I Don't Know What's Going On With Him ...

Hello! I have been liking a boy in my class for 3 years. In the beginning, when we met, he liked me too. We had something like an 'informal' relationship that we decided to keep a secret. But one day I dropped out in front of a girl in the class and that's how everyone understood ... He was angry with me, but over time this feeling grew .. We were 'together' for less than a month, and he wanted to separate, changing every time your excuses. He said he wasn't ready for a relationship, I made him see me very often, etc ... I really believed he liked me. After the class found out about us, they repeatedly tried to separate us with all sorts of nonsense. We had long conversations and quarrels ... There were so many 'scandals' for me that I thought we would not get along anymore .. Sometimes I act very impulsively ... I take care of him, I'm jealous of him and I hate myself for it, because I'm wrong, no matter how much I believe he still has feelings. After that separation, we no longer met formally or informally. The truth is that despite everything we remained very close, he was always by my side when I needed him. I couldn't say the same about myself, however .. No matter how strong my feelings are, I don't want to force myself on him too much, I feel uncomfortable ... Many times in his anger he told me that he didn't care about me, he did all out of pity and guilt ... And I can't say if that's true. It's time to add that we've been in an intimate relationship for almost a year, something like 'privileged friends' that I'm not proud of. We got close to sex, but it didn't work out because there are problems ... It doesn't matter tho. We recently got into an argument again and this topic got involved. We exchanged insults, he almost called me easy .. At one point he somehow softened and I told him that everything I did was of my own free will and he doesn't have to feel guilty about my feelings ... I don't know if it's right, but I thought so and it is a fact. I asked him if he cared about me, to which he replied with 'nz'. He is not a person who hides, so I accept 'nz' as hesitation, if he was 'no' he would say it directly. Besides, he is a person who would very easily leave without saying a word. This confuses me. According to the more experienced of you ... In general, how do you feel about this situation? Does it make sense to stay if there are no feelings? I guess this issue is specifically for men. Thanks for your attention. what I did was at my will and he doesn't have to feel guilty about my feelings ... I don't know if it's right, but I thought it was a fact. I asked him if he cared about me, to which he replied with 'nz'. He is not a person who hides, so I accept 'nz' as hesitation, if he was 'no' he would say it directly. Besides, he is a person who would very easily leave without saying a word. This confuses me. According to the more experienced of you ... In general, how do you feel about this situation? Does it make sense to stay if there are no feelings? I guess this issue is specifically for men. Thanks for your attention. what I did was at my will and he doesn't have to feel guilty about my feelings ... I don't know if it's right, but I thought it was a fact. I asked him if he cared about me, to which he replied with 'nz'. He is not a person who hides, so I accept 'nz' as hesitation, if he was 'no' he would say it directly. Besides, he is a person who would very easily leave without saying a word. This confuses me. According to the more experienced of you ... In general, how do you feel about this situation? Does it make sense to stay if there are no feelings? I guess this issue is specifically for men. Thanks for your attention. he wouldn't say it outright. Besides, he is a person who would very easily leave without saying a word. This confuses me. According to the more experienced of you ... In general, how do you feel about this situation? Does it make sense to stay if there are no feelings? I guess this issue is specifically for men. Thanks for your attention. he wouldn't say it outright. Besides, he is a person who would very easily leave without saying a word. This confuses me. According to the more experienced of you ... In general, how do you feel about this situation? Does it make sense to stay if there are no feelings? I guess this issue is specifically for men. Thanks for your attention.