Hello, you're a 15-year-old boy. The story may be a little long, so thank you to the people who will read it to the end. At times, I feel pretty lonely. Most people don't want to communicate with me because they think I'm weird. I love science and I'm very interested in physics and philosophy. I don't like modern music very much, just because nowadays MOST songs don't make almost any sense behind them. I also have a different sense of humor than some people. Besides black humor, I'm also into comedians like George Carlin, who make a lot of sense behind their jokes and aren't just made to make people laugh. I have about 10 people I can call friends. All of them think I'm a complete idiot because I talk to them about science all the time. Honestly, I don't know why they call me an idiot when I talk about things like string theory (things they don't even want to bother to make sense of), but they make fun of me all the time. Also, when I want to meet someone new in most cases, I just get cut off directly. Quite often I go out on my own and just walk around or ride a bike alone, just because I don't want to get involved with my friends telling me again how stupid I am (in almost all of the cases they're joking and I know they're holding on to me, but it's just not cool to fuck with me all the time). At school, for the most part, I'm there too, because all my friends go out every recess or to the store or smoke. I smoke too, but I don't want to go out every recess because it means I'm going to be late for an hour, and I don't want to be late. I don't know why people reject me so much. I look normal, maybe that's it. Nowadays, everyone has to be either super "emo" and "depressed," or some kind of "hitman" who walks the bars, or some "beater" with a bare head and a purse around his neck. I feel like if you're not one of these, you're not human and no one will accept you as such. Just because I like science doesn't mean I'm some nerd who just sits in them and teaches (not that there's anything wrong with studying). I don't usually study at all and make about 4-5 for the year. In some ways, I'm better, some of them I'm worse off, and that's how I make some average success. The girls don't like me at all. I have familiar girls I talk to from time to time, but I'm just a friend to them. When I like a girl I know I don't have a chance, it's not dependent on whether we're in the same category or how much we have in common, they always like some of the bars or some "emo depressants." There was only one girl who showed any interest in me, but she suddenly stopped communicating with me and read my messages and I gave up (we only wrote recently, but she never explained to me why she stopped communicating with me and we went back to the old situation, for which I was stupid, but as she does not want to have anything to do with me, I have nothing to do). I don't know what my problem is. People don't want anything to do with me, and even my friends are fucking with me all the time. How do I fix it? What can I do to avoid being rejected so much? I could easily become one of those "depressants", so maybe I'll be liked by more people, but I'm not going to like myself because I want to be myself. What am I supposed to do?
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