I Feel Unhappy

The Story
Hello, everyone! I am a woman of 30, with a husband and two daughters. My marriage is successful, my family is good, we are doing well. But I have been in a hole for 2.3 months, I feel lonely, not understood, not needed. I don't know if I'm depressed, but I'm not happy. I have agoraphobia from a very fragile childhood of 12.13 years. This state of panic, fear, unhappiness constantly accompanies me, for no apparent reason, I'm just unhappy. I want to be useful to my children and family and for a while I even stopped going out, communicating and I am in some isolation. I do not know how to get rid of this situation, I am currently unemployed and I have given myself home. Is this my mistake? Unconsciously or consciously I am subjected to isolation and this seems to calm me down, I feel safe, but on the other hand it ruins me because it can't ... I'm very relaxed, nothing touches me and it discourages me. I want a normal life, to go out calmly, to do my homework, to be useful to the children, and because of this phobia I don't go anywhere because I'm afraid to go out. When I go out I feel sick, I tremble, you feel dizzy and I have the feeling that I will die. This, of course, is only in my head that something very bad will happen to me, but I am afraid. I have been living with this phobia for 15 years, there are moments, years when I cope and feel very good, but there are also periods when I am at the bottom, like now. What to do, who to turn to. Please for any advice, I will be very, very grateful to you people. I want my life, I want to be well and be able to be useful to the people around me :(
Last Updated
June 27, 2020
Author:
aurora__

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