I Feel Like I'm In Prison

The Story

I am a 26-year-old girl from a medium-sized city. I'm following more. My problem is that I want to find a friend (I've never had one before, I've never had sex), but my father, my aunt, my grandmother are against it. My father beats and abuses the whole family. If I find a friend, he'll beat me up and kick me out. He is of the opinion that studying and an intimate friend cannot be combined well. With everything he says, he sets me on the wave to stay an old girl, which is sad. My grandmother and aunt have been pushing me in my head all my life to beware of men, not to believe that they are bad and bring only trouble, that they can only get pregnant. My mother supports me, but she is a silent letter because my father beats her too. There are three reasons that stop me from daring to be with a man as a friend and intimate - my father, studying, the fear of a potential pregnancy. I know about protective equipment, birth control pills and condoms, but I am a very closed person, very scared. I had several meetings with men, but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. baby pills and condoms, but I myself am a very closed person, very scared. I had several meetings with men, but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. baby pills and condoms, but I myself am a very closed person, very scared. I had several meetings with men, but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. but I myself am a very closed person, very frightened. I had several meetings with men, but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. but I myself am a very closed person, very frightened. I had several meetings with men, but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. but during the meetings I wanted to run away, they were slow and difficult, I couldn't relax. I always remember my father hitting me as a child. I feel terribly depressed in my family. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. What to do? I feel like I'm in prison. My friends from the university are self-confident, they have a personal life ... I am like a bird in a cage. I want to fly, but I have my wings cut off. I feel like a fish on land, like a flower without water. I'm panting ... At home they just push me in my head to study, they don't care about anything else. It occurs to me that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice. that men and love are taboo, that they are not for me. And what about youth? Please advise me how to act? I am open to any opinions and advice.

Last Updated
October 18, 2020
Author:
annababby

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