Hello! I will try to be as short as possible. We have been committed for almost 3 years. He is 30, I am 27 years old. We have been living together for about 2 years. Our relationship is extremely turbulent. We have parted many times in very ugly ways. The divisions are very short and usually at the first meeting after a few days - the relationship resumes. I can't imagine parting, although even I have suggested it in some cases. The problems are as follows - conflicts are present almost constantly. Thousands of times ordinary conversations have turned into unprecedented scandals. Irrevocable parts of me and my character provoke a violent reaction, which is expressed in insult, silence, rolling of eyes, puffing, etc. When I am silent - bad, because I am silent when I speak - "fool, you better stop talking because you're exposing yourself, I'll turn your head "and so on. You can imagine. He is extremely nervous, tolerates almost nothing that irritates him, reacts sharply and hastily. His work is very busy and he has to be on the laptop almost all day. We don't have much time together, and the time we have is almost always filled with silence or quarrels. Ever since we've been together, over time I've started to get hysterical - I scream, I push him, I slap him, he slaps me too. In general, I do not get into conflicts with anyone and I was generally a calm person. Ever since we've been together, I've been very emotional and crying all the time, even if I'm not home. He says that I am not pleasant to him, that we have nothing to talk about, that we have no common interests, I am lazy, lying, garbage, vicious, I am to blame for all our problems, I am stupid and I do not understand how to deal with people , selfish, with mental problems. At the same time, he is not leaving. He says we are together because it is convenient at the moment and we never comment on a wedding or children. He introduced me to his parents, we are often with them, they like me. I don't share anything with them and I feel that from all the stress of work and our relationship will burst and explode on me. At the same time he cares a lot for me, I know I can always count on him, even when he doesn't talk to me. When he is not angry, he behaves very kindly and makes gestures. He never said that he loved me, although I could tell from the gestures towards me that it was so. He's not cheating on me. I get angry when I want to go out with a friend, I get angry when we don't spend time together and I don't put it first in everything. I don't understand what's going on and my nervous outbursts are starting to take over. I think that I'm to blame for everything and I don't know how to heal our relationship and keep it going. I needed to share, thanks. Most of my relatives are of the opinion that we are not for each other and we should separate. And lastly, he had other relationships in which he was lied to and cheated on. Now he considers even the slightest discrepancy to be a huge lie - for example, "Did you throw that in the fridge?" I say yes, it turns out I'm not and I'm wrong. "Liar, how long will you continue with your nonsense and get on my nerves ?!" That type. I say yes, it turns out I'm not and I'm confused. "Liar, how long will you continue with your nonsense and get on my nerves ?!" That type. I say yes, it turns out I'm not and I'm confused. "Liar, how long will you continue with your nonsense and get on my nerves ?!" That type.
1 janet_rossreborn answered
He wants to feel loved, you also want to feel loved, but somewhere between these two positive statements there is a barrier that totally hinders you. You are not your people. I will tell you that love does not look the way your relationship exists. You don't fit in as characters, he has emotional baggage from his exes, you get nervous and that takes precedence over the attitude you give him. Things, at least from my point of view, will not work for you. You may love each other when you refuse to let go, but you don't have a healthy relationship. There are constructive scandals, there are stupid scandals. Your disputes are of the second type. You make an elephant out of a fly, tear it, slap it, take offense, then reunite. From a calm person you have become a ball of nerves. Your relationship would be defined as great love if you were 15 years old, but you are already big people and you need to put more intelligence into the emotional problems you have. I don't know what your husband is like, by description I don't like him at all, but I suppose he may be a great person, he's just not like you. Sometimes two people are perfect, but they influence each other badly and "spoil" each other. End this relationship so that you can save yourself and he can keep it too. You should not be someone's convenience, you should be a priority, a future woman, almost a family. If you have a child, you will put him or her in a psychiatric ward with your type of relationship. That's enough, you've suffered enough. You will suffer for the absence of this man because you have been together long enough, but I think you will suffer twice as much with him. I don't know what your husband is like, by description I don't like him at all, but I suppose he may be a great person, he's just not like you. Sometimes two people are perfect, but they influence each other badly and "spoil" each other. End this relationship so that you can save yourself and he can keep it too. You should not be someone's convenience, you should be a priority, a future woman, almost a family. If you have a child, you will put him or her in a psychiatric ward with your type of relationship. That's enough, you've suffered enough. You will suffer for the absence of this man because you have been together long enough, but I think you will suffer twice as much with him. I don't know what your husband is like, by description I don't like him at all, but I suppose he may be a great person, he's just not like that with you. Sometimes two people are perfect, but they influence each other badly and "spoil" each other. End this relationship so that you can save yourself and he can keep it too. You should not be someone's convenience, you should be a priority, a future woman, almost a family. If you have a child, you will put him or her in a psychiatric ward with your type of relationship. That's enough, you've suffered enough. You will suffer for the absence of this man because you have been together long enough, but I think you will suffer twice as much with him.