I Have A Problem With My Family-related Experience.

you are wrong, time is a very important criterion in a relationship and in fact the only indicator of whether things are working out or not. Your friend is quite right not to rush, because apparently your relationship has only been months old (if you've known each other for a year). I'm very interested, but where are you in a hurry at just 20? Are you dreaming of a family idyll to replace your missing family, or are you just looking for your neck to hang on? Look at the facts: you started at 16-17 with your former friend, who didn't work out, and now you're pushing the current one. 1 child is not a stuffed toy, and such a decision is taken after serious consideration and a long relationship (it is not about 10 years, but a few months is frivolous). Do you have a job, a secure job, an income? Work on yourself, educate yourself, love each other and things will work out

Nowadays, these doubts are not only fear or underlive, but also a lack of faith in long-lasting relationships at all. Especially as you're in your 20s, it's the age at which most women "go wild" and go through a lot of men. Actually, for a family, it's a plus that you come from a simpler family and you don't have career memes. I think as a man of a similar age, you're one of the rare women who's good for starting a family these days. A man over 30 can very difficult to start a family with a woman over 30 for a number of reasons. Like the fact that a woman has gone through a lot of men, she's only looking for the money, there are huge demands, there's no emotional attraction, it's harder to have children, etc. In my opinion, if your husband is aware of all this, and that there is no way to arrange it better, the only thing that can stop him is that he is a pussy and/or does not want to take responsibility. A year is enough time, at least for plans, especially at this age, you can't wait too long... I'm going to tell you that our desire to make a family is getting more rational and selfish. You never meet a woman who's going to get serious, so I don't know how I'd really react if there was that choice in front of me. But you have to keep in mind that there may be a line that's crossed, and I don't think it's going to change anything yet. If he has doubts, tell you, but time in itself won't really change things...

I hope I don't offend you, but men and women who start pushing so early on for family and babies sound like desperate and obsessive creatures. I had such a friend who after 5 months together, began to tell me about marriage, gave me a ring (!! ) and in my refusal of such folly, he said that I myself would have asked to start a family very soon. You were right, I dumped him for someone else we're already driving with for a fourth year. It's repulsive, it makes you look insecure and a little crazy. Even if it isn't, that's the impression it leaves behind. My advice is not to bring this up anymore, it's humiliating. You're very young, you can afford to wait a few more years if you're not totally obsessed with this idea. Age doesn't matter, people in their 40s don't want children. You don't have the right to push him because it's a responsibility he's going to take. The kids haven't heard of potatoes that are just so we can get our scabies. "It's been a while, he's been living a fight"! Did you decide that and why? Do you even think these kids will have a full family with two understandable parents? I think you're moving from your personal selfishness to reproduction, and then it's what it's going to be. My mother thought of catching the last train, and op got pregnant with me. I don't know my father, he's gone too early, he raised me in a family with daily fights and beatings, but that's obviously not important, since she's already had a baby, right? You don't have these kids for nothing, hey...

Not "with whom", but "with whom"! And you have a problem with your friend, not your friend!

You're only 20. What's the hurry? Your friend is 33, he's seen a lot more than life and he's giving himself a clear idea of what a huge responsibility it is to be a parent. I understand that you always wanted to have a man and have the family you always dreamed of together, but if you hurry up and do it without being ready for it, there's a good chance things will end badly. Moreover, every couple is different that you know people who are married after 10 years of a relationship and only 1 year later have divorced at all does not mean that this is the rule, and in all the way it does. More importantly, how your relationship will develop, not what happened to the neighbors or a friend. So don't force things, because if you even get into bickering on this topic, it seems your friend is strongly opposed to your relationship growing into a marriage. So, what? You're going to give him an ultimatum? You're going to force him to propose to you, and then what? That would be the surest way to push him away from yourself. Isn't that the idea of a relationship? To respect and respect someone else's opinion, and not at all costs, to become just what one of them has in mind. If your friend wants marriage and children, he'il offer you to marry himself, but the more you force him and push him, the firmly he'il be his NO, and in the end you'il lose him. So be happy and enjoy what you have right now, because you have no idea how easy it is to repel a loved one with your insistments.

Honey, I'm two years older than you, and I was also having an affair with a man who's 10 years older than me. But it was the other way around, he wanted to, and I didn't! Eventually we split up...! Two years later, I only realize one thing! I'm grateful that I didn't make that mistake, now you may not realize, but the difference in your age FOR SURE will start to make an impact and someday you will regret it! You're too young to be a seed, believe me! Even if you feel ready, don't rush it, it might not be your man! Now you're 20 years old and you have the opportunity to wait and think and see how things turn out when you're 30 and you already have a child with it, it's too late!

Twenty years old, and so illiterate...

It doesn't work.

The biggest mistake of my life was that I persistently insisted on marrying my ex-husband. And we fought every time I raised the question. It was me - 28, he was 30 years old. Eventually I left him and started a relationship with someone else. However, when he found out about it, from a bruised commonness, he blossomed at home with an engagement ring. For a month we organized the wedding and hop, ready! Then the surprises began. The first was that he didn't want children. In order not to get a little pregnant, after the first few months as a "family", she stopped having sex with me. This lasted 10 years. He used to beat me. We slept in separate rooms. I didn't have my own money, my salary was transferred into his account, and he was giving me pocket money. I met my current husband and got divorced. Well, what can I tell you, author, when a man truly loves you, desires, is ready to do anything for you, he himself will most of all want to get married. He'il sleep on the doormat until he hears "Yes" from you. But he also needs time, at least, to organize his life so that he can secure his family. My husband also went through a divorce, changed his place, his job, started his own business, and it wasn't until the third year of our joint life that he officially offered me marriage, even though he madly loves me. My parents married in 1970. after a 6-month relationship, but then things stayed different. It's time for her to get married, relatives introduce her to a suitable candidate who is also married (who is married when is judged by age). The two go out twice to the theater and once to a restaurant, and if they like each other, a wedding follows, necessarily children (otherwise what people will say! ) and divorce is unthinkable, even if they prove absolutely incompatible as characters. You, author, say you don't go to discos and pubs. Well, maybe you should start walking! Not to roll drunk under the tables, but to feel the rhythm of modern life. We live much more dynamically today than our grandparents, we need much more flexibility, we have much more uncertainty. The standards of "good life" are quite different (will you make soap from soda and lard from the pig you raised? ) Covering these standards requires funds, they in turn - work, for the work it takes time, etc. So no one jumps through their head into the deep - for example, starting a family when they're not ready - because they know they're going to drown. I've seen a lot of drownings like that. And my personal experience, which I shared, speaks of the true folk wisdom "Force beauty does not work."