thinking about him. But this time, instead of a smile, I remember with sadness ...