I Clapped Hard

   "I care about the children, not her (my wife) for years. "It simply came to our notice then. Author, why do you think you slapped her hard? Who knows - maybe life gives you one last chance for one last big love, for a new beginning ... Who knows? Otherwise, your story is quite common and banal. And I was before as a girl, just his age. I was always more than nice, and the young boys seemed afraid to talk to me. That's why I stayed alone, while all my uglier girlfriends already had serious relationships. And so, until I met Him. What can I tell you - he went through the same confusion as you, while I was always sure of my feelings and that I wanted to spend my life with him. I gave him time without forcing things. He told me he would never divorce and I pretended to believe him. And so - the years passed, and our relationship outlived the relationships of my friends, and some of the marriages. I devoted myself to studying, worked in parallel and rented a studio, which cost 80% of my income, but we finally had our own love nest. The years passed, he spent more and more of his time with me. At first he lied like you that it was just about sex, he kept telling me that nothing would come out, that I was looking for a friend my age, but he was also terribly jealous. The years went by and passed ... I graduated, I started a good job, I became a great woman, I grew up ... and over time things just became clearer. His children grew up, things got more and more organized, and our relationship developed and deepened. Today we are a married couple and we have our children, our lives. His first marriage was long forgotten. The year is already 2013, and we have been together since 1999. Our relationship is longer than his first marriage and I read stories of men like you with affection. Unlike you, women are always honest with themselves when it comes to feelings. Even at 19, your girl is smarter than you. Don't be afraid, he won't fidget and say something to your wife. She loves you and will wait as long as necessary. She is young, she has time. Be? support, mentor in life and can achieve a lot, and then you will decide for yourself what to choose - a future with a young, unused girl, a new family in which your wife will not be indifferent to you, a family that will rely on more than a debt to the children or you will keep the status quo, you will be an exemplary grandfather and you will watch your children one by one leave the nest for which you once sacrificed the love of your life. The choice is yours, but now is not the time to make that decision.

   It seems to me that this is a fabrication. The story is too detailed. Still, if she's real, I'd advise you not to leave your wife for this girl. At most to be together 2-3 maximum 4 years, then what will you do? She will find a friend, she is single, what about you ??

   Oh, that's enough! He was a man after all, and he acted as such! BLA blah! You could have diverted her long before it came to this, * suddenly * to end up on your lap. But you didn't want to do it. When there is a desire - there are ways, when there is not - there are excuses. And in a neighboring topic about the same thing, more and more moralistic men spat at an UNATTENDED girl who acted in a similar way. Basi the double standards of the Bulgarian man!

   Hello, colleague! Since I had only one comment, and I wanted to see other opinions, and different from mine, it will now turn out that I will support the opinion of the lady, only, seen from the opposite side. I had your problem too, but I went back to the case described by the lady. That is, I am now a grandfather and live only with my wife. What you are afraid of now has happened to us - my wife has revealed me. And all her jealousy fell on me in a banal way. My life can't get any better after the event, after I've decided to keep my family. Our marital cohabitation has become an agreement in the interest of the children's peace. And for the termination of the "side" relationship, I feel, to put it mildly, comforting discomfort. The girl rearranged her life, that's good, but it, too, will probably leave a trace of the fleeting experience cut off by the rusty blade of coercion. And since the site is called, after all - 'share', I will write a few more words. I sometimes think that despite the idealized image of the family, women and men enter it not very prepared. But, in fact, if they were prepared, which happens more and more often, if they perceived it more as responsibilities than as a happy outcome of mutual experience (this is the case in all fairy tales, where you end up eating, drinking and having fun for three days; 0) , they probably would not have made this vow in front of the public and the witnesses. Statistics show a pretty solid figure for the so-called marital cohabitation without marriage. But we are not of the generation with which this is happening. Whether this is good or bad, I leave everyone to their own opinion. And I try to think: When a woman thinks of starting a family and chooses her marriage partner, no matter how old she is, she puts a "plus" for herself on each of the qualities of each potential partner and future "companion". forever ". And the pluses at least concern how romantic and carried away he is. Therefore, when the family is already a fact, in it the woman achieves some of her dreams - the ones by which she was able to get to know her future husband correctly. With the rest, he lives with compromises: "he's a little irritable, but he tolerates it", "he likes to be on his own, but sometimes I outsmart him", ... etc. However, compromises are made with ready-made positions. When something is systematically missing (and I am convinced that even the most courted woman in her family needs tenderness and caress, not just sex), then sooner or later she will stop compromising him and allow herself to compensate him. Here the dispute is relevant only to the very limited women with the rural patriarchal mentality. That is why people sometimes wonder women who have an ugly lover, with a husband far superior to him in anything. And what is a family man looking for in a mistress? !! I will say this to make it clear to skeptics as well: most often a woman who will receive and accept from him what she lacks without returning destructive jealousy in return. Most often, the latter would in no case be preferred for a husband over the existing one. About the author: In any case, no matter what you do, there will be consequences. It's the same with everything. If we stop driving our cars because they can fine us for anything at every check or we line up at the stock exchange, in order to avoid possible quarrels with various bureaucrats, competitors, etc., it is better not to do anything. Our peace of mind will be guaranteed. And the greatest peace is where no one wants anything from you at all - in the villages of eternity. But is this what we want to be our life? Everyone answers for themselves and acts in their own way. You also. However, no one can guarantee that the girl from your entrance is a copy-paste of the girl (woman) from the first comment. The latter honestly introduced herself to you, and only you can get to know this girl. However, I would not recommend you to choose a priori, without any perspective, the path I am taking. At least, because I'm not sure I'll make it to the end. I know that women are not the same in mold as we men. But some circumstances change a person beyond recognition.

   Dude, you really slapped her really hard! But a lot! The only small chance - finish with it in a minute, a second, a millimeter .... so to speak immediately and uncompromisingly and you can get away with it! And hopefully But unlikely! And when you're done, make up a tearful story - that you love your wife, that she deserves something better ... you're there, that otherwise the little inexperienced dove will probably fool around and fuck up the scheme! Success! And finish now - did you hear? !!

   Li-liyy, brother, you have faithfully trampled her everywhere! I would sleep more peacefully on a barrel of dynamite than you would at night! Successful balance on the edge of the razor and be sure to report on the development of the situation!

   "I have no excuse and damn it, I'm not sorry, but I don't know how it got here ..." First, you know very well how it got "here", because you yourself wanted it to happen. Secondly, if you do not regret and have no excuse, you should calmly accept the negative consequences of what happened as a man, and not whine like a jerk. That's how real people know each other - that they take responsibility for their actions, even if it costs them everything. The decision was yours, to think when the time was right ... I'm sorry for the harsher tone, but that's my opinion. However, I wish you success, for the sake of the children, not for anything else.

   Pretty bad situation, really. I am a 16-year-old girl, the age between that of your children and that of your "mistress". So, if I put myself in your children's shoes and find out about your affair, I'd be upset that my father doesn't love my mother anymore, etc. If I put myself in your wife's shoes, I'd kill you because I'm scary. jealous, like any woman. But if I put myself in your place and I had a choice, I would consult my heart first. You don't mention your feelings anywhere in your story. I know you're confused, but first you have to figure out what you want yourself. As you can see, you say it outright, you no longer love your wife, and this is your life and you have the right to choose who to be with. First find out how you feel about this girl, think carefully about whether you are ready to turn your back on all these years of marriage, with this woman, think of the children. If you need to make a list of the pros and cons of the whole situation to figure out what to do. Maybe it would be better if you stayed away from this girl for a while, explain to her that you need time to think. Good luck and draw a line to find out what happened :)!

   I was moved and moved by comment number 1. I am glad to the author of the comment that your waiting and hopes were worth it and your love did not turn out to be a disappointment. In the author's story, he does not feel more than a sexual attraction to the girl. I also do not understand what you are so afraid of author? You don't love your wife, I guess we're not dependent on her, it's unlikely that if you get divorced she'll forbid you from seeing the children. If you are worried that a divorce will affect them badly, my opinion that your unwanted cohabitation with your wife will affect them even worse. They will grow up with a sense of guilt that they are to blame for the misfortune of both of you. When there is no love in a family, it is felt, no matter how much it is hidden. It's best to think about what you want

   Thanks, number 9. And for the rest I support you. Unfortunately, my husband made the mistake of prolonging his divorce indefinitely, today his children from this marriage are quite damaged to one degree or another. 5 years before he met me at all, it was clear to him that his marriage was not going well. To this day, I do not understand what made him want to raise his children in such a family at all costs, as if the divorced father was not a father. But anyway. It helped me a lot that I was very young (like the author's girl), I had time to wait, and I had ambitions to learn and develop and I didn't have time to get so depressed. Things worked out over time, but if he hadn't divorced, I'd definitely leave him. Today it is strange to us that there has been such a period in our lives in which we have not lived together, we have not woken up next to each other, time heals and provides a solution to most problems. And with the author it will happen. His fears are unfounded.

   I don't want to criticize you, it hasn't even crossed my mind at all, but believe me that if you divorce your wife it won't be a very pleasant part for your children;) It's not bad to start from the beginning but she may be shaken by more puberty and not to know what she does .... think about it, but if after 2 months something else comes to her mind and she goes after someone her age (very possible)?

   It is very possible that the babe will fuck things up and blow you away. But what are you hanging out with in a family where your wife doesn't care? Don't you think that children don't feel anything? They are usually aware that something is wrong and suffer from it. No matter how mature this chick is, she is too young to be mature enough in behavior, thinking and looking at things. Such as №1 are some white swallows, as well as the happy ending of her relationship. Expect trouble, but it is better to anticipate it. Not that everything can't go like a miracle, but you have to believe in miracles very firmly - only then it becomes a reality.