I Don't Know How To Move Forward

   I was like that and I contacted him. He lost it very quickly and we met again. But I couldn't swallow the story of the other, and we broke up again. So think very carefully whether, if you talk to him, you will like what you will understand. If you have the strength, move on. It may be worn out, but only time will heal you, you will obviously need more. If you think it would be ok with him having another you can try contacting him and asking him if you have a chance. After all, you can't know if you try you don't lose anything

   I was in such a state for almost 2 years. But in the end I realized that I could not continue like this and decided to go out with men again. Fortunately, I only went out with one and that was enough. Why? Because it is true that a wedge kills a wedge. The only important thing is that the second wedge is better than the previous one. For example, for me the second was nicer, richer, with cooler sex and the first one just popped out of my head without even wanting it. But if the new one you're going out with isn't better, it won't work.

   Hi, it's like I wrote it. But one to one. That's exactly how I feel. I am a man of 43. I broke up with my wife and now it is empty. I go to bed thinking about her, I also dream about her. And when I wake up, my first thought is about her again. However, she continued her life with ease. She doesn't care at all, after so many years together. I can't recognize myself either. I shut myself in so much that it's scary. I don't talk to anyone, I barely get out of bed in the morning to go to work and so on day after day. I went out with a woman, great, beautiful, smart. During the meeting, I shared my grief because she asked me what was bothering me (obviously very obvious to me) and was there. Then neither I looked for her nor she looked for me (not that I have a desire). I was also a psychologist, but still nothing. The grief of lost love and family eats me up. I can't give you advice, which I regret. I can only inspire you. You are probably much younger than me and your life is yet to come. You will see that you will meet a person who will pull you out of this abyss into which you are now. I surrendered. And I let the pain and sorrow overwhelm me. True, only three months have passed for me, but I see no way out. Please don't make my mistake. Do not give up, but fight.

   Regarding the statement of No. 2: Then explain to me that women were not mercantile ...

   To give you advice, it is important to know why you broke up and how old are you?

   If you don't feel ready to be with another man at all, you wait some more ... as long as you have to - not to forget him, but just to need someone else's touch, and that always happens. Then it's much easier to forget because you have other memories to replace the ones you had. Brother.

   The man has continued his life, he has found another girlfriend and you are already a stranger to him. If the reason for splitting is in you, you got what you deserve. If it's in it, it's not worth thinking about at all. In both cases there is no hope for a new beginning and no right attempts in this regard, you will only cause yourself more pain. Find more meaningful pursuits than thinking about him and roaring.

   It's bad when you see your ex with another, but that's life, what to do. Wish him mentally to be alive, healthy, happy, to be lucky with this girl and so on. Like you, I was annoyed at first, but it doesn't make sense. And to separate, he will return to you, not because he loves you or he has sinned, but simply because he does not want to be alone, and as he has no one else, he is looking for you. I realized this as they were looking for me, to be a reserve. It is quite sobering to be a substitute. Whatever residual feelings I had died. I just wished him all the best, to meet his man and so on. Some relationships are simply not written and appear in our lives for a purpose, and when we no longer need them, they end. It remains a memory, but fades over time.

   Everyone moves forward, there are no irreplaceable and unique people. In time, you will wonder what you found in it, and why you cried and got angry.

   Because you are weak. Deep down you are weak ...

   Darling, you are currently living in a fantasy. You broke up and no longer have anything in common. You do not say what was the reason for the separation, but from what I have written, it seems to me that it has become normal and without heavy dramas. If you cared for each other so much and loved each other, you would be together. Now you are experiencing unrealistic fantasies. I'm telling you because I've been through this. You have to make an effort. Your mind, by inertia, remembers it, but you have to make an effort to do something different. To meet different people, to pursue new dreams and goals. More time may pass. It took me more than a year to forget any love, but everything is experienced.

   The first thing you have to do is try to get this man out of your head. Yes, it will be difficult, but it is not impossible, believe me. It's all over, over, you can't go back in time, even if you want to. This man has moved on with another woman and no longer remembers you, tell me why you have to suffer when he doesn't care at all? If he has forgotten you, do it too. But never, but never do to go out with another, thinking that this way you will stop thinking about him. This makes it even worse and only you suffer (again). Just let it flow, as soon as it happened and you broke up, that's how it should have been and it's for the better. So stop, just stop thinking about it. Why are you tormented? Think, does he care about you? Does he remember you? If the answer is NO, why should you do it? Life goes on - with or without it. I'm sure

   I have been in your situation, my conclusions are that the easiest way to forget is not to see the person and restrict any access to both of them. You exclude him from your life without looking at photos, etc. Tune in like that and you will forget it. It just takes time, it heals best, believe me. I was in a very difficult situation with my ex, with whom I was boyfriends at school, then we broke up and I had to see him every day, so it's the hardest, we tried to get together, but it didn't work out after we finished there was still some thrill of hope, romantic thoughts, etc., and then I blocked it everywhere, and it was as if my life flowed in such a way that it ceased to be a part of my thoughts, my ideals, even less my dreams. Now that I turn around, I think how I could have liked him at all, was I blind .. It often happens to me to dream of him, but I no longer love him and I would not be with him. So, be patient, all in good time.

   "For a number of reasons, we had to separate, but we maintained a friendly relationship and respect for each other. I dare say I'm not one of those people who is easily attached." - If you are difficult to attach, then you have judged the first and therefore was with him. But the most important thing you do not share, the reason for the separation, and it is the most important in this case. Not knowing the reason, what advice are you waiting for, do we know who is to blame for your separation? If the reason is in him, why do you want him so much, and if he is in you, what else do you want, leave the man with his new boyfriend. The worst thing about women is that you don't know what you're looking for, so you wander like lunatics!

   You women always say you truly love. What is this quality of yours that you saw yourself in it. If that's true, how did you break up? What are these a number of reasons for your separation. Abe, you keep a lot of things quiet. If you want advice, you must state all the reasons. You deliberately do not say the reasons for receiving more comments. You had great emotions towards him that you had never experienced before with other men. If the emotions were great, you saw yourself in him, then I judge that all the blame is on you for your separation. If he gives you a second chance, can you be the woman in whom he sees himself? that there will be no problems with you. And list the reasons for your separation.

   find another, the past does not return, as long as you have suffered for the former, it makes no sense

   I think you see your father in him and that's why you need his love, but it doesn't have to be that way. At least that was the case with me.

   Think about whether his new girlfriend replaces you and displaces you, or is he more with her because of you? My ex went like that with one, but it was absolutely clear to all our acquaintances that she was in front of me and I let her rejoice a little too, because I knew that as she brazenly positioned herself, so with just one glance I could he took it back to me and she hung up. Well, that's what happened, we're with him right now and I don't even have anything to forgive him for, but if you're not sure about your position with each other, there's no point in exposing yourself and torturing yourself. If you split up under the pretext of friends ", especially if he suggested, then it is already more than clear .. Otherwise number 16 is right, if you are more detailed and the advice will be more adequate.

   Thanks to everyone who commented. There are two reasons: Moving him to another city, which is no longer an obstacle and a difference in age (10 years). I'm 20.

   №20, both reasons are complete nonsense.

   I don't know if the author is still reading the topic, but I will leave a comment from the position of a man / 29. Three times in my life I have fallen in love very much. It was not shared with one woman, with the other 2 the relationships ended in a very nasty way and I suffered brutally. They left me for someone else with money, etc. What a person feels at such a moment is the most disgusting feeling in the world, and whoever has experienced it knows it, you know it too. To get in your car and look for the other one next to you, but not there, to go back the same way and remember how you went together and know that it will never happen again, to see her / him with another, to miss the kisses, etc. To realize that you had a chance to keep your relationship together, but because of stupidity you broke up. It hurts like hell, you cry, you pray with all your heart for the miracle to happen and nothing happens, the man is gone, he will not be, and you do not know whether you will ever meet him again. Love sucks, but I'll tell you what I learned from it: 1. Time certainly heals. (You need more). 2. It is much better to look for it and to cut you off and prolong your agony, which you have anyway, but to know that everything is over forever, than not to have tried and fought for your love. So grit your teeth and call him, don't write to him, call him with all your courage and heart and tell him everything and it can be a miracle. But remember: if you don't look for it, you will never understand. 3. It has to do with the 2nd: If he cuts you off, then keep your dignity and never look for it again, move forward with the deepest wounds that time will heal, you will meet another, you will be happy and you will remember the past days. and you will say to yourself: well, I tried,

   Forget him. No sense in telling you now - I don't wanna ruin the suprise. How do you imagine the future with him again?

   Both of the things you cite as reasons for me are frivolous. The reason, in my opinion, is one - just love was not so great, at least for one of you. It makes sense to be him when you are still suffering. I think it's a mistake to maintain a friendship, to keep seeing it, but in another capacity, you're causing yourself unnecessary pain. Accept the fact that he is already a thing of the past. When you say end, it must mean end, point, and so on. You throw it out of your life, along with all the photos, gifts, contacts, etc., you avoid any meetings, joint companies, etc. Otherwise, the past will constantly pull you back and you will suffer.

   I will not tell you that time heals after you complain of 9 months. It's been 10 years with me ... My only advice is to look for a new friend. Nevertheless. This is the only right solution. If you are lucky with the next one, you will very quickly realize that the previous one was not worth the torment at all.