I Need Advice From Men.

   On the one hand, you're right that you put too much pressure on him, BUT he's also to blame for that, I'm sorry, but you can't tell me that mature people with a serious relationship, supposedly madly in love, see each other once a week? What is this thing, if there really is love, a way will be found, and not only reasons not to get ... I hope he doesn't use you only because he is a mature man with a child, it is not easy to catch -young boyfriend, free. Most of his alternatives are with other women around his age, probably with children, and you were just his jackpot. Make sure he really has feelings for you and then think about how much you want him and whether to be together again. Good luck and smart! :) м27

   If he was sorry, he would tell you, no matter how shy he was. Seeing once a week is also not normal. If there is a desire - there is time. Are you even sure you have a daughter, not a son?

   Thank you for your feedback. I forgot to mention that seeing each other only once a week was very rare, maybe once a month, and it wasn't because of reluctance, but because of the schedule of the two of them, especially his. I don't know, you may be right that he didn't love me at all and that's why it happened, but I'm more interested in what you think, why he keeps writing to me non-stop, from morning to night, and at the same time doesn't initiate a meeting. ? This is my most confusing case.

   There is nothing shameful and you will not expose yourself if you ask for a meeting yourself - it depends on how much you care about this person and what you expect from your relationship with him. The fact that he cares about his child does not mean that he does not care about you or that he ignores you, but again, it all depends on what your expectations are for the development of your relationship - I think it's not too late to look around for a free man around your age who will be able to give you the time and attention you need. Have you thought about marriage and children, can you accept another's child, take care of him, and at the same time have your own - these are the more important (in my opinion) questions, not why he writes to you all over day SMS. Sure, he's already sorry he broke up with you, but he doesn't have the courage to admit it to you if you find your answers to the above questions,

   I think it gives you a second chance. Instead of thinking, take advantage. Answer him wittily, present yourself in the best possible light, show him what you are when you are not mad with love and loneliness hysterical. What does "I don't know if he loves me" mean? Make it !!

   First, our comments are just opinions and they can not serve as direct advice, however we do not know much about you. Here is what I think: The first days after the separation, if there was love in it, but there was no love. They are the most difficult. The fact that he keeps writing to you means, at the very least, that he thinks of you as you describe him, often does. If he thinks about you, then you have the chance to be together. The question is whether you want that. He and I, with all my friends, behaved like this: We talk, we communicate, I am interested in how my partner is. I listen to him carefully. I don't say a word about love, it may seem obvious to me, but not a word about it. When the partner makes an attempt for rapprochement - I point out a number of reasons that we should not be together, it can be said that I reject her with arguments. If at this point, she stops stalking me, I'm getting a little naughty, but I'm moving on. If she has given up, then she does not want us to be two, there is no point in continuing. I will be with a person who loves me very much, he must fight for me. However, if my girlfriend sees in my desire to communicate - that I want to be with her. I usually give in, I don't know how long it takes, usually a week or two. In which it should not be given up, not in the least. The fact that you've pressed him before, well, it's good to give in a little bit, unless he enjoys just such behavior, but most people don't like someone to be persecuting and blaming them. Many people are sensitive to criticism and drama. Still, we want to experience pleasant moments with our partner. And in general, the behavior of your "beloved" is not unusual. You're the one who has to decide do you want it or not? If so - pursue him, reassure him of your love for him, get angry when he sends you away, agree to everything that is a manifestation of attention. If he sends you an SMS, write to him as soon as possible. As if you can't breathe without him. That's what my current girlfriend is doing. When she wants to get along, she blames herself for ruining her life because I don't want to be with her. The latter does not do it better. If you don't want it - just start avoiding it. The question is what do you want? Because there is also a type of love in which the two partners do not love each other equally, but the two behave, and it is not obvious that they are not in love. That's what my current girlfriend is doing. When she wants to get along, she blames herself for ruining her life because I don't want to be with her. The latter does not do it better. If you don't want it - just start avoiding it. The question is what do you want? Because there is also a type of love in which the two partners do not love each other equally, but the two behave, and it is not obvious that they are not in love. That's what my current girlfriend is doing. When she wants to get along, she blames herself for ruining her life because I don't want to be with her. The latter does not do it better. If you don't want it - just start avoiding it. The question is what do you want? Because there is also a type of love in which the two partners do not love each other equally, but the two behave, and it is not obvious that they are not in love.

   Why does it continue? Because he thinks you will appreciate his concern and return to him. But then you will be the one in need and you will play by his rules. You will agree to its terms kind of. Or maybe he just needs sex with a younger woman and that's the way to seduce him. There are many such deluded women who love a man, and the only way to be with him is by letting him go, even agreeing that he does not love them and that they are a rag in his eyes, but with him.

   I don't think the lady is so young that a man just wants sex. Yes, she is smaller than him. But 31 years. They are not few. And if he wanted to have a girl for sex, he would find an 18- to 20-year-old.

   Oh, I'm starting to get confused. Obviously there are men who pretend to be inaccessible to fight for them, but how do I know if he is. This is my biggest problem, I don't know what he wants to do. I'm not shy, and if I'm convinced he wants us to get together, I'll act now, but I'm not. Why doesn't he make any hints in his messages? Does he really just not dare to admit that he's sorry he dumped me or does he really not want anything more for me to hit him. You see, I don't want to humiliate myself in front of him, because as number 7 says, it's as if I agree to play by his rules, so my most important problem is to find out what's behind his constant text messages. Otherwise, I asked myself the other questions, I just forgot to mention that I also have a child and I'm a single mother, so this, that he has a child is not a problem for me at all. I also don't think he used me only for sex, because I'm younger than him, as number 8 says, I'm not that young, and he's a well-maintained person, you can't give him his age.

   I think he wants you, but you shouldn't push him, men like to command a parade. Reply to his messages. Love is patience, compromise and trust, if there are any in your relationship fight for it.

   Excuse me for interfering, I'm a woman, but I think I understand perfectly well why she's writing to you. When he told you that you were breaking up, you were sad, but you were no longer impudent and did not look for him - so he saw that you were reasonable and no longer felt threatened or oppressed. Probably after thinking about it, he realized that your drama was dictated by love. Love reasonable restraint = something very charming and wonderful :) Obviously, once he writes to you, then he wants to fix things, starting with those who have tormented you the most.

   Under no circumstances listen to those who advise you to request a meeting. No. Whoever has ended the relationship must cancel that end. If you offer yourself to him now, even if he is overwhelmed with intentions - as if you hastily open the oven with the pastries - he will fall! You wait and just give in a little, and during this time let his imagination paint what you think :) Love will flare up again ..

   I am number 4 and I will tell you again, do not waste your time in empty thoughts, but act. In the end, this is not a first meeting, there is no way to expose yourself as the first to take the step of reconciliation. I hope you really made the right conclusions and correct your previous behavior, time will tell. Success!

   To number 13 - don't, don't advise her this, this is NOT about a gambling dump like "it happens, it doesn't, but if it goes well". This works very rarely, it only works on certain men. In other cases it leads to a final and irreversible repulsion, a type of complete intolerance. I have seen beautiful girls who prove to men to be stupid and tactless with periodic resumption of attacks. Without ANY success!

   Try, don't try, I was really confused :) I've never been back to ex-boyfriends and I don't have much experience in that. If any of you have, I'll be happy to share, I just don't know where to start. I was thinking of inviting him for coffee, but I don't know how he would interpret it. How did you do?

   He may suffer from narcissistic perversion, find out what this means and how he is recognized on the Internet. And beware of emotional dependence

   Yes, invite him for coffee and that's it. You're here, he won't look for you anymore. It's complicated to explain, but I guarantee you. Do not cling to his attention and think that he is waiting for a personal invitation from you. The case is quite different. The man now listens to his feelings and wonders if he wants them, he knows yours to the core ... Let him do whatever he decides. Don't "cavalier" him, he can do it himself. But if you can't stand it and invite him, promise, by cutting you off, to write it here so that it is an earring in the ear of unbelievers in love axioms.

   Men sometimes behave like small children, of course not everyone is like that, but for example I am one of them. I also asked my ex-girlfriend to separate, but after a few days I realized that I missed her and I started with text messages, letters, etc. At first I did not have the courage to admit that I made a mistake asking for separation, but in the end I gathered my strength and found a way to apologize for my stupid behavior. I guess your man is from the same model, if you can wait for him. In other posts I told you that there is nothing shameful in looking for him first, I keep saying it, but when you think about your situation he asked for separation and it is right for him to ask for forgiveness - you know the person better and mostly you know yourself perfectly, if you can wait or just also ask him by SMS why he is constantly writing to you, don't say that you like it or don't like it, just ask him, it can provoke him to take the next step. You seem to be a big girl, you seem to have had other boyfriends, and now you are asking some such questions as the students ask them - relax and use your intuition!

   Again from number 6. In my previous comment, I explained how my girlfriend treats me and how I react to it. I also mention that I am hardly the only man who behaves like that. My experience with previous returns shows that our relationships usually improve because we already know what we did wrong last time. The idea of ​​coffee seems very logical to me. If he refuses, it means that he hardly has sympathy for you, if he accepts, then he accepts you. And even if he comes and accuses you of continuing to watch him specifically. You can safely deny this, or explain yourself to him. Tell him: For you I may be the past, but for me you are the future. Few people will remain inaccessible to these words. Insert a little acting. As you wonder here, whether you want it or not, a time passes in which you move away, and a third person may intervene who is not wasting his time thinking, but acting. And by the time you decide what you want, you may no longer need to think. Don't think that you are the only one who can have feelings for him.

   Okay, number 17, why is he so sure he's going to cut me off? What if the man is more insecure and does not dare to take the first step? I have talked to him on similar topics and I know that in such a situation, he will not act, he is just such a person. He is not decisive and is very sensitive, he is afraid that his feelings will be hurt. It's Cancer after all. I have a question next to number 18. Please tell me, what happened to you after that? How long did you text her and who took the first step towards collection? By the way, I was a little worried these days that he reduced the text messages and I already thought that he almost didn't want to deal with it anymore, but today we heard each other on the phone for the first time since we broke up and he sounded very good. When we agreed to remain friends, he told me that if I had a problem, I could always call him and talk. So today I had a problem in the house and I decided to ask for his male opinion. He was very accommodating, but I tried to end the conversation faster so as not to be impudent. We talked for about 12 minutes and finally, thanking him for the advice, he said I was always welcome to call him if I needed to. He was not trying to get rid of me quickly, on the contrary, he was explaining to me in detail and we were talking about other things besides the problem I had. And even though he was busy. What do you think, is this a good sign? he explained to me in detail and we talked about other things besides the problem I had. And even though he was busy. What do you think, is this a good sign? he explained to me in detail and we talked about other things besides the problem I had. And even though he was busy. What do you think, is this a good sign?

   What could be safer than liking you and thinking about you? And you can call him, come to fix something in your house or give an opinion and when he comes to give an opinion, you can offer him to stay for dinner. And so have a nice evening. And few things come together like a good dinner with a little wine.

   from number 7 - Well, I'll tell you, I really have MANY identical examples, absolutely all my friends / it's an epidemic already / were impudent with supposedly harmless suggestions, that's the right word - they were impudent ... They intruded on men who definitely liked them, but they did nothing substantial, or they did, but for a short time. They did not take action because they saw that the girls were desperately attached and with obvious intentions. All the girlfriends used this argument - he is shy, he is indecisive, he is so sensitive, if I wait for him, I will wait for him forever ... The result - a sharp and final withdrawal of the boy after 2-3 months of playing cat and mouse, during which the boys were shaking with a guilty conscience and trying to be careful, which gave false hopes ... Finally they shook nervously: "What do you want from me, man, don't you see that nothing will come out? "and even -" You're NOT my type "And that provided that before there was a flirtation, there were fluids, there was interest. You did it yourself, I'm sorry ... Your man called you, because when you tamed and saddened, he saw you defenseless and tender, meek and delicate, he didn't need a hyena to offer him coffee meetings, to hint that he was indecisive, and to help him like a cripple, how many times did I explain to my friends men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, tolerate, endure a week or two and shout, "I took that I wrote to him because I'm tired already - I want to know if it will be her job or not "And?" And this given that before there was a flirtation, there were fluids, there was interest. You did it yourself, I'm sorry ... Your man looked for you, because when you calmed down and saddened you, he saw you defenseless and tender, meek and delicate. He doesn't need a hyena to offer him coffee meetings, to hint that he is indecisive, and to help him like a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :(( And this given that before there was a flirtation, there were fluids, there was interest. You did it yourself, I'm sorry ... Your man looked for you, because when you calmed down and saddened you, he saw you defenseless and tender, meek and delicate. He doesn't need a hyena to offer him coffee meetings, to hint that he is indecisive, and to help him like a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :(( I'm sorry ... Your man looked for you, because when you calmed down and made you sad, he saw you defenseless and tender, meek and delicate. He doesn't need a hyena to offer him coffee meetings, to hint that he is indecisive, and to help him like a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :(( I'm sorry ... Your man looked for you, because when you calmed down and made you sad, he saw you defenseless and tender, meek and delicate. He doesn't need a hyena to offer him coffee meetings, to hint that he is indecisive, and to help him like a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :(( that he is indecisive and helps him as a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :(( that he is indecisive and helps him as a cripple. How many times have I explained to my friends - men are really terrified of pressure and help! Strangely, women should be born with such a sense, why have you all lost it? My friends agree, they are patient, they are patient for a week or two and they say: "I took it that I wrote to him because I'm tired - I want to know if it will be her job or not" And? "did not answer" :((

   I'm number 18 - I don't remember the details anymore, but I was the one who wanted to meet and fix our relationship - they were angry with me for a while, but in the end we resumed our relationship. In fact, it wasn't the same anymore, but it wasn't any worse — everyone had drawn their own conclusions. Number 21 told you very well about dinner - your friends go to dinner, go out to dinner (I think this is the better option), and after dinner ... Think of an occasion to go out, it will relax him and no hints for after dinner - let him make the decision himself!

   100% :)) he thought, he can always leave you, sex such things .. I had a similar story, I lost it - it irritated me, then I thought and decided that I do not care so much about her, but safe sex :) ) and I went back :)) but with these text messages it's very disturbing :)))

   7-22, you are very right. And I'm an example of how when you press a man, he spits on his heels and no longer wants to look at you lol. There was a game of cat and mouse for months, until I got tired and I asked him the question - will something happen between us or not ... and he immediately evaporated. No text messages, no jokes, suddenly everything calmed down. Then I realized how wrong I was with this move. As long as I was non-committal and playful, everything was perfect. It's funny now that I remember, but on the other hand it's like an earring to me how I shouldn't act and talk when a man is still unsure of his feelings. Well, now the gentleman is still alone and remembers me, but I am with another and even live with him. For some things one has to survive the right time and the right words and actions, otherwise everything fails. The author, I would advise you to have a story and a joke, but do not ask ultimatums and questions to which one wonders how to react and where to hide from embarrassment. It is most important for a man to know that he has freedom, even if he has a woman by his side. Doriana

   Hello. It's me again, the author :) I was at a conference over the weekend and I was a little late with the update;) So, on Friday, while we had a break at the conference, we wrote to him on Facebook and he added that he took 2 weeks off and had free time. I said to myself, now is the time to act, and I sent him a message in which I casually added that I would be happy to see you one day if I had time. I was quite afraid of what he would answer, but on the next break, I was relieved to see that his answer was that he would be happy too and that we would discuss it when I returned from the conference. I was very happy, of course, but then I got a little scared because he didn't mention anything in his next text messages and I thought maybe he wouldn't raise the topic again, because I wouldn't dare ask him a second time. Thank God, last night, today, while traveling to our city, we wrote to him again and he said he was watching a movie, I asked if it was interesting and he said yes, I'll tell you when I see you :) This assured me that he really wants to see me, not that he just felt compelled to accept. However, there is something that worries me a lot. While I was at this conference, obviously from the stress and lack of sleep, I had a lot of cold sores on my lips and I look awful, as if someone had punched me :( I just don't know what to do now, since when do I wait to see him again, and I'll look like nothing :( What do you think? Should I meet him like that or wait until he gets better and then. Just to add that herpes is so bad that it will probably take at least 2 weeks to fully recover, and until then his vacation will be over, and I don't want to miss the moment, I don't want to push him away in that way.

   There is no greater refusal than, of course ... '' Someday. When I say that, I mean. If I don't mind, I just won't do it now. Once he has agreed, specify the date, time and place. This is something more certain. As for Herpes, if you haven't made an appointment yet, invite him when you're done. And if you have clarified, tell him that you have health problems and it is better to postpone it. It would be very nasty for me to look at such a problem. Although I would go to the meeting. But looking away will ruin it. You can cover them with a scarf. However, it is not very pleasant to talk to your friend with a scarf over his mouth.

   I still don't have a sure appointment, what's bothering you? to hear and see each other, I agree, do you know how many people, but we don't see each other for months, unless we meet by chance. so wait for your herpes to go away, it's really a nasty problem. smear them with some medicine.

   Well, I don't think it's a refusal, because we agreed to see each other on Thursday last night. I tried to postpone it because of the herpes, but he said not to worry because he wanted to see me before his vacation was over. I hope by then they are gone and I can cover them with makeup. Squeeze your thumbs to have good news after the meeting :)

   I'm number 18-23 and I'm not going to give you a thumbs up, but I'm sure everything will be fine. When a man loves a woman, he is ready to accept herpes, he is ready to accept that she is in PMS every month, that she is not always perfect - after all, women are people (this is a joke). Don't give up the meeting, you can't know how he will interpret your refusal - let him see for himself that you didn't lie to him, it will lift you in his eyes - all normal men know women's numbers with headaches, herpes, stomach etc. don't let him think you're pretending to be great or one of the many pushing cheap numbers! Success! And tell me when everything falls into place!

   Thank you, number 30, I will definitely tell you how the meeting went :)

   Hello again, I hasten to tell you how the meeting went and to ask you what you think about the things that happened. So he came home and at first we were a little stiff, we still saw each other for the first time after the breakup, but then we relaxed and talked and laughed as before. At one point, I mentioned to him that a friend and I were going out tomorrow night, and that she wanted us to go somewhere where more single men used to gather, and I innocently added that I wondered why she had single men after she was engaged. and he added so anxiously that she must be trying to find me a man and looked at me, expecting me to say something, but I just laughed and fell silent. I caught him looking at me a few times, I had done the case. And what puzzled me the most in the end was that before he left, we stood at the door for a long time and talked to each other, and finally, he said he was very pleased to see me and thanked me for inviting him. Then he approached me and hugged me, but not just quickly and friendly, but he held me in his arms for a long time, squeezing me harder from time to time and stroking my back lightly. I, for my part, did the same thing, and we both sighed, as if we wanted to say something, but we both didn't dare. This went on for a long time and I felt a little awkward because he wasn't saying anything and I didn't know what to say, so I joked and he let me go, but we both looked confused. I'm sure if it weren't for my herpes, we would have kissed, but there was simply no way. Then I sent him to his car and we parted very friendly and with the arrangement to see you again soon. So what do you think this hug means? I think, that he still loves me and seems to feel the ground, but I'm not entirely sure. If I was absolutely sure, I would act immediately and offer to try again. I will be glad to hear your opinions as well.

   "Well, I don't think it's a rejection, because last night we agreed to see each other on Thursday." Who proposed specifically for Thursday? - If you - then stroking your back was a comforting refusal, mixed with a little good feelings. "If he offered ... I'm trying, but I can't imagine asking for an appointment and finally slapping you on the back ... So the first option remains." I am very sad for you, but the person obviously has contradictory feelings and for now the fears prevail. I recently witnessed a young man abandon a girl he LOVED because he was fed up with the same problems with her. There is a kind of intolerance that overcomes good feelings. For a month after that, he hugged her when he saw her, but there was no question of reconciling with her, because he was afraid that the dramas would be repeated indefinitely. As this month passed, he slowly got used to her and grabbed another who was not his type, but with a soft soul. I don't remember how your story started anymore, but you obviously scared him. Here and now you have posed the question on the edge by interfering with the competition - free men. Why were you? A transparent rating raise is :( Don't you think he doesn't feel manipulated? Be humble, you're still very aggressive. If you had someone who made you dramas, you would see that you were afraid of him, even when he pretends to be meek, get in his position, you will have a long time to prove that you are reasonable.

   Excuse me, it's me again / I said you were aggressive /. I have another hypothesis. Someone rightly remarked that this person did not look for you often at first and let you in once a week. What if that's his goal still - rare casual sex and he wants you to reconcile? To accept this episodic participation in his life and, being afraid of losing it, to remain just a toy? So here is my advice - if you think that the man is decent and wants to have a common future with you, be delicate. In any other case, get rid of it - either with hints or with a scandal :)

   I'm number 30 again - you're wasting your time guessing girl. It seems that the person is ready to try again, if you are ready you should not miss your chances. In fact, you don't know who gives whom a second chance, but if he didn't feel anything for you, he wouldn't come to you, let alone hug you at parting - just be careful with your claims from now on, he's probably really busy with work. and care for your own child - try to understand him and get into his situation, enjoy the time he has given you and enjoy it! I wish you success, life is not easy, but sometimes it is very fun - it depends on which side you look at it! Love each other, the rest will fall into place!

   :) There is nothing more to think about. It's yours! But drive it slower. In the sense that you shouldn't offer it to him right away. And to predispose him again and to act this time. He wants you, but you can scare him.

   Unfortunately, I think that number 33 is right, obviously I really scared him a lot, so much that he is already afraid to try again, because the same dramas will happen again. He gave me just that as an argument, when he wanted us to break up, he asked where the guarantee was that this would not happen again in a month. Apparently he really still has feelings for me, but he doesn't want to risk getting back to the same problems we had before. I was very encouraged after this hug and the message he sent me later, where he said again how nice it was that we saw each other, but when I told him that it was nice for me to see you and that hope to see you again soon, he didn't answer anything. He answered all the other things I asked him in my message, but not the question of seeing. That opened my eyes, that he just doesn't want to change his mind, even though he still has feelings for me. I'm sure he still loves me, because no matter what anyone says, no one hugs someone like that if there's nothing more between them, especially since he's not one of those men who has female friends to hug. goodbye. He also continues to write to me non-stop, without me being the one who writes to him and he has nowhere to answer. On the contrary, he writes to me in the morning good morning and always asks me questions in his messages so that the dialogue can continue. But anyway, I made a decision for myself and that is that I have no intention of waiting for him to decide forever what he wants. I will no longer hint at meetings and anything, I will be friendly and that's it. If he wants to do something more, he is still the man and he is the one who ended the relationship. I'm tired of wasting my nerves with him, constantly wondering what his behavior means. Surely if I find another, he will very quickly remember how much he loves me and that he was wrong, but it will be too late. Thank you all for your advice and wishes. If there is any development I will write again.

   What happened, did you get together again? :)