I Have A Boyfriend I Love, But I Still Have Feelings To My Ex!

First, I emphasize that it is not on a sexual basis my desire towards the ex - with the current sex is so good, that he is better, because he cares more about my desires, and none of the three are such a maniac. Don't think my ex was a bad boy or anything. At the end, it was really disgusting, but that's why we broke up, otherwise it was great at first. So I'm just going to get to the point. I had a boyfriend for three years. First love, very trepidation. We were inseparable, we've been living together for the last year, say-speeches. But I don't know if we suffocated, from the fact that we were first, at one point he started to annoy me and behaved disgustingly. He kept criticizing me, remarking and moaning. We got to the point where I played video or computer games (yes, I'm a girl and I do it) because I'm sick of being humiliated every day for and I stopped covering it, he didn't want the romance and sex I was offering him anyway. He wanted to pour his negative energy on me, and in the end I just asked him if he wanted to break up and he said yes. That's the last few months. Otherwise, at first it was a relationship like in the movies - it was passion, but romance, and understanding. We had a lot of minor arguments that we always made with love. But i guess a third person was involved in his abrupt change, I was certainly fed up with it, and I was as liberal as possible, I didn't get ugly, and even on the contrary, I was evolving. But we're only 21, then 20, and that's a serious relationship for 20-year-olds. In the time I was with him and then only he was in my eyes. My favorite actor to show me, I'il be blind to him, and I'm going to look for my boyfriend. I didn't look at it or write with other guys, i didn't care. I was cutting them like a chainsaw, only he mattered. He was supposed to be loyal to me, too, it just came down to a breakup. No hard feelings, but no strong ones. When the minuses of the relationship just prevailed. We broke up as good acquaintances, didn't even rub our phones and get out of the nets. In a joint company we have dated several times, but in general - not much, we kept the common friendships and so. We broke up April 2019 to mention. For a few months I met different guys, I had no relationship, I just got to know each other, and in the end, a boy and I fell in love. October officially became a couple. He's just an angel of heaven. He loves me more than I love him or I deserve. He's really taking care of me. There's no one minus. Even sometimes it pleases me too much and always insists on being mine. He's just a huge gentleman. I love him, but after my ex, something in me broke - I no longer believe in love. Plus, I still have some feelings for that fool. Yes, I love two men at the same time. Can this thing be there? For once a day, I think about my ex. But I love the present one, too. I was his first, he's a year younger, and he doesn't want to. to hurt him. I deliberately removed the profiles, photos, the belongings, all of the ex. But I still mean it. After all, it was three years of my life. What am I supposed to do? It weighs on my conscience. I don't see him at all. That's what I was thinking about when I was with the first one, I didn't think about anyone else, and now with this one I'm thinking about the first one. The reasons are not physical, but emotional. I don't get it.