Yes, you have to tell him, he should know! It'il be a lot better than finding out for himself, and maybe your mother and I can get better somehow. Unfortunately, your father got into the role of pro-vader, and your mother selfishly does what she wants. Don't be like your mother!
Don't rush to action before you think about the consequences!
If you want to be a child with divorced parents very soon, tell him. And then how are you going to live with your mother, who you personally set up?
Unfortunately, a few women are like your mother - a man breaks his butt from work to give her a good life while she catches a lover in return.
One option is to pretend you don't know anything.
If you really think it's unfair for your mother to lie to your father like that, the smartest thing is to talk to your mother. Tell her what you saw and that if she stopped it, you'il forget what you saw right away, and no one will know anything. But if things go on, which you'il naturally notice, you'il tell your father. It's pure blackmail, but the only way to show your mother that she crossed all moral boundaries.
Dirty Daddy, 49
Don't interfere. When you grow up, you'il know why.
It's between them, don't interfere. Just because they're your parents doesn't mean they're not people with their own lives, the same goes for husbands - they're individuals. Infidelity is the wrong thing, your mother is (self-censor), but you can only learn from the good and bad qualities of your parents and be better than them. Don't judge them, don't interfere with them, they'il be fine, be sure.
It's not your life or your choice to tell anyone.
How do you know if your father doesn't have anything on the sidelines? You never know, do you... If you tell him, you'il be embarrassed, scandalous and unhappy in the family, and you'il break your father's heart. You don't want that, do you?
As for your relationship with your mother, they can also deteriorate after such a confession. Every member of the family should know their place, and as a child who is satisfied, it is wrong to pass on, as a crooked phone, compromising information between your parents.
Your mother is also a woman, I don't justify it, but everyone knows what he's doing and why he's doing something. This woman raised you, she's been watching over you, and it's not right to betray her trust.
Bury that information and stay out of it where it's none of your business.
For the record, I'il tell you that many years ago, when I was your age, I caught my father cheating, i.e. I found out about her, but I didn't tell anyone, not even him. How would I have broken my mother's heart, how would I have seen her suffer?
I kept the information to myself, over time things quieted down and so on. My father and mother have been married for 40 years, they've been through a lot, but they're as unmoved as a stone. I don't think we should tolerate infidelity in our lives, I'm also married, but if my daughter knew I had another example and gave me a lot of disappointment. And I also wouldn't want to know if my husband was going anywhere, because if I had known I would have had to decide whether to leave him or live with the bitterness, and I'm not sure I could leave him. At the same time, no one lives in such pain. Think about it and make the right decision in this situation.
I'd say he's very brazen about spending his money, and dating someone else, that she's doing it, she loves me...
First of all, when you grow up. never do what your mother does now.
Too bad. Your mother... I have no words can children witness such works. But don't say, you're going to ruin your father, he could be one of those fools who doesn't look for other people's caresses, his fool with a fool will collapse his whole world. You better keep what you know a secret. After all, it's better with a fake family than without one.
I think you should talk to your mother. Tell her you know what she's doing isn't right. Make her talk to your father and get this straight.
Hi! I'm a man, and I'il tell you how I want it and how I wanted it to be. Like your father, i've been working on a lot of work, to have a family of five. And my wife has a lover, our eldest son suspected (he was almost sure), but his mother denied it. So far, I've come to terms with infidelity, even though it's very hard for me. I know that the benefit of breaking up the family will only have those who will benefit from the fact that my wife will come out on the "free market", but even she will not be happy for long. Life goes on, but under strict rules, as I say, there is definitely a lack of that "freedom." The more accurate word was a large unsecured loan of trust.
And for my son, I warned him if he notices something again and doesn't tell me, I'il let him do it alone in life. And I have other kids besides him.
As you can see from previous writing and upcoming writing, the women who cheat tell you: - Don't interfere, it's none of your business! I'm going to repeat almost all of the cheating women giving you these "priceless" tips.
It's very likely that your father when he learns to feel like me. If you keep your mouth shut, then you both betray and lie.
I'm not saying straight to your father, but you can offer your mother a choice - she admits it to him or you. Be prepared to hear incredible excuses from your mother, and it's your father's fault.
Don't tell your father. Money isn't everything. Don't interfere because you'il be without a family. Your father's going to suffer, and your mom can get this guy on her own, and you're going to regret it. That's why you let your mother live her romance. Adults sometimes do things like that. You'il know when you grow up. Your father may have had adventures, too, but he hid from your mother so he wouldn't get mad and leave you without a family. And believe me, a happy marriage rests on just such fleeting flirtations. Shut up and stay out of it.
He's the one who's pushed us to explain- he's thinking about it.
It's unbearable to live a lie. Yes, it's the mujdu parents, but the girl is also part of the family. How can she live with this secret? To watch his mother give her a kiss when she comes home from the other guy? Tell your father. Truth and trust are at the heart of human relationships.
Tell your mother you know, and you're very afraid your father won't find out, because you're going to be without a family. Don't threaten her, you don't know what's wrong with her.
Take it easy, child! She's writing to your father.
Tell him. The man has a right to know. And you're small, and you don't have to keep things that kind of psyche in your mind. If something's bothering you, you have to tell your parents about this thing. They've taken responsibility for becoming parents, and you, as their child, shouldn't spare them anything. They're big people and they're going to be fine. And if it turns out number 15 is right, you're even going to create a cause for smiles for your entire family, what's better than that :) Come on, tell your dad today, sweet girl!
"12. He who has asked us to explain - he thinks about it. "
How do you get "smprinkish" units?
Tell me, what business do you have to mess with someone else's phones? What are you looking for in this chat? Do you want me to tell you a saying? "Curiosity killed the cat"
If there's such a thing, your father will know. Don't worry. That's very easy to detect. In the future, you'il find out with experience.
What kind of are you talking to the kid? To live, watching the same theater every day. Shut up and pretend? . . . . If it's not her fault, and she's charged with keeping such a thing a secret, well, you who don't know her at all, you start criticizing her family and herself. You've passed the blame on to her! What kind of people are you? Does no one realize that the girl has put her future in your hands and the talk you will give her will influence her thinking, her spichy, her future? !? Because she's a confused kid on the verge of life. If she's got to this site, show some sympathy, be a man, damn it!? Or you solve everything with such a swing because you are very experienced, infallible! Essential! Who are you to spit like that? Shame on you! The kid wants advice, and you're going to tear her to pieces!
I will no longer comment on this because I do not wish to make senseless disputes under the request of a person in need!
Girl, calm down. Whatever happens, remember, your parents love you very much. And at the end of the day, it won't be as terrible as they're trying to get you into the "omniscient" if they get divorced. The atmosphere becomes calmer, and they are both happy.. It's better than exhausting acting that doesn't help anyone, does it? I, for example, from very young together with my sister, live with our mother and her parents. It strives to
we can do everything she can. We're doing well overall. Our father, who in fact, father, I can't call because I never felt him like one, never loved her, cheated on her, put a bunch of problems on our heads. And it's still going on. I understand how you feel. I also wanted a "normal" family. But I got a lot more than that. Love. Dedication. Sacrifice. Care. It's not the father and mother who make the family, it's the support and the love. In all aspects. Luckily, your situation is completely different. You, sweet girl, have come across two loving parents who will give everything just to make you and your sister well. Whether they're together or not. Because when two people don't get along, it's better for them, and especially their children, to separate. Talk to your mother. I know how unfair all this seems to be to your father, but don't be hasty. Tell her about what you saw. Don't threaten her to tell. If that turns out to be the case, ask her why she's acting so unfairly on you. Talk to me. You're too old now. Whatever happens, whatever you decide, they will always love you. You come first for them.
Again, calm down. Don't pay attention to people. They don't know how you feel. It's easy to talk from the side. They've always talked and always will.
You're strong! Success! It's going to be okay!
To the people who told her not to interfere, how not to interfere, she suspects how the father betrayed his family, including her, but you didn't understand it. I'm the child of divorced parents and I know what it is
Children are very sensitive to this topic, because this is their holy-parents...
I advise you not to talk to your father in any way. Talking to your mother doesn't think it's a good option either. My advice is somehow to act anonymously in front of her, for example, using a foreign number to write to your mother an anonymous text message about her daughter knowing about infidelity and suffering very, very much. Your mother will have a choice- or to keep quiet, because she'll be guilty of talking about it and not sure if it's true or better cover up (alas. ). I've come to the conclusion - including on the basis of my experience - that if you don't come to the conclusion of how unnecessary and stupid it is to admit infidelity, there's no one to stop you. You just have to get to the level of not wanting it! Maybe you can make her think about it.
Your situation and your task are so complicated, I just don't know what to advise you. You can see that you get all sorts of advice, denying each other. It is very unfortunate that in Bulgaria people have become hypocrites, everyone is looking at their enjoyment and pleasure, let at least such confessions, like yours, make someone think, whether it should continue like this, on the way to hell. Don't do to anyone what you wouldn't want someone to do to you. The thwes of reality is that most often women change exactly to those men and fathers who work hardest, who are most diligent and with a sense of duty. But they should realize they're throwing mud in their face, with mud they'il never be able to wash. That's what they can't fathom, and such cheeky liars walk cocky and inflated, as if they've grabbed gentlemen by the trench coat, as if they were a big deal, whereas in reality they're nothing, air under pressure.
I think, as hard as it is to give advice in this terrible situation, that you have to tell your mother that you're ashamed of her, and that it's very hard to forgive her for what she's doing to your father and yourself. But try to be without a lot of nerves and no screaming, you have to control yourself, she's your mother. That's what I think is the right thing to do. If you can influence things, why choose the passive position completely and keep quiet, then keep it quiet, everyone can.
"To the people who told her not to interfere, how not to interfere, she suspects how the father betrayed his family, including her, but you did not understand it. I'm the child of divorced parents, and I know what it is.
How does the father betray the family? You haven't read/read or really have some amazing version, who's the victim and who the liar?
Hey, girl!
I've never been married, i've ever been cheated on, nor have I been in your position, but one thing I can tell you for sure: If you leave things just like that without taking anything, your conscience will thin you out, and your fragile childhood psyche will ruin. A lot of nerves and tough decisions are this for an eighth-grader. It seems to me the right thing to do is to talk to your mother and let her know that if she continues in the same vein, your father will understand the other very important thing - that if it comes to a divorce, you and your sister will be on your father's side. She needs to understand that she's risking not just her husband, but her whole family. That's the only way she'il come to her senses. You have to make her ashamed of you and find out how disappointed she has let you down.
Just because she's an eighth-grader and doesn't have to burden her psyche with such complex thoughts, she just has to tell her dad everything and the grown-ups get better as they can.
Up to 27 out of 26:
Surely the girl dies for fear of ruining her family on her own. That's why I suggested he get a little brains in his mother's head (it's not like he's beating himself up, but drive).
Someone had guessed that the mother would just start hiding more skillfully, but it's one thing to hide from a working man, it's another from him and from your child who knows.
To the author:
I'd even advise you to show her this topic that you've been fasting on and ask her which of the tips here to listen to. But in any case, you have to freak her out with something.
The best thing is for her to close her legs and stop this nonsense, because even if you keep quiet as a grave people have said that an stiletto in a bag does not stand and there is always a chance that dad will find out (often understood in a ridiculous way) and then you will regret not interfering.
Dear girl,
I was in the same situation as you when I was 12 or 13. It's very hard and crazy, and I'm sorry you have to go through this. Unfortunately, one receives such life lessons just when he thinks he is not ready, but this is not the case. Your parents are also human and they are wrong, you can learn from their mistakes, but don't interfere - it's a problem mainly of their relationship and it's best for you not to take sides. You can't and shouldn't be responsible for how their relationship will develop in the future.
I know everything about you is screaming that it would be hypocritical and totally wrong not to say. But you only know part of the picture... the whole picture is clear only to your parents. Things in life are rarely just white and black, it's a universal truth, and the more I live, the more I convince myself of it. Extreme opinions and positions are never the right life strategy, they are usually distinguished by recklessness, and therefore I advise you not to listen to the people who express them - here and anywhere else. It's important to be able to distinguish between good and evil, between right and wrong, but don't rush to judgment - it's probably one of the biggest and most valuable lessons I've learned.
When I found out, I didn't tell anyone - not to my mother or to my father at the time, and I don't regret it. My parents' relationship didn't go well for a while, and they eventually divorced. I mean, it wasn't about infidelity, it's usually a symptom.
That's one scenario... but there was another one. A friend's parents also had problems, including cheating - on both sides, but it turned out to be a period, they overcame it and have been together for more than 30 years.
So as you can see, life is patterned, and there are no perfect families. Even if you have girlfriends whose families look like that, they're not, i don't know. Everyone has problems, but it doesn't stop them from being happy, and there are a few real happy families. I wish you and yours would be like that one day!
H 30, how much did you write to justify infidelity? Explain to other children when a lie is bad and when noble. Basically, lying about women is a natural thing, but they were completely in their right to lie, and the other one was guilty. They usually cheat on good men, so it's highly unlikely that your advice will apply.
I don't know you, but I sincerely sympathize with you. I can only imagine what's up to you! But remember one of me, there's a reason for every thing! You should have found out now and that way! God gives no one a burden more than he can carry. You're just a kid, a curious kid, a big deal that you've been digging into your mother's phone or in your purse, and for example, who hasn't? In your case, that's how it was supposed to be. Now I think you're making a mistake to seek advice from the people on this site, most of them don't care about you and your family. They only seek to justify their own passions. And those who tell you your family is none of your business, ignore it! Being fed and dressed doesn't exhaust your parents' role. Their mutual relationships and the change they give you through them are no less important. Besides, I'm sure you can judge what's right and what's wrong much better than most of the grown-up here. Because the child's soul is cleaner and more casual. That's why you feel bad about your mother lying to your father. Don't listen to them who try to disguise cunning and cunning as wisdom, it's about getting right even when it's hurting you, and it's hard. And something very important – the consequences of a "crime" or "overheating" weigh and should weigh on the shoulders of the perpetrator, not the one who reveals it. Don't let anyone do the opposite. Whatever happens, it's not your fault! Otherwise, your parents' relationship with each other doesn't affect their love for you, but it affects your life and how you feel. I imagine how many scenarios and variations are happening now in your head, but don't make the mistake of making a decision based on hypotheses. You found out exactly as much as you had to do the right thing. Inaction will seem much easier to know, but do not be fooled, the right decisions are the more difficult. I can see from your questioning that you know what you have to do. I pray to God to give you strength, and know that whatever you do, don't let hate rule you, do it with love, and you'll do it the right way. The truth will make you free. It can be severe, it hurts, but it's like having a thorn under your skin - either you leave it and choose a dull pain for the rest of your life, or you pull it out, clench your teeth briefly until the sharp pain passes. Courage, dear, and God be with you!
Hello girl,
It's hard to give advice, especially if you've never been in a situation like this, and I'm not, and I wouldn't want to fall into a dead end like you.
But one thing I'm sure, there's nothing worse than inaction, if you're silent now, you're going to have to shut up many more times, if you decide to call later, they'il ask you why you're saying right now. Silence has never fixed things, on the contrary, deepens the problems, and if anything could be fixed it becomes irreparable.
I'm going to offer you a slightly less conventional solution to get out of the situation.
First make sure you have evidence so you don't get accused of lying - copy one of your mother's correspondence with the other guy, you don't have to copy everyone, it's enough to have black and white what you shared here.
Second, send an SMS to the guy and tell him (not your mother, not your father) that you know what he's writing with your mom, you can even decorate things and tell him that your dad seems to know, and you just want to protect them.
I'm almost 100% sure that the man will disappear instantly, i don't think she'il tell your mother, just cover up, and your mother will be in the dark about what happened. I may be mistaken, but that's how the wolf will be a sit, and the lamb whole. After a year or another, you'il see that the likes of your mother and your mother are not units, there's nothing my mother to say, but for the people I dare to say they're fearful, they can't be relied on for anything.
Act bravely and openly, you have nothing to lose, you can only earn the respect of your father and sister - that you have spooked the man you can already keep it a secret, you can be proud of your victory and in private.
33,
Your advice is pretty good... But in this way, the lady will "wonder" where the man disappeared and... he's going to find a new guy... and so to the end...
From personal experience, I know, bitter and nasty experience : The cards on the table and who's where it is. There's no point in "protecting" a family like this. This isn't a family anymore.
That's what I've been through. I've had two kids 22 years of marriage, and I've done everything for them... Turns out there were jerks...
I just left and it's over. There's no drama, no evidence, no one's to blame, and why so...
I moved out peacefully and quietly half a year ago, and I didn't traumatize either the children or their mother...
Family isn't just kids. Family is love and love between a man and a woman... If it works, okay. Everyone's happy, including the kids, if it doesn't work out - Who's where.
Betrayal is not forgiven. A woman can only give one thing to a man- her fidelity.
If for some reason he can't do it, the man has to go... The kids can handle it. That's the price. A lot of people just don't understand. They live with this pain and bitterness "for the sake of the children"...
No victim and no reason is to justify betrayal. I know, a lot of people won't agree with me and they're going to start explaining to me that children are a responsibility, that children will be traumatized by their parents' separation, etc.
Who's crooked, who's right, it doesn't matter. Everyone has their own logic and their reasons for doing something...
But dignity and honor are the only thing that is timeless. That's my understanding of things.
I have two children, a daughter of 19 and a son of 12.
Their mother, my ex-wife, did the same thing your mother did.
I left. I love my decibel, I miss them so much...
But they're fine. They won't wonder what they're going to eat or wear or where they're going to live... But besides father, I'm also a man. A man cannot and should not live in such a scam. You can't forget, you can't forgive yourself - you can't.
One day my children will understand, everyone has soul and dignity. There are no noble lies. There's no way to protect something that shouldn't be guarded. Everyone pays, sooner or later, we'il all pay for the weaknesses, lies, deceit and betrayals. No one is sinless, we all make mistakes.
But some people can't handle that. Yes, there are people who get used to it and live somehow... But others can't.
I get it. Don't ask me how. I didn't stalk or follow. I felt it... Inside, I knew it, so I decided to leave.
Of course, then I found out the details, but I don't care anymore...
I love my kids and they love me. We see you, we hear... They will always be my births.
At least I had a choice. I chose dignity, so I could only move on.
Everyone has a choice. Unfortunately, you have to do yours pretty early, and it's heavy. I can imagine how hard it is for you...
I miss you. I feel for you, but I can't give you advice, and I have no right.
I just misses you when I read your story... I was sick because I was in your dad's situation.
Sweet child. I wish you were strong...
34, I'm 33 - I'm sorry for what happened to you, and I don't wish it on anyone.
Maybe you're right that when one guy escapes, another will soon appear, but let's present to the child all possible scenarios, and it will only decide how to proceed.
I would offer another scenario that I personally don't like at all - the girl tells her dad, dad, and retires defending her dignity and honor. The children stay with their mother in the family home. But if he's bad, dad won't be there and won't be able to protect his children- that's the kind of cerra you like???
When you've started to be honest to the end, share what happens to your ex-wife and the children who have legally stayed with her. Didn't one of the kids who made the reason for your divorce move to live under the same roof as your kids and their mother? Your daughter is big, she can move out of a place or choose to live with you, but your son has no choice, he's going to have to endure what you've escaped from - is that fairer and more dignified?
We greats have to protect the little ones from hasty and emotional choices, we have to think at least a minute ahead of them, life is not only here and now, life lasts tomorrow, and after a year, and many more years.
I understand your insult and frustration, but you don't have to burden the child's psyche with your misfortunes - for us, the big ones have other themes, such as "Man with a child, is it such a problem?" or the analogous "Woman with a child, ...". Consider yourself invited to talk there.
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