I Don't Want To Live, I Want To Be Gone

Hello, I don't feel like living and I don't know what to do! I lost my mother 3 years ago and I don't feel like a close father, my mother was a very warm person and dedicated. My brother has a girlfriend and I don't expect him to be with me. I feel lonely and depressed, I don't feel like living and I want to die. I can't live like this, everyone of my kind is scattered around the country or abroad! In my hometown I am left with only my father and grandmother, who cannot stand it. I don't know what to do, when I'm there I feel like a homeless person and I don't like it, and I have nowhere to go, as I am trapped, I have no way out. I also had an argument with a girl I knew, who we became very close to in just two days, I don't know why. It's as if I've known her before, she showed an attitude towards me that I had never received, I'm not talking about falling in love, she has a boyfriend. But I can say that we had sympathy for each other. Until she teased me once, my curtain fell and I told her she was a light woman and a bunch of insulting things, I made her for 2 cents. Which I'm very sorry about, now she doesn't even want to see me, I even think I caused her problems with her boyfriend. She will probably never forgive me. You may not understand, but almost no girls paid any attention to me, and no one felt so close to him, I just can't describe it to you. I have no idea and I don't know why to move on, for what, I have no desire to live and I don't see the point, I just don't know. She will probably never forgive me. You may not understand, but almost no girls paid any attention to me, and no one felt so close to him, I just can't describe it to you. I have no idea and I don't know why to move on, for what, I have no desire to live and I don't see the point, I just don't know. She will probably never forgive me. You may not understand, but almost no girls paid any attention to me, and no one felt so close to him, I just can't describe it to you. I have no idea and I don't know why to move on, for what, I have no desire to live and I don't see the point, I just don't know.