I Have A Fragile Ego (or Something)

The Story

This is probably my biggest problem. My ego is terribly fragile and this is a problem for my psyche. I can't stand gossip with me ... Gossip, not ridicule ... I don't know where this comes from, because I can safely say that I'm not a narcissist. Otherwise, I will give an example of what I am talking about, as I have never been on the explanations.
Let's say I'm talking to a relative of mine and he's joking about some stupid thing I've done before. In principle, there is nothing wrong, but I just explode and start insulting him. Fortunately, I never got to a fight and things like that, but insults are enough, unfortunately. Fortunately, I manage to refrain from outbursts with friends, but I respond passively with "salty gossip" (which I guess is not such a problem if I still have friends, but it still has its imprint on my psyche).
I think you understand that, but I will note it anyway - I am aware of what I am doing and I can look at myself from a third person. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing here. Anyway, even if I realize what I'm doing, it's like instinct or something, and it's hard to control when it comes up again, it causes stress, and it hurts the psyche, but you probably already understand that. I guess it's better to just pour it all out, but I can't risk losing my social life, can I? I hope you understand me, I have to hold back). Is there anyone in the forum who can give me advice on how to deal with this problem?

Last Updated
June 26, 2020
Author:
brisman88

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