Hello! For me the situation is very complicated and I have a lot of problems, it is difficult for me to cope alone, and my parents are psychopaths and disgusting people who I do not want to see, and they never really cared about me, but they play it in front of people , and my life and past are a complete nightmare and I have no friends or acquaintances. No support from anywhere. I know you won't understand me. It's just that if I start explaining to you, it will take a very long time. Everything is very complicated and difficult. I am not a teenager, I am 22 years old, and our years have been mentally harassing me because they know that I have no one. My father has not had a conversation with me for years, apart from the attempts I made to talk and the absurd insults I listened to, my mother is such a manipulator that I cannot describe what it is about. They keep me with them because of people's opinion, they hold only on him and their false image, and I am stopped by the fear in which they keep me and the guilt that is always instilled in me, of course, with their money. I can't eat normally, I lost a lot of weight and neglected my appearance. I have been isolated from the world for years. People don't know what's going on, and they both make things up just to hide. They ruined me mentally and I can't move anywhere. My little mother pretends to commit suicide when my father is gone and fills my head with nonsense. Until I scrolled completely. What's worse is that he, too, for years I lived in the delusion that she loves me, but she proved to me in all sorts of ways the exact opposite, but she doesn't stop with her lies and she will never stop. I don't see how I will ever recover. I've been thinking about suicide for years, because I see no way out. No matter how hard I fight, they always feel comfortable and look at how to take advantage of the situation. I have wanted to get rid of them for years, but I have no relatives or acquaintances, no one cares. And they won't leave me, under the pretext of worrying, I know that. I want to go to another city for accommodation, but I don't know where, and I can't share with another roommate, because I have a disability and this is the other problem because of which I closed myself, people have made fun of me and always will. they do, because of this disability I can't even have social contacts, I'm doomed to loneliness. I know it has become very tangled, I myself am confused and I cannot connect two sentences crosswise. I want to find a job, and so far I have not been hired anywhere. I want the nightmare to end once and for all, but I don't see how I will cope ... I don't know what to do and this isolation alone caused me a lot of problems. How to save myself, the fear they have imposed on me prevents me from taking many steps and the guilt imposed on me by them that I am ungrateful and since they are my parents I have to resign myself. I beg you to publish my story, I am at a dead end and I do not know what to do. This is not life, and I do not want to end it.
1 leegotgame answered
You wrote very confusedly, clarified some things, so that we could try to give an opinion. As far as I understand, on the one hand you hate them and both quite frankly, on the other you claim that you have a strong sense of guilt and gratitude ... one option excludes the other. What is your disability? It's not unhealthy curiosity, but I don't think it would prevent you from sharing an apartment, in the end you will have a roommate, not a caregiver. If you are looking for a job, then you are mobile and you take care of yourself. From what I have read so far, I am left with the impression that your emotional and financial dependence prevents you from living independently. But emotional ... not in the sense you indicated. Therefore, give more information!