I Didn't Like Him

   Hey, I never understood that feminine trait. you will bring him water from 9 wells, but you will not tell him directly that it will not work. Isn't it easier to tell him and it's over than to think lies and excuses every day and burden yourself? And let him not hope in vain. You give him hope and he bullies, bullies you too. Why are you harassing and wasting each other's time? But anyway, I stopped looking for logic in a woman a long time ago.

   Number 1, sorry, but things don't come to your mind much, even the elementary ones, and you went for logic to talk ... It's too early for you. Explained in simpler language, the author wants to cut that one, but as painlessly as possible, so as not to offend him and to save both herself and him the nasty moment to say to him: "You are unattractive, no I like you. I don't want you looking for me anymore. " Ž

   2, do not immediately touch the first signal as pinched, but think a little and read carefully. As he read and missed conveniently, it was for this reason that I told him to tell him that it would not work, not that he was ugly, not to look for her, and so on. And how many days do you think it takes to harass them both to come up with the incredibly complex sentence "sorry, but it won't work out between us"? Even I, who "do not come to my senses" need 2-3 seconds to invent it. But it's different to play for a week, isn't it?

   Number 2, you don't understand that this man is probably still inexperienced and that some hormone of happiness has been activated in him when he meets this woman, on which he has become addicted and now his brain works in a completely different way. If a sober-minded person would know from one or two hints that he is unwanted, he has an illusion that a miracle can happen and he will be caught like a drowning man by a straw, even if he is twisted ten times with some vague excuses. There is no need for rudeness, but you just have to tell him the following: I have no interest in seeing you again.

   Author, I've been in a similar situation and I know how nasty it is. In such cases, I always just disappear, without any explanations, warnings, etc. I know I'm acting disgusting, but it's better for a man to think of me than to instill complexes in him, telling him in his eyes why I'm cutting him. I'm so sorry. In short, I choose the lesser evil.

   Number 4, don't try, he won't understand you. Just read the comment under number 5 and you will understand what kind of product it is. and be aware. How can such a person understand you? This can only be done by an indecisive, hesitant and uncharacteristic person who does not have the honor and dignity to stand before you and tell you in two words. I don't know why he thinks that the man on the other side will ruin his life, get hysterical and almost commit suicide. As if there are no other women in the world and it is only her.

   Tell him that at this stage you are not looking for a relationship and you do not want to give him vain hopes. Not to wait for you, but to look for another. She complimented him and encouraged him to meet him soon. Up to number 1/3 - haven't you heard about diplomacy? This "between us will not work" in translation means "I do not like you, you are not for me." Wouldn't you be a little offended if a woman you liked told you that?

   8, but if for you this is equal to your ugly, be "you are not my type" then. Is it offensive again? You have become very sensitive and kind. And to hide like a pussy and lie, giving vain hopes is not insulting, is it? I realize that my comment is sharp, but think about it - isn't it more offensive to lie to the person and give him vain hopes for days and weeks?

   Not all women are like that, as long as with this female logic! And author, this is very wrong. Yes - you don't have to say "you're ugly, I don't like you". Just say you just want a friendship, not looking for a relationship or someone else. It hurts, but it's better to hit me with the truth, as they say, than to caress me with a lie. Will you enjoy being turned around? Don't be rubbish. Your wife tells you. I was in his place. Jen

   Haha now I remembered how I didn't cut one. The man after our meeting blocked me from everywhere, I didn't like him either, but I wouldn't do that. Tell him you don't want a relationship and thank him for the nice weather and so on. Whatever you tell him will be naughty, but at least he knows

   Well, this is the main problem of virtual dating - that you can not feel the thrill. It's one thing to take a picture on the net, it's another to feel someone, the smell, the energy, the presence. We are physical beings, we are not virtual robots. That's why I'm against online dating - wasting time and looking for a needle in a haystack. 99% when meeting live disappointments - 99% lie about age, weight, height, others post manipulated photos, abe lie and deception ... Who are they lying to ?! Just tell him the truth - I don't like you, bye. So what?! Don't you have to by accident? Staying friends is the biggest stupidity you can tell someone you don't really know and don't want to. Truth is the best policy not to be nerdy.

   You postpone appointments, you refuse appointments, you tell him that at this stage you don't care about connections and contacts with men and if he cuts his pipe he will give up and most importantly don't give him vain hopes otherwise he won't leave you There is something else - a lot relationships with a happy ending have started like this — she / he pulls, but the other side persists and eventually reunites and there is no separation. If you don't like only the look you can try (well, if it's not Quasimodo after all)

   Either you end the contact or, not remembering, you tell him directly that you don't like him. You better get used to being direct, because it often happens that we don't like someone.

   In any case, procrastination makes things worse and it seems harder to say something simple. Ros

   Both the wolf is full and the lamb is whole ... something like that is wanted as I understand it. You should have told him on the first date that it didn't make sense. You didn't do it honestly, you lied to him, and now you're ugly and you want to get out of the water dry. You put yourself in such a situation. And the worst truth is better than the fattest lie. To me, lying is more offensive. One woman

   You just have to tell him directly that you don't like him. No further explanation is required. The other is mean and cowardly, no matter how much you think you are doing it for the other, you are doing it to save your own discomfort. But be prepared that there will probably be an unpleasant reaction. Whether he tries to undermine you, manipulate you, or rude you, he is unlikely to get away with it in a civilized way. Ignore him, you have acted honestly, and he gives you a reason never to deal with him again. And you cut off all communication. When you cut a few, you will not only not be impressed, but you will feel them from afar.

   # 1, men do the same. It's like feeding them if you sit down and say two words. I had one, things were going badly between us and I told him to tell me directly so that no one would understand later. I'm silent, I'm silent, it wasn't like that. And then he covered himself. And in words was the great man, the bravest of them all.

   Okay, well, chick ... you said it, and you ask ... "The meeting went well, but I didn't feel the thrill" Not to mention that it is the TRUTH. No one owes anyone - nothing! Tell the person what everyone is on their way. Brother.

   The author, as well as those who justify her, is interested in her own comfort, she does not care at all whether she will cut the man painlessly. This is typical for both sexes, as evidenced by other topics and comments. №10, I see you have good intentions, but you are also wrong. You replace ramping with a false excuse. It's just as insulting to be told "I'm not looking for a connection" and in a week the other party is with someone else. An expression of elementary respect is to take things as they are - in a tactful way, of course. Lies and evasion are downright offensive, not "painless." And before you start with excuses that he is "afraid of his reaction", who behaves on a level, has the right to his side. A man on the spot will accept it normally and will not waste his time. However, if you continue with the cheap numbers, do not be surprised by the corresponding result. Author, if you really want to get out of this situation, tell him exactly what you wrote - you did not feel attracted. If he starts asking questions for reasons - avoid giving explanations so as not to offend, not everyone is ready for the whole truth. Just tell him things wouldn't work out between you.

   You tell him in plain text that he is not your type and point. It would be bad for him, but everything else would be unfair to him and to you.

   I support number 1. I am a man and I have had a very similar experience as that between the author and the man in question. We went out with the woman, we had a lot of fun, we laughed, we spent about 5-6 hours meeting almost imperceptibly. I liked her and invited her out again in a few days. However, she obviously did not like me visually and told me in a direct text that she did not feel the chemistry between us and did not see the point in meeting again. I will not hide that the moment I read this I was quite upset because I really liked her and I probably created some preconceived expectations and hopes, but only a few days later it passed. I even thanked her for telling me directly and not unwinding me. For me, such behavior is much more worthy of respect and I appreciate it.

   He won't be naughty. He now thinks you are experiencing it and if he is more aggressive, things will happen. Do not raise your self-confidence that you are very sought after and courted, because it is stupid to the person. Tell him the truth. I played chase for two months with one and finally got up because the whole thing was to test me. I have not participated in such games since then. Pulling and refusing to look after his work. For one sex two months of waiting, no thanks. This happens immediately if you like two people. In those two months, I would be in a serious relationship, or at least with two girls. M27

   Straight text, darling. It's not that complicated, despite your gender and lack of intelligence.

   Author, you better tell the man not to hope. There is no way to make him happy, but otherwise you play him and give him vain hopes, as they wrote before me. And let me note: I know it's nice to have someone like you, even if you don't particularly like them. This caresses the ego, but always treat people with respect: that is, be careful but honest and tell him that you would not want to see each other again.

   Evala 23, if we gather a few more people we will become a team of survivors of such nonsense. And they still don't know how to push you away. They are stupid.

   And I think it's better to tell him directly. When I was younger, I kept hoping and trying. I don't care anymore and if a woman cuts me two or three times, I don't look for her anymore. Some time ago I went out with a babe on two dates. She was very nice to me as a person, but I just didn't feel attracted. Then I didn't look for her. She found me on Facebook, asking me where I got lost. I answered her directly, "You're a cool girl, I enjoyed your company, but I didn't feel any chemistry. I'd love to see you again, but only as friends." And she appreciated it, we kept normal contact. Tell the man directly "I have no interest". You don't owe any more explanations. Everyone's feelings are their responsibility, it's not your job to keep them.

   Happens. Explain to him that you had a very pleasant time with him and that you like him as a person, but he just lacks the chemistry needed for a relationship and you can't influence him. Don't mislead him. In such a situation, so as not to offend the person, because he was both nice and decent to me, it turned out that I did more harm by not immediately telling myself directly how things were. He finally felt stupid and deceived because he had expectations. Take offense and set yourself against me, which development I regret. But, mistakes are to learn from them. Don't repeat mine.

   Just block him and stop answering him. You don't have to "do the right thing" or explain to someone why you didn't like them. Think of yourself, not others. Everyone is obliged to take care of themselves first and make sure that their happiness does not depend on anyone else. Only then will people stop blaming this or that one for their troubles and realize that friends and spouses can enrich their lives, but not necessarily become their meaning.

   Enroll in a gym and you will know how to react more adequately in such situations.

   You tell him directly and that's it. Character is wanted. You obviously don't have it

   №29 reunite with another egoist like you and compete with each other to infinity. I am sure it will make your life very happy and meaningful. Just 1 note - do not create offspring that we do not need more politicians.

   Sign up for a gym.

   number 33 and is this the gym here?

   Life according to 29: Someone will get pregnant boyfriend because he does not have to spoil his fun with a condom. She will tell him to get better now because she doesn't have to look after his baby. He will dump her because he doesn't owe them both. She will give birth to the child and dump him in the hospital because she does not owe him. Cool people, happy life, wonderful world. Good thing there was someone to open my eyes.

   Dear people, an aggressive fitness maniac wanders through the topics and comments, helmets and personal protective equipment are a must. It's a good thing Arnold Schwarzenegger can't see him, or he'll faint from envy of his muscles like an expensive German sausage and his tiles like the cobblestones of the Patriarch. Beware of hitting a dumbbell, forcing the couch or hanging upside down on the gladiator.

   Author, well, how come the people here don't attack you for not liking you, but they attack you for turning it on. It felt a little. If women had the courage to be direct, the world would be a very good place. We men are direct to each other, we even insult each other, and it's our duck again. Brother in this case is right (rarely right, you know) - you did not feel the chemistry. Point. POINT. Super explained it to us. Tell him the same thing. Guys, the next time we go out with someone, we'll have to ask, "What do you think, is there chemistry between us?" . That from their "political correctness" we are just pushing ourselves.

   32 - I have no connection and I do not intend to have. I don't need others to make me happy. I wish you to look a little further from your nose, you can find interesting things.

   №38 I don't have a vision problem, do you? After all, it's important to show that you're a big deal instead of showing respect to someone, isn't it?

   what simple things people want advice for, the new generation is very bad mentally, it is from GMO food or from mental retardation

   39. You have made good conclusions for life, but in this case they do not apply! It is true that one must first take care of oneself and then of others, but in this case, what exactly will it do to oneself if one draws two meaningful lines for oneself? It's the same effort and time, whether to block it or write to him "you're not my type, thank you for your time".

   39 - extremely funny speech. Tell me what would be the reason for me to show respect for anonymous scribbles in a forum? In the end no wonder you're a bot, hahaha. 41 - it may seem like nothing to you, but people are different and there are women who are really stressed when they have to "disappoint someone". Judging others by yourself is quite limited. It is clear that everyone wants to put the girl in the group's understanding of morality, but when you go with your group strong as the weakest in it. Cliché, yes, but in this case it is true. 37 - women are not like men and most cannot be direct. It's like saying, "Look at how happy the dog is when I get home." what will happen to the cat and she will do it, instead of lying on the couch and squinting at me? If you admire men's relationships so much, do you remember what advice I will give you? And if you do the foolish thing to ask the girl you went on a first date with if she thinks there is chemistry between you, I guarantee you that you will only see her a second time on the street by chance.

   From 27 to 29. I absolutely agree that one should take care of oneself first of all. And that everyone is responsible for their feelings, thoughts and actions. And I don't think the advice you gave the author is good for her. In a direct conversation, one learns to assert and defend oneself. He learns to say "yes" when he wants to say "yes" and "no" when he wants to say "no". The ability to say no is one of the most valuable and not so easy. Precisely because the author is not responsible for his feelings, it is good to tell him things directly so that she is clean in front of her, and he accepts it as he wants. The option you offer teaches the brain to avoid problems and postpone decisions. While with a direct conversation the author will learn assertiveness, which helps a lot in life. Now the boy, if he wants, to be angry. Not small, you need to learn to overcome cuts. It will happen to him in the future, it happens to everyone.

   You treated the author a little rudely in my opinion. It is obvious that she is a tactful girl and it is precisely this trait that predisposes her to such hesitation. One sometimes does not know how to react in a given situation and without wanting to stagger oneself (and sometimes others) more and more without realizing it. And here the same thing happens. She hardly dies of wanting to keep alive the feelings of a person to whom she feels nothing. Years ago there was a girl from my course who was interested in me and I tried to fend him off after his very first and fleeting appearances, but in the end I had to tell her in plain text that she would remain a good friend for me and nothing. more. So my thought is not to repeat my mistake. If you feel insistence and desire to continue the meetings, it is best to clarify at the first meeting. In this case, the person in question can't be your friend, since you will be almost strangers, so just tell him that you had a good time, but did not feel the thrill and chemistry between you. Be direct and share with him what you share with us. This is best for both parties, do not leave it with the impression that you are testing it, because in this way you can inspire it and make it even more demanding and obsessive. Cut him in time. M24

   №42 and you decided to take an example from women. Very elementary generalization by the way. In fact, not just women, but a lot of people can't be direct, and not for anything else, but precisely because they care too much about what others think. If you were so overwhelmed, you wouldn't give such advice. And respect for others, whether you have it or not, excuses are unnecessary. The author is not talking about a moral dilemma, but about 2 sentences that would save her the need to post on this site at all. On top of that, they wouldn't bring her the unpleasant feelings she has at the moment. But once a person lies, dignity does not return so easily.

   I fully understand the author and I do not see why so many people attack her. Maybe they don't often have to say something like that to a person they don't really know, and just repeat what they've learned: "Be direct, you don't owe him anything." It has happened to me several times and the unpleasant thing here is that the person is not close to you, you do not know exactly what to say so as not to offend him, you do not know how he will react to what you say. In one of my cases, the man was obviously angry with what I told him (that I don't want to have a relationship with him and it won't work), started insulting me and I just left, and the unpleasant feeling that I had hardly not a bad thing holding me for weeks. This taught me to be more careful if I even had to "blur the situation" with some complete stupidity. What I usually use is, that at the moment I don't like it (serious relationships), but that I don't mind communicating on a friendly basis, if he wants to. It may sound dumb to some as an excuse, but I prefer it to "it won't work, I don't have a thrill for you" and so on. given the experience I have.

   Tell him, "I'm sorry, but it won't work out between us, I don't feel a shiver." There is nothing offensive in how you feel. Besides, it is the truth itself. It's not complicated.

   46, I have had to cut someone many times. Yes, it is not pleasant and yes, I have received negative reactions. From manipulation and imputation of guilt, through covert attacks and attempts to strike at self-esteem, to outright insults. And with two I almost got to the point of filing complaints with the police, because they didn't want to accept a refusal, they kept calling me and hung under my window. The result is that I have learned to recognize mature men who may not accept with dignity, from infantile boys who think that someone owes them. Accordingly, I already know how to react in any situation and I am not at all impressed when they start behaving stupidly. But whatever it is, it would not be worthy of me to turn him around, to waste his time, to give him vain hopes, and to put him in a situation of humiliation by running after someone, who doesn't want anything to do with it. That is why I am doing the right thing and saying that things will not work out. From then on, whether and how he will accept it is his responsibility.

   To the author. I recently experienced a similar situation. We started a virtual relationship, we wrote to each other every day for 6 months. I also said that if he thought he had no sympathy for me to tell me in plain text, he never did. After much insistence on my part, we saw each other, then I surprised her once again and went to her without her knowing. Then he told me that he felt nothing and hoped I would not be offended. I was quite upset, but I imagined 6 months of communication, writing and dreams on my part, but I also said that everything is fine not to worry. At parting a gift from her, hugs, wet looks and thus gave me ambiguous signals. Then she disappeared completely, I thought she was testing me, and I kept writing to her and telling her that it was my world. After a while, he blocked me. Well, now I know she had nothing on me, but this made me insensitive and several times I invited a girl for coffee and when she refused I stopped insisting and had no desire to do more. This left a lasting imprint on me, because I may be quite sensitive. Just tell him in plain text that you don't feel anything and so, and don't give him ambiguous signals and hopes. And for me, this girl remained a good lesson and she doesn't have any nasty feelings, on the contrary, I respect her for giving me a great lesson. hopes and dreams on my part And for me, this girl remained a good lesson and she doesn't have any nasty feelings, on the contrary, I respect her for giving me a great lesson. hopes and dreams on my part And for me, this girl remained a good lesson and she doesn't have any nasty feelings, on the contrary, I respect her for giving me a great lesson. hopes and dreams on my part