Hello. Until recently, I had a girlfriend with whom we were together for about a year and a half. We kept in touch from a distance and rarely saw each other, but through social networks and phone calls we had built a strong connection and trust. I loved her very much and we wanted to continue our life together. She is one year younger than me. When I became a student and moved to study in a city even further away from it, a lot of problems started to appear. Insecurity, jealousy. My new lifestyle and my much more limited free time (my university is difficult) made our communication even more complicated. Her absence weighed heavily on me. We rarely had sex, which at one time drove me crazy, but then I just resigned myself. Our problems escalated constantly, we quarreled over the smallest nonsense, a constant impasse. She was very jealous of me, I couldn't stand it, I couldn't control my tone and hurt her. He started coming to visit more often, and in that I saw the hope that things would get better between us. However, there were still scandals and scenes that only made me more desperate. One day, after a series of serious scandals, it boiled over, I became indifferent, and I told her that I wanted to separate. It was very difficult for me to do that. She asked me if we couldn't fix things, but I said we couldn't. A few days later, we continued to write to each other on a daily basis, albeit more briefly, and we often became emotional. I was still determined to end this because I saw a lot of toxicity and pain in it for both of us. I lied to her that there was another girl in order to push her away and to know that we would not be looking for each other. Even as I said it, I knew I would be very sorry for what I was doing. A few weeks passed and I realized how, despite everything, I love her as much as before and her absence is very painful and throws me into absolute isolation and a sense of helplessness. She began to kill me with cruel jealousy that she might have already found someone else. I wrote to her. She answered me with the same things I did to her. I also told her that in fact there was no other person all the time with the last hope that I could continue with her one day. She did not give me such hope, but the next day she shared a photo of a couple with their pet, which visually reminded us strongly. I feel in an unreal hopelessness, a very destructive behavior manifests itself in me (with a long history over the years) with thoughts of suicide and drugs. I think I made a huge irreparable mistake with a man with whom we built our "ideology" for love and the world.
1 marmic1104 answered
Immediately go to her city and clarify everything in person, otherwise you can not change anything to hug her kiss and everything will be ok;) success