I Love You ... Leave Me Alone!

   I find similarities with my "disappearances" story. After the third, I just let it be known that I was retiring. For me, if someone loves someone, he is looking for him, and he means that the other is waiting for a response. If he does not have this consciousness, it means that he is either confused or (hopefully not!) There is something to hide. It's not easy for me either, because I have feelings too. But I know this is the only right behavior. Above the feelings is the consciousness of correctness; sacrifice and the ability to forgive should not be a reason for creating mess, disgrace on the part of the other and humiliation. Love is difficult to pass, if it passes at all, but it suffers much more in unsettled and WRONG relationships. Maybe you've come across a mentally unstable woman, and you don't think that the "turbulent period" you're talking about has left its mark on her. Don't take this job seriously, brother ... And two more things surprised me in your story. If your ex-wife cheated on her before marriage, HOW would you think to connect with her? The end of this marriage was completely natural, but unfortunately you had to waste a lot of time and lose a lot of feelings and hopes ... The second is that you told your wife about your new relationship. Why? You don't have to be accountable, and discretion in this case is not a sign of insincerity ... In general, brother, be careful with unsuccessful nobility, because maybe it's just naivety. At the first sign of a moral foul, things should be clarified, and at the second and third - it should be cut off! Loneliness is far more preferable than some mish-mash that looks like a relationship. Forgive me - you write that you do not want advice, that you just want to pour out your soul, but I dare say

   It's painful not to see him. I have nothing to tell you.

   Don't you choose those who will appreciate you, and not those who like and love you ...

   What you have, but at the same time we all neglect in this small country, is conscience. And yours is clean. Congratulations! Accept that some people do not need help. They need time or they are self-sufficient. They will realize your absence only when you are somewhere ... and most of all happy somewhere. Be sure to enjoy your freedom!

   When we love we do not hint, we do not let the other guess what we feel we do not play we are sincere with him we speak honestly without hesitation hints We know what we want if we do not share it with the loved one There are unanswered questions. You didn't do anything - you didn't love her

   Okay, this is all very sad, but here's my summary of why things don't work out. On an intellectual level and as sympathy and sharing things are ok. However, the main solder is missing - sexual tension, attraction on a purely physical level. Without this thing we remain in a scenario in which everything is supposed to be fine, you are supposed to be a wonderful person, etc., but there is no attraction. If you don't know how to create sexual tension (this also applies to women!) Things don't work out. Now about your ex-wife, the whole situation reminds me of how many women experience themselves as a kind of supervisor of slaves - their husbands, judging them on how they do their job, criticizing them, and so on. Is this life? Were heavy men born, raised, loved to become slaves? Why become lawless slaves then? Because they are deluded and socially conditioned, that they must be in the service of the woman. Until this thinking and expectations are broken, such stories will continue. The role of the woman in the family is designed to be a helper to the man, to support him in all situations, to be with him for better or worse, to be his support. What has now become the understanding of the role of women in the family is a perversion of the so-called "mainstream feminism" i.e. mass feminism which views man solely as a "provider" or provider of well-being to the woman. When I say mass feminism, these are not various extreme cracks of extreme feminists in various parades and marches, no ... What I mean is much more vile and widespread. These are the theses in magazines, movies, media that teach how a woman should be independent, what she should expect from a man, how she deserves a lot, how special it is, how you don't have to put up with anything. Mass feminism is Samantha Jones and "Sex and the City" and the like. Mass feminism is the pressure for greater rights for women, and so on. Everything aimed specifically at women at the expense of functional and normal relations in society. All this leads to degradation in relations and destruction of society. Everyone can read the effect of this in the west, in forums and the like. Here people still do not understand why things do not work, but here too the situation will catch up and become clear. All this leads to degradation in relations and destruction of society. Everyone can read the effect of this in the west, in forums and the like. Here people still do not understand why things do not work, but here too the situation will catch up and become clear. All this leads to degradation in relations and destruction of society. Everyone can read the effect of this in the west, in forums and the like. Here people still do not understand why things do not work, but here too the situation will catch up and become clear.

   Courage, my friend. You put such trials in your life before you came. You probably won't understand me, but I'm telling you - enjoy every moment because you're alive.

   You came across a former muffin, a current money seeker. With mental problems. She held you for a fifth spare tire while developing financially handsome men. She treated her depression with sex with other payers. You were her friend, a trash can. You are very naive for a person your age. Next time, be very careful. Measure seven times and cut once! And take your time with the movie I want a serious relationship. This is not easy at a young age, let alone with us. F46

   I am a man of 50 years and I will tell you something. It is obvious that you are from my generation in the way of writing and the way of thinking. You are a great person and I am glad that there are still such Bulgarians. Stay that way and you will win, just when you least expect it. I do not want to explain to you my troubles and sufferings over the years, but now I am insanely happy with a wonderful person next to me. Remember - you will be happy man! Do not lose hope!

   Author, read the myth of Pygmalion. He is a sculptor who falls in love with a statue sculpted by himself. The legend ends happily - the goddess Venus takes pity on him, gives the statue life and they both live happily. Yes, but it doesn't happen in life. We often create an ideal in which we try to "dress" the object of our feelings. You can't expect one person to give you what they don't have. You obviously choose unbalanced women, but you want consistency, responsibility and clarity in the relationship. Depression is no excuse for someone to disappear for a week without calling. In trust between the two partners, it is said: "I do not feel well, I need a change, I plan to go somewhere to rest for a few days." Your first wife looked at you as a ticket to Hawaii. What does "expected" mean? to provide for her? After all, two spouses build their lives together and together "provide" for what they dream of. Presumably in a family the rights and responsibilities are shared equally. You fall, she lifts you up; she staggers, you support her. One cannot pull the cart and the other cannot ride. You don't want advice, but I'll give you one anyway. One must cultivate in oneself the so-called healthy egoism. It is to realize your own needs, expectations, desires; to demand respect and esteem from others. Only when you are healthy, emotionally complete and happy with life can you give of yourself to others. What to give them when you have nothing? When are you internally devastated and unhappy? Where to give it to them when you don't have it? Think about it.

   Author Thank you friends. I didn't expect you to be interested in my story. Thank you for the comments. I appreciate that most of you are sympathetic and that has provoked you to express your opinion. This is touching and really brought me some comfort. I pondered the opinion of each of you. Apparently I have "touched" you and you have given me the time and effort to express your point of view as bystanders. I thought it would be correct for me to thank and answer. To number 1 Friend, thank you for your opinion. You are a very good and fair person. It would be an honor for me if I had you in the circle of my friends and comrades, but I am still glad that they are there somewhere in the white world, a person with correct thinking and values ​​like mine. I will answer you. I forgave my boyfriend by changing my principles. I believe in the second chance and, that one can transform and go through catharsis. The saying that "the wolf changes his fur, but not his temper" is not entirely true ... One can change if one wants it with all one's heart. I forgave by trampling on my principles and masculine dignity. I looked into her eyes, she was crying and begging for forgiveness. I had to forgive her and leave. That was right. I also gave a chance with the clear awareness that I was making a mistake, and in the end, now, after more than 20 years, I paid the price. I created two wonderful children who are my support, although somewhere ... I always paid the bill - the whole bill. I knew I would pay her. Believe me - I knew. I have weaknesses and mistakes. I have also been forgiven many times. It helped me in life, the will to forgive. It is not fair to be ruthless and then expect forgiveness. To be ruthless and to hope for mercy ... In this case I made a mistake that I have to forgive myself. I paid. To the last penny, now I want to forgive myself. I have not cheated. I am proud of this. I'm not sorry I did the right thing. If I regret believing and living with this virtue, but expect "praise," it is not sincere. A person who regrets living faithfully and expects to be applauded risks going to the other extreme and ... being disfigured. In today's world, fidelity is stupidity, obsolescence. People fall into some monstrous selfishness. They justify their weaknesses so ingeniously that ... aha, believe them. Lies and mimicry ... Everyone likes values, everyone pretends to follow them, but few are sincere. That is the reality. No woman will say to you: Look, you attract me, you are funny, you are smart, it's good for you to entertain me, but it's very important to me to be rich and provide for me. I will do something for prestige and not be bored. You will really support me ... Besides, I don't believe that monogamy is "evolutionarily" logical, I will have fun with other partners. I will communicate with other fun subjects, I will have sex with them, if we like it ... In general, I want to be totally satisfied and fully live my life ... These are the real thoughts and desires, but he will tell you: I I want a serious relationship with a good and faithful person. I want us to be our support, to rely on each other. I want us to be true. I'm not cheating. No one is crazy to be honest and say exactly what they want. They want one thing, but it's another. How to achieve it? The only way is with lies, manipulation and insincerity. In most cases they succeed, but sooner or later the results come ... and dramas. Not everyone is like that. Of course, there are gorgeous people, there are also successful relationships that are based on full and completely justified trust. I have admired such wonderful examples. Like you, I think that in order for someone to disappear for weeks, they are either confused (or hiding something you should not see, especially if they are completely at odds with the image in which they present themselves). Like you, I think if you're in a state of depression or confused, scared ... whatever - you can always call. You can always calm the person who cares about you and worries about you. Elementary culture even requires you to return a call as soon as possible or within a day. Even to an unknown number we return a call, how much more to an acquaintance, friend or partner ... The fact that I am ill or sick or depressed does not in any way excuse me to hide. Hiding has a reason and it is usually the most obvious and logical ... ... To number 2 Thank you! ... To number 3 Good question. I have not allowed myself to be liked and loved in this way until now. I did not give hope to anyone because I was married. I don't like to make people expect something and hope if I can't and shouldn't give it to them. I did not lie and hurt a woman, I did not even allow her to think of flirting, let alone expecting attention from me as a man. ... To number 4 Dude, thank you for the kind words. I do not see for myself how I would be happy or satisfied with something like that. However, you are right that it is happening. I don't brag, but it happens to me ... It doesn't make me happy, on the contrary - it makes me sad. A few years ago, I got a call from a woman we were dating in high school. I don't know how and where she found my phone. I hadn't seen or heard her since '92 ... he wanted to see me. She got married in 3 days until I found out, and I loved her ... I hung up. There was nothing to say. I was shocked and sad. Another sad story: As a student I loved a girl very much, we rarely saw each other, summer vacations. We kept in touch for years with letters, etc. She was accepted to Sofia University in the capital to study, I to the barracks. We wrote to each other regularly. He kept in touch with all kinds of artists, musicians, professors ... Muffin of "intellectual" type. Not a classic muffin that is lazy and looks to hang on someone's neck, but the other type - who is smart, hardworking, gifted and seeks the attention of strong people, to open the door to success. (This type of muffins are more acceptable because they are really very capable and when they get a position they do their job well) Yes, but the muffin is a muffin. He loved me. He was dying for me, but he told me that one naked love doesn't work ... He did not break my heart because he did not give me hope. On the contrary, she broke her heart because she loved me, but she didn't give herself a chance ... When my first child was born, she came to us, took the baby from my wife in her arms and cried ... she told my wife. "This baby had to be mine" ... Does that make me happy? I'm not happy, my friend. Makes me sad. The people who treated me badly cried, my friend, but that didn't bring me joy ... Yes, maybe some consolation that I'm in their hearts, that they thought well of me over the years ... That's me it was the reward of being remembered for good, not bitterness or disgust. You are absolutely right that help is given when you are asked for it. ... To number 5 I'm sorry, but I don't understand you. I don't understand what insincerity and nonsense you are talking about. I always speak directly, directly and frankly. I'm not leaving anyone that he did not understand me clearly and precisely. I have not done anything? What was I supposed to do? He told me clearly and precisely - "Leave me alone! "Those were her last words to me. What do you think I should have done? Do I just have to do something? You are not in my heart to see - love or not. I can love, but in a relationship you need two ... when one runs away ... I really don't understand what you want to tell me. Forgive me. ... To number 6 Thank you for your opinion. I have no problem with my sexuality. I don't care about feminism. I'm interested in people. Real people who think, cry, laugh ... feel. ... To number 7 It's a little hard for me to understand you, I'm sorry. Thank you for your kindness, to appreciate life and health. Thank you. ... To number 8 Thanks for sharing what you think about my story. Your guess is ruthlessly close to how things look from the side. In the end, even if it's so accurate, obviously so as not to disappoint me, he cut me off ... It's a pity if you're right. I admit that I really want you to be wrong, but from the side it looks like that. Usually things are as they seem ... with rare exceptions that are so rare that ... Thank you. ... To number 9 Thank you most sincerely for the good wishes. I'm glad you are happy. Everyone deserves happiness and love. Without them, the world and life are illogical .... ... To number 10 Thank you for the thoughts you have made reading my story. Successful comparison with the legend. I don't want to create Galatea. I just met a wonderful woman who told me that she was everything I liked during very long and frank conversations ... but the actions differ from the words .... Maybe you're right, that I am devastated from within .... I really don't know if I already have anything to give to someone ... I promise I will think a lot about it ... Thank you for your point of view. ... Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my story. Thanks also to those who took the trouble to write an opinion and advice. I really didn't know what I was imagining, that I even came to share ... Is there a need? I have no idea. Thank you again. I wish you happiness and success. that I even got to share ... Do you need any? I have no idea. Thank you again. I wish you happiness and success. that I even got to share ... Do you need any? I have no idea. Thank you again. I wish you happiness and success.

   A very real story very strong. And I'm from Sofia and I have an idea what kind of muffins with ego there are in the sky. You get the best, the sweetest until you achieve your goals .... The girl you saw after the breakup with women, in your words, seems to me very backward and secretive. She hid a lot of things and I think she sought solace in you (from a broken heart or a broken relationship) only until she got to her feet. It's not nice to use a man only for temporary use and then say goodbye to him. Either you go with a man for a serious relationship or don't start anything, don't break his heart one more time (everything has a way to come back to you) Otherwise if this site was not anonymous many truths would not be shared and many sick topics would not be discussed here. Here everyone has the comfort of not knowing who is to write what he thinks without worrying. I also have my long (interesting) touching story but I don't want to share it with readers for now. There are different human destinies in this world. R.

   The author Thank you all for everything ... I have visited this site several times before writing my story. I haven't counted them, but maybe a dozen times in a few years. Here, out of curiosity. It was interesting to read some stories, to see how a person thinks, how he thinks about the episodes of his life. How he expresses his emotions from pain or joy, seeks sympathy, advice, support from complete strangers. Many things are commented here, the whole palette from sublimity, romance, nobility to vulgarity, baseness, malice ... Thoughts of all kinds, people with all the richness of human thinking, feelings, worldview ... All kinds of people come in, some just to read, others to pour out their feelings. Some are sincere, others not or not at all, others openly lie or invent ... Everyone with their needs. I honestly don't know why I wrote my story. Maybe out of grief, disappointment, maybe out of some useless hope to please strangers and ask for their sympathy and sympathy ... Or a secret hope that the woman I love will read my story sometime in a hundred years, will love me and she will return to me touched by my love ... Yesterday I talked to an acquaintance. He has no idea about my emotional state. He told me that I was naive to obscenity without any sense of self-preservation. He sympathized with me, accusing me of not having any connection to real life ... He told me to be like who you are and who you are ... successful people. Before that he criticized and insulted them ... I'm tired. I asked him if I was like them and did the same things, would he talk to me all day (he couldn't get away to leave for 5-6 hours). Then he thought. He told me - "I would not respect you, I would despise you, but you would be fine because you are a good person ..." I asked him if I did these things that irritated him in others, would I remain a good person ... He was confused. He understood and replied, "I said these things because I sympathize with you. It's not like you fuck his mother. But I want you to be well because you deserve it. I asked him if he would forgive me if I became like those he despises. He said, "No, but you will be fine." I asked him if the "mistakes" I had made out of kindness were forgivable. He was adamant - "No ... Because ..." In the end he was completely confused. To him, I was a naive fool, not adapting to the world, but he could not detach himself from me. He wanted to talk, he enjoyed being together ... He didn't want to talk to those he despised, but he admired that they were successful ... Everything has a price. If you can't pay - it's not for you, if you can and want to - pay, if you pay - don't complain that it turned out to be expensive ... Goodness does not bring happiness, but loneliness. People rarely forgive the one who raised them when they fell, who wiped the tears from their eyes ... When they get up they feel humiliated and inflict wounds ... Are you ready to pay? Pay if you have a hard time. This conversation with the man in question made me think, exhausted me. He felt charged, it took me almost all day, he felt good. He poured out his grief and left relieved. I fell into an internal dialogue. For the price of the invaluable ... Pragmatism is trying to break through here as well, but will it ever work out? People want love, at any cost, if not - pay. You want sex - you pay and you get. You want a beautiful woman - you pay and she begins to "love" you. Everyone is happy. Success is possible if you are solvent. Don't you have a lot of money - so you are an unsuccessful, unadaptable outsider ... But what did I gain that this acquaintance of mine has been occupying me all day? He needed me. I gave him my time, my energy ... Nothing material. He needed to talk. Win. I gave him what he needs, he respects me for getting my attention. Then he accused me of not being successful ... According to his ideas of success. Supposedly rich in positions, etc ... Then he realized that he would probably not like it if I started to become "successful" because he would lose the opportunity to seek solace from the "fool" ... It is not easy. It is not easy to be good. Everyone wants to deal with good people, especially when they are in need. They make fun of me, but when they are bad, they look for me ... What can I tell them? To send them to those who despise evil, but do they admire them inwardly at the same time that they are successful? A good man does good because he is. If he "gets tired" of being good, then he pretends to be interesting and expects to be applauded. If he suffers that they do not appreciate his kindness, then he receives his reward. The reward of those who pretend to be good is frustration, despair and depression. I was like that. For 8-9 years I was depressed, even on medication. Because I was bad and pretended to be good, then I really wanted to be good, but I expected the recognition and admiration of others ... then I received my "salary" with depression and still came out of it completely, I'm not on medication for three years .. I started learning how to be good. How can I do good and not allow those who have received it to "repay" me for it. It turned out to be a whole science ... pure art. I like it. This was my "business". There is no money, no luxury ... and all the attributes of the modern understanding of success ... But even with all the money in the world, you can't buy the peace and pleasure of it - to be good. Of course, if you learn, it turns out it's not for everyone. There are naturally good people, there are intuitively good people, there are incidentally good people, there are lay people who get tired of being good, former good people ... future (unconsciously) good ones ... But the best for me are the “professionally” good people who are necessarily went through catharsis ... Which were all sorts ... Like me. Those who think, improve and most importantly - to learn to "hide" ... Naturally, I paid an old mistake. I paid a penny. I divorced a woman who was not supposed to be my wife. I made a mistake in the beginning. There was no way we could have a future. I artificially supported this marriage for the sake of the children, to grow up, they are not to blame for my mistakes. I finally accepted my wife's wish. We were completely incompatible. She did not understand my will to be good. He didn't see the benefit, the profit, the benefit ... He hated me. He was disgusted with me. She had dreams that I did not share and could not give her. She didn't want her to be with me for myself, but to be together to make her dreams come true ... at all costs. I had to. I paid for this mistake. I'm clean now. I did not fulfill her dreams, but I did not leave them without the necessary. Maybe they will appreciate it, maybe not. It doesn't matter anymore. I started a new life for me. After all, a relationship of over 20 years is over ... I wanted to start fresh. I wanted to be with someone who went through the meat grinder ... I met such a woman. I met her for half a year. I fell in love with her instantly. Beautiful with a particularly emphasized attractiveness and femininity ... intelligent, intuitive, educated. But mostly she suffered. I thought she was going through a catharsis, that she had fundamentally changed her worldview. What she had been through had to change her forever. She had been through hell. She had ended a long relationship with a person with opportunities. She had shown valor, to deprive herself of luxury and comfort in order to preserve her dignity ... She had been left with nothing to do right. That fascinates me. That's why I believed her and thought he was my man ... I always think a lot before I do something. I try to anticipate my mistakes. I rarely make mistakes, but this time ... I don't know where I went wrong. For half a year I hid my feelings from her and focused only on the problems and, to calm her down, to regain her self-confidence ... I got to know her. I wanted to meet her before I revealed my feelings to her ... She also liked me as a man, he was looking for me. These things are felt. I spent a lot of time and attention on it, I think I managed to restore it to a great extent. The very fact that she was looking for me was indicative that I was influencing her well. She needed to make sure she did the right thing to shake off her guilt and move on ... I liked her. He knew I was married and he didn't dare show it to me. Over time, when I had already decided to end my marriage and tell my wife that I already agreed to the long-sought divorce, I invited her. At the beginning of the year, on his birthday. I gave a clear announcement. It was a meeting as a man and a woman. The day was chosen deliberately, to understand. Which family man officially invites a woman to a restaurant on his birthday? I started to reveal myself to her ... She showed interest. Then she thought I was misleading her and I wanted to make her just a mistress ... She had been in that role for years and was horrified by such a scenario. He began to doubt me if I was being honest. I made a great effort to convince her that I had serious intentions. I had decided that I would move out a long time ago, she was never the reason for my divorce. She called me a half-experienced skier, who took stars from the sky ... It was difficult for me, it's quite difficult, and annoying when you are honest that they impose back thoughts and intentions on you ... She told me that she listened to the same sweet tales that the previous one and a partner also quite skillfully managed to lie and manipulate her. It annoyed me that he compared me to him ... I had nothing to do with this man. We may have spoken the same, but I did not act like him, I did not cause the devastation he caused her. After all, I was repairing everything he had destroyed ... And what kind of seducer could I be? I was not with another woman except mine until 6 years ago, when we stopped sharing the marriage bed ... I had forgotten what it was like to be a man, I had reached complete impotence ... I have not changed my principles ... No one I don't believe it, if I share it with my relatives they laugh and look at me with disbelief that I pretend to be interesting ... Everyone measures with their measures and according to themselves. My grandmother used to say: “A liar sees only liars around him and does not trust anyone. The thief and the swindler see only thieves and swindlers and think that everyone is like them. The whore thinks all women are whores and they do the same. The killer constantly looks around and thinks that everyone is a threat because knowing what he is doing to others, he is afraid of getting into the situation of his victims, and he clearly knows how bad it is there ... "Unfortunately, even a sincere person can fall victim to his sincerity. Here I saw a lot of stories in which injured and shocked people share with great bitterness how they used them and how they took advantage of them. Some just rinse their grief in search of sympathy or advice, others get angry and say that they will become bad and get back for the pain they caused them ... Everyone wonders where he went wrong, what he didn't look after and why it didn't work out .. Pain. These lessons change us. These lessons make us what we really are. Some go wild, others become cynical, others collapse irreparably, others go crazy or fall into severe depression, drug addiction, alcoholism, others die of grief or get sick, others even commit suicide, others become thick-skinned non-puppies ... but some go out stronger, more confident and better ... Everyone says to themselves inwardly: "Once I get out of this state and ... I will do what you are ..." But it doesn't always happen that way, we go out and instead of what we are, we do the exact opposite ... Who can to get into someone's head? One can change one's mind five times ... It's hard to get back for sincerity - causeless pain. Then to analyze and think, to waste a sum of your life in tears, bitterness and unhappy thoughts, to doubt your own judgment, to doubt your own normalcy, if you will ... You can't predict everything. Everyone finds their master. Everyone makes mistakes and makes mistakes. This is a part of life. It's easy to say, but you made a mistake because you fell in love, but you made a mistake because you believed, but you made a mistake because you gave ... This is madness ... Is life possible without loving, believing, without giving? !! They will object to you again, but it is done, but with the right person ... Who is the right person? Does love ask anyone? But you violate the norms and rules ... Norms and rules are useful, but sometimes they are insignificant and inapplicable. After all, they are for reference, not to enslave. Every human being has the right to love and be loved, everyone has the right to be happy, to crave caress, a smile, a hug ... sincerity. Is it that much? Is it so unattainable? We talked to my girlfriend ... What ... for hours. We were on the phone for 2-3-4 hours. Thousands of topics, thousands of things ... Our meetings were very beautiful, full of tenderness ... He was suffocating in me like a kitten looking for caress, security, love ... I had no idea that he didn't want me ... with nothing. Yes, he sometimes said some things that bothered me, but the overall mood was great ... That's why it hurts. Because he didn't tell me why. Because I got into thousands of thoughts and assumptions ... And even if she had told me what a benefit ... I don't want to bore you anymore. Probably from the side, someone would say - Aman from this one. It's a psyche. A big roar is a big thing ... And he'll be right. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. Because I got into thousands of thoughts and assumptions ... And even if she had told me what a benefit ... I don't want to bore you anymore. Probably from the side, someone would say - Aman from this one. It's a psyche. A big roar is a big thing ... And he'll be right. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. Because I got into thousands of thoughts and assumptions ... And even if she had told me what a benefit ... I don't want to bore you anymore. Probably from the side, someone would say - Aman from this one. It's a psyche. A big roar is a big thing ... And he'll be right. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. I don't want to bore you anymore. Probably from the side, someone would say - Aman from this one. It's a psyche. A big roar is a big thing ... And he'll be right. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. I don't want to bore you anymore. Probably from the side, someone would say - Aman from this one. It's a psyche. A big roar is a big thing ... And he'll be right. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. I can't stand it anymore. I apologize for overwhelming you with my nonsense. I no longer see the point in entering this site. I thought it would distract me and make me feel better. Yes, maybe a little, but I need to get back into the hole I came out of in the hope that I would be happy. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell. This is a lesson. There is nothing accidental. Now I have to interpret what he has to teach me. I admit that I do not see the lesson at the moment. You need time. Goodbye friends. Be happy. With all my heart I wish everyone to find what I failed to do - Love, Love and Happiness. Farewell.

   Your last comment is wonderful. And I was wondering if something would change as I went through catharsis. Well, it doesn't change, obviously the catharsis was fake. I was mistaken. I also want to know what it is like to be a new and reborn person despite the pain and fears, and I want to embrace my new self and forgive the old one, which only brought me pain ... It doesn't work ...

   I said goodbye ... But I'm going in again to read. Apparently loneliness makes me helpless and ... stupid. Apparently I need time to find strength and get out of this lake of sighs here. I thought it relieved my pain by reading the disappointment stories, but that's not true. It also takes time. 13 and 16 I do not know what to tell you. There is no recipe, everyone finds a way to move out. 16. My catharsis was ... strong. I did bad things and suffered badly. I was going to go to prison for helping an acquaintance defend his honor and his family ... Thankfully, he betrayed me very ugly ... I don't want to go into details, but everything that happened was wonderful and unimaginable. I was betrayed by everyone ... that was exactly 22 years ago, exactly half of my life until now ... Obviously there is a certain cycle in our lives that happens then, when something is wrong and something needs to change. I know ... Then I looked. I saw the picture of life clearly. Just as no one could show or explain it to me. I saw all my mistakes, all my delusions ... I was horrified by the blindness and stupidity that I had allowed to lead me ... You have not gone through catharsis. I tell you clearly and precisely. You just fall and get up. Then you do the same thing again and again ... After catharsis there is no new self to embrace or old to forget ... You are the same again. You don't say goodbye to yourself to meet again ... You just see clearly as in the palm of your hand - Who are you and what prevented you from being yourself ... Do you understand me? You find the strength to forgive yourself, you are not overwhelmed by old memories and addictions ... Do you understand? Addictions! Those irresistible chains that stifle our whole will to do the right things. Memories do not paralyze you in numbing fear and shame. You stop being ashamed and look with courage and strength over everything that has disfigured you ... You feel complete control over your destiny and you control that key moment when you have the word ... you have a choice, you are significant, something depends on you ... You are not in the centrifuge of circumstances in which you can barely react to the hail of events and lose your identity ... You are alone. Calm down. You see everything down to the smallest detail ... Emotions do not control you, they are submissive and they listen obediently. You are strong. It's as if you just woke up from a disgusting nightmare in which you were humiliated ... you wake up. It's morning. You get up and the day is wonderful. Morning, aroma of coffee, cheerful voice tells you to come, that breakfast is ready ... You are cheerful and strong, someone loves you and takes care of you ... he calls you. You love, you want to protect this, you are sure that you can - No shame, no fear. The nightmare is forgotten, humiliated. You have changed places ... The pancake has turned ... Now you are not trembling, but every malice that has humiliated you ... Winner! A silent victory ... A triumph that you share only with your heart and mind ... You don't need an audience. The whole moment is only yours. You feel whole. You know it's not a scam because it's the first time you've crushed it ... completely. This moment is holy. Birthday. You are born again. You are the same, but the memories tremble at your will ... like a dog with broken teeth, which terrified you, but is now pathetic ... Words ... How weak and insignificant you are sometimes ... Catharsis is the only thing in this world and this life in which you are sure ... You are more sure of catharsis even than your own existence ... Because only through it you understand that you really exist, that you are significant, important, that you have the word, the will to experience real joy, to work, to create ... Not because you have to or because someone drives you or you have to ... But because you want it, but you do it with such ease and pleasure as if you are breathing ... and with full breasts with a freedom that no one can take away from you ... You are strong. You win, things just happen ... You are a complete winner. Of course it is a gift. You must be worthy of this gift. This is not something you can challenge when it occurs to you ... You have to be dignified and honest. Even if you make mistakes and sink recklessly, stock up. Be honest, act according to your conscience ... Love justice, don't look at others who do bad things, have mercy, don't disfigure yourself, be faithful to the people you care about, don't betray them for your own pleasure ... Who knows? You can be honored with this gift ... There are moments when everything depends on you ... Do you understand how important you are? Do you realize it? When you don't miss the moment ... Then you go through catharsis. But for this moment you work for years. As an athlete who for years sweated in hard training to reap the victory of the competition. Each of us accumulates stocks in our lives. Collect them. These stocks help or hinder us. Stocks are our actions. Our actions. Everything we do when we have a choice. There is no option to do filth and abominations and do everything well. The blow of reason comes. Catharsis comes if you accept this blow as something that has justly befallen you, if you have realized why it has struck you ... If you do not realize ... You will only suffer because you are bad, you will cry, but for the lost pleasure. .. Tears shed for the fact that our destiny has stopped having fun ... These are fake tears. You keep looking for a way to return to your old slavery. There is no change in you, only sorrow for the lost pleasure ... Even when you recover, you will start looking for it again ... Being deluded that this is your new self ... As you lick wounds, you will only think what you did wrong that you have lost your fun and you will swear that next time you will cling to it so strongly, you will keep it so masterfully that you will not allow yourself to lose it ... That is why you have not gone through catharsis ... Because the blows of life you do not accept it as an opportunity to get rid of your delusions, but as something that has destroyed your pleasure ... Time. Take time. Some have enough and succeed, others never have enough ... nothing and never ... sorry ... you will start looking for him again ... Deceiving yourself that this is your new self ... As you lick your wounds, you will only think about what you did wrong, that you have lost your fun and you will vow that next time you will cling to it so strongly , you will keep it so masterfully that you will not allow yourself to lose it ... That is why you have not gone through catharsis ... Because you do not accept the blows of life as an opportunity to get rid of your delusions, but as something that has destroyed your pleasure. .. Time. Take time. Some have enough and succeed, others never have enough ... nothing and never ... sorry ... you will start looking for him again ... Deceiving yourself that this is your new self ... As you lick your wounds, you will only think about what you did wrong, that you have lost your fun and you will swear that next time you will cling to it so strongly , you will keep it so masterfully that you will not allow yourself to lose it ... That is why you did not go through catharsis ... Because you do not accept the blows of life as an opportunity to get rid of your delusions, but as something that has destroyed your pleasure. .. Time. Take time. Some have enough and succeed, others never have enough ... nothing and never ... sorry ... That is why you have not gone through catharsis ... Because you do not accept the blows of life as an opportunity to get rid of your delusions, but as something that has destroyed your pleasure ... Time. Take time. Some have enough and succeed, others never have enough ... nothing and never ... sorry ... That is why you have not gone through catharsis ... Because you do not accept the blows of life as an opportunity to get rid of your delusions, but as something that has destroyed your pleasure ... Time. Take time. Some have enough and succeed, others never have enough ... nothing and never ... sorry ...

   The author I do not stop grieving. I said I would disappear, I said goodbye, but it weighs on me, and I'm alone ... so lonely ... I couldn't stand it that day. I also wrote to Viber ... a long and sincere message. I put all my sincerity. Answer me. She wrote never to look for her again. Her heart told me I was a hypocrite and didn't want anything to do with me ... That was the reason. I am a hypocrite. He said he was glad it had nothing to do with me ... He had a birthday soon. I congratulated her. I used it as an occasion to greet her and see if she would want to talk ... I know she has a mental problem. Very unpleasant. I sympathize with her. He wrote me many angry and bad words. He finally ignores me. We never fought. We have never said bad words or angry words. She said she never wanted to be with me. She told me many times, but I did not understand from hints. She felt it from the beginning, that I was a hypocrite. She didn't want to have anything to do with me and she was very happy that she got rid of ... This is ... After such words, can there be hope? Is it possible that he is in a manic period of his illness and has no idea what he is saying ... I don't know. If he ever looks for me (I have hopes, albeit minimal), what should I do ... There are moments when there is nothing you can do. I leave it to fate to decide ... I have no strength left. I did my best. If he loves me, he will find me. I don't see what can be done anymore. I love her so much, but she said NO There are times when there is nothing you can do. I leave it to fate to decide ... I have no strength left. I did my best. If he loves me, he will find me. I don't see what can be done anymore. I love her so much, but she said NO There are times when there is nothing you can do. I leave it to fate to decide ... I have no strength left. I did my best. If he loves me, he will find me. I don't see what can be done anymore. I love her so much, but she said NO

   Author, I put myself in the place of the woman, you are obviously unpleasant to her and she does not want you to look for her - stop ...

   Author, you are a sensitive person, maybe it's time to start looking at things more coolly and remotely, not to become easily attached so as not to suffer.

   Author, I don't know if you will read it, but I also felt the need to write. You will not get better, but do not blame yourself! The sentence "Leave me alone" is painfully familiar to me and is imprinted in my mind! To this day, I hear my loved one say it out loud. First we were colleagues, after I left I explained to him in love. Just like your burn appeared and disappeared .... he claimed that he did not want to interfere with the personal with the professional .... then it turned out that although he was not married, he had a child. I did not understand this information from him! I wanted to clarify our relationship, but he, like your girlfriend, came out with the fact that he did not want to be rude, and I'm probably misinterpreting just his kind attitude .... At our last meeting before I told him anything he was obviously a clairvoyant and knew, only when he saw me he called out "