I Love And I Don't Have To

The Story

My long story, which weighs a lot. I hope to share it here, to get rid of at least part of the guilt and pain in me. I met a great and good boy 7 years ago, things quickly developed and we are now a family with 2 wonderful children. And since we didn't have much time to get to know each other in the beginning, it is now slowly coming out of our vast differences. He is very good, hardworking lovable serious, but has a great passion for computer games. He spent an awful lot of time in games and terribly ignored me and the kids. Over the past 5 years, this has been the main topic of our conversations. I'm trying to explain to him that we need his attention. Things improve for a day to two or a week and then return to the old. Four years ago, with your family friend, I began to share more with the thought that he would give me more advice on how to do the right thing because he is friends and knows him better. And imperceptibly I had fallen in love with him. In the attention, he draws me, in his calm voice, that for him I was important and always in the first place in front of everything at all times, in his warm look... In his soul. Realizing that I was in love with our friend, I felt terrible, I thought it was just crushed that I just got a little attention and I'm in a crush. I figured I'd fix the relationship with my husband, and that crush I'd forget. But alas, I did not succeed. I have been in love for four years and I suffer in solitude, because for my husband the most important thing is the game, and I blame myself for having felt the other way. I can't forget it and let it out of my mind. Sometimes I think he's not indifferent to me, and then I tell myself that's impossible. It's terribly painful, and I miss it every day. I don't know how it's possible to keep a person so long in your heart without even seeing it. Sometimes I think to tell him about my feelings and being rejected by him will make it easier for me to forget him, but I'm afraid of losing him as a friend. It hurts and I need a love that I don't get. If you know a magical way to forget and stop hurting, please tell me. And please don't blame me enough I blame myself every day.

Last Updated
May 17, 2020