I Get Attached Easily And Stay Hurt!

A year ago I met a boy. We became very good friends, but we were 10 years apart. It didn't matter to me, over time it stopped. I still miss it a little, but I had to forget it. He had been looking for true love for a long time, he was quite disappointed with women. He was successful and ambitious, looking only for his mate. We saw each other every day, no matter how busy he was, he called me and was interested in me. We had wonderful moments, for a moment I thought maybe I was what he was looking for. But the consequences were a broken friendship for a week. Then we stopped looking, we see and so on. He immediately replaced me with another, things ended so quickly that we didn't have sex, which I'm glad about. I trusted him, my biggest mistake, and he seemed to have been treating me for a year. Time passed, about 3-4 months, I didn't talk to him, I didn't greet him, I was just very offended and deeply hurt. After all this ... One day he came back, I forgave him, I didn't have the strength to push him away from me, I decided that we could be friends again. I hadn't stopped thinking about him, I was crying, I was dreaming about him ... I missed him and he knew it. I closed my eyes, I knew what he was coming back for. He just has to own everything and everyone. He can't stand being rejected and loves challenges. Only one had learned to turn it on its finger, and it wasn't me. I was too in love and naive. When he returned quickly, I stopped his enthusiasm. He returned to the girl in question. I'm glad she'll give it back to him from me. Everything comes back ... After that I met a liar again, and after I had training, I quickly recognized him and lost. I stopped seeing him too, I told myself that I would not deal with such men anymore. My principles, the system I am built on, have nothing to do with their obsession with owning everything. I didn't want more, I had no desire for more ... After I was disappointed I needed to get out of here and went to visit a good friend. I slept with him and spent my stay unique and unloading. I had never met a man like him, I knew him before, we hadn't seen each other much, but we've been in touch all the time since we met. Good, smart, sweet, fun and understanding boy, what more could you want. But the distance did not allow us to do that. After I visited him, everything changed, I needed feelings, I needed emotion. We were sick when we broke up. Things happen to us simply and inexplicably. After 2 days we met again and I stayed to sleep with him in his apartment. I won't go into details, but I had a great time and became attached. I felt good, for the first time in a long time. I'm real with him because I can trust him and I know he deserves it. Of course, there is no happy ending anywhere, and he had to go far away from me. We can't see each other now and we're friends, but I don't want to be just friends or friends with privileges. I don't want to scare him, press him or anything like that. But I've really been looking for a boy like him, and I feel like it could be him ... But I don't know how he feels. We hear each other every day, but it works. Yesterday we last heard each other, tonight I wrote him a message: a kiss, last time he was looking for me and that's why I wanted to show him that I think about him too. I don't want to press him, I don't want to lose him. I'm tired of new acquaintances, the same stories, the same end ...