Hello. I am an ordinary girl, 14 years old. Or so I think ... I live in a small town where everything is so boring and the same. I just decided to write this to say what's wrong with me. About four years ago, I met a pedophile on the Internet. I had problems with some nude photos that changed my life a hell of a lot. Thank God, these photos did not see the light of day. But they gave me some lessons ahead. Since then, I've started to fall in love with boys much older than me, even men. I am attracted to their bodies, their way of speaking, their manners.
Their looks and how they know what I need right now. Even their intellect attracts me. I meet them on the Internet, they know how old I am. Some of you will say that I was used and deceived by them, but I also had relationships that were so good. Time passed, I was getting bigger and bigger and here I am now. At 14, in a relationship with a man 19 years older than her. I'm confused. Where are my parents? They know nothing. They are both busy and working. My father comes home from time to time and argues with my mother. He drinks and that spoils their relationship. We manage somehow, when he is not there, everything is ok. I can't explain what's going on. I don't like boys my age. All my relationships with boys under 16 are the same.
We walk for a week or two. We are splitting up. Drama, pointless conversations. It's just that everyone is so stupid and clear. When I was younger, I took away my virginity while watching porn. I didn't even realize what I had done. Almost a year ago, I discovered that I was bisexual. I am attracted to women and men. Beauty ... I'm confused. The man I'm with now is also. It's hard for him. Sometimes his conscience catches him and it's normal, I know. I miss him very much. And for those who will think of me as another degradation with two tons of makeup, I can refute you.
I do not consider myself part of the table. My only flaw is that I learned to smoke three years ago and I never quit. How can I help myself? I just decided to tell someone what's wrong with me ... because there's no one anyway. Thanks for reading :)
1 julia_kiska answered
It struck me as an intelligent but very confused girl. Your family environment is bad, you feel misunderstood there, and you no longer feel the need to share with your parents, to understand and get to know you, because they do not know their own daughter - often unfortunate. You're not crazy that they attract older men, either. As banal as it sounds, you are looking for the father you miss, the parental shoulder and support in general. You want them to take care of you, to feel safe, you haven't felt like a child for a long time and your attraction to more mature men (and smoking) are part of your effort to convince yourself that you are not a child, you are not like your other peers and you deliberately avoid them - they don't understand you. You have to face this, you have to understand that everything starts from the family environment and from childhood - then we build ourselves as people, we shape our values and our understandings of life, of what is "normal" and "good." I would advise you to be careful in your relationships with more mature men, yes, some may use you. And why would they choose a 14-year-old girl as their partner instead of a settled one of their age? Even if you are mature, this still does not justify their behavior. They probably have serious complexes, they know that what they are doing is immoral, but they are doing it. What do they find in you that they do not find in more mature women? Not that age is decisive - some people remain infantile into adulthood. However - keep one thing in mind, because these probably have their serious problems and motives to choose a girl, not a woman for their partner, be it not only sexual. In short: 1. Analyze yourself according to the behavior of your parents, according to your contacts with them, be aware of everything "wrong" such as not paying attention to you, not understanding you, not trying to get in touch with you and talk seriously about the serious things in life. 2. Keep one thing in mind with these men. You are small, even if you are mature, do not throw away now the opportunities you have as a CHILD, because they will leave. You will be a mature person for most of your life and then you will realize how much you have missed. Success! - Edelweiss You will be a mature person for most of your life and then you will realize how much you have missed. Success! - Edelweiss You will be a mature person for most of your life and then you will realize how much you have missed. Success! - Edelweiss