A girl of 18. with a very difficult character, I have a problem with trust and it is very difficult to trust a person, it takes me a long time to be convinced that I can share something and rely on someone. When I was 16 I had a relationship, my first serious friend, we were together for 11 months. Everything was great in the beginning, then I started to get attached, at one point I already loved it. With him, I lost my virginity at the end of our relationship. We had sex 3 times, after our last sexual intercourse about 3, 4 days passed and he wanted to separate, explaining to me that he no longer had feelings for me. Here we come to the moment when I felt used. It was as if I was completely bored after giving myself to him. It took me a long time to recover from our separation. Two years have passed. Let me note that during these years different guys wrote to me and tried to have a relationship, but I was too much against it, as if I had built walls with the idea that no one would break them and hurt me. Here I was completely ready to embark on a new adventure. And here comes my next "love". My second friend in question and I worked for months, we went out, we wrote to each other. At one point I realized that I was starting to like him and I had temporarily stopped contacting him as well. I was honestly scared, I didn't want anyone to hurt me again, but the moment comes when you say to yourself "you can't protect yourself all your life, fuck it now is the time to experience different things, you're only 18". That's right. Everything happened again. I became attached to this boy during the flirtations and outings, then we left. We were together for a very short time - a month. And as I said, things happened again, you're just starting to have stronger feelings for someone, you make love (3 times, again) and he tells you "I think we're just not for each other, we're too different" and leaves. Short and clear. With him, however, we are still trying to "friendly relations" is guess who suffers in this case Yes me. Regarding sex, both of my ex-friends have told me that I am "quite experienced" and "obviously lucky." I don't know if the problem is in me, I get bored of them in some way or it's really just to have fun for a few times and goodbye. It is very difficult for me to allow someone to get to know me, to give myself completely to someone and I have the feeling that every boy is for one sleep. I believe that there is always someone right for me somewhere. And there are a lot of decent guys, but why do I trust the wrong ones. I just think that everything is going great and the person on the other side is just leaving. At the moment I feel used, empty, underestimated. I don't want to fall into various depressions, at 18 I want to go with the flow, but I can't. It's hard for me to find the right person. Or let him find me.
Answers 7
What do you expect to happen if you keep one of them? What is your plan for the next few years, say? Will you just stay boyfriends, will you have a family, what do you want?
Hi, sorry for the way you feel. I guess they're leaving because of your "difficult" character. They decide it's not worth the whole thing, take stock of "damage control", interrupt the losses and end the whole story. Usually people do not leave for good, but if you make things too difficult for them, too difficult, you keep your distance, you do not trust, you do not approach, there is no way they leave because there is no emotional intimacy, not physical. I know that many women are deluded and self-deprecating, that they understand men, and that for men it's all about sex, but it's not. Things are much more complicated.
You squeeze your legs as if there is some huge treasure there, and if you let someone touch it, it must be indebted to your grave. The boys saw that they didn't like having sex with you and naturally ended the relationship. Egati nightmare, to have a boyfriend with whom you do not fit in bed. That's why there is no point in waiting for months until you knock. What a waste of time and emotion just to find out you're not for each other. Grandpa Torbalan
Going with the flow and finding the right person are two opposite things. You can easily find the right person if this is really important to you - squeeze your knees as long as possible. Who is only for sex, in a month or two will play you, because he will see that you are a bony nut, and he is looking for the easy. Whoever cares about you will wait for you until you are ready in yourself. You just start a relationship with the thought that you won't let him go on the 3-4th meeting, that's it. Do other things. When you raise the issue, you explain that you do not feel ready, the time has not yet come, and so on, if you do not value yourself, you cannot expect that others will appreciate you. Today's girls have become very easy, they open their legs for good and bad and then why no one respects them. Well, you don't respect yourself, you offer yourself to every second boyfriend, to every second date, without building more feelings, emotional intimacy, nothing! You have sex to say hello to. By the time the right one arrives, you've already wasted no time. This also applies to boys, of course ...
When you sleep with someone, feelings appear. Don't ask why - I'm not an expert to explain it to you scientifically. And most men just want sex, and bye. Don't give up so easily, be together without sex and you will understand who is with you because of you, not because of your body. My apologies, slightly ignore the comments above. ;)
It is very bad when women decide that sexual intercourse is normal in a relationship. I am old-fashioned, and I think that sexual intercourse is for after marriage - as a reward for great weight, but also happiness. :) Otherwise, people bring in a whole station of other people dozing in their subconscious ... My advice is - IN NO EVENT more sexual intercourse before marriage! And to think who will. Thus, from connection to connection, one imperceptibly becomes a trifle. Take the risk of being left alone, suppress the fear that you "may lose" someone ... If he loves you, he should accept him. This is - short and clear ... and, I guess, very surprising for everyone. But our ancestors knew how to live in a pure relationship, not the current beast in which the woman becomes nothing of various infantiles and users.
It is very bad when women do not think that sexual intercourse is part of a relationship. Well, they - the connections on this are different from other types of relationships. On the mutual exclusive right of bodily contact. If it is not there, or it is not exclusive, then there is no connection. Also, sex is not a trade, it is not the price of marriage. Nor a price for anything else.