Hello! I am a 17-year-old girl (soon to be) who already feels that she will never love anyone again. So, when I started with the "big loves", I was 1 month before I turned 15 (it bothers me very early, I admit) and again after a strong failed attempt. This was my first official relationship since I was in high school (to note that there are 90% boys) before her I liked 2-3 boys very much, but fortunately they did not pay attention to me .... We went with this boy , everything was going well, I was not in love with him at first, but gradually I liked him a lot, etc., etc. We had a relationship with him for almost a year and a half (very strong, very emotional, we loved each other very much, our quarrels were very cruel), which eventually fell apart, the circumstances separated us, he went to another girl and so on. n I experienced it very hard for months, I remember that there was a month (I will never forget it) in which I did not stop crying (on the first break) and we both could not stand it and reunited. The new year passed and then another 3 months (it will be a year soon since I haven't seen or heard from him) then he went to the other girl, it's not very easy for me to see him, I overcame him, but I didn't have it to the idea that there would be such big holes in my soul and everything that happened ... Further, maybe 1 or 2 months passed in loneliness, complete agony, nasty (but not sad, I didn't cry either once), I remember hanging out with another guy who was just looking for sex or something, but I was looking for a relationship ... I was not particularly touched and somewhere in April 2013 quite by chance we met on Facebook with a boy from school (he is a year older than me) and little by little we slowly became very close, friends, there was a moment I was wondering if yes I told him that I liked him, I wondered if I liked him, if he liked me too .... and we said it to each other and I don't remember what happened there anymore, but something turned me away with my actions, at a party in I got drunk and kissed another boy ... and I still liked him, and he let me do whatever I wanted with him, he was very much in love, but I was inhumanely ugly with him, I remember how much I played with him, I wasn't sure if I was going with him - he was just hellishly confused after the nasty breakup, a very ugly thing, but he's a boy who really deserved a lot. This was all going on for 4 months, then he gave up on me (which I didn't want to happen) and went with another girl .... further, we started a relationship with the boy I kissed at the party and there started a mess ... This time, he he was holding on badly, and I was engrossed in him, he was indecisive, he was wondering what to do to break me ... I missed in the meantime, I was drinking on his birthday .. we have been dragging him with this boy for 3 months now, the story is difficult and there, but the thrill was gone after he decided he was going to be serious. Another boy came to me, a boy from my class, who is already forming a new thing there, it's not as if they haven't offered it to me before - sex, no relationship ... and I, because after all these things I don't know what to look for, love, I only have no idea of physical pleasures, and soon I will not have .... something terrible, and I know that if I jump into the last sentence without wanting to, I will fall in love and it still hurts, but something tells me to do it. I don't think it makes sense ... I didn't mention another boy who is in love with me (maybe), gives me a lot, whatever I want sitting next to me since the beginning of the year .... but I'm not interested, there The situation is even worse. I don't know what to do anymore, but the most alternative option, in my opinion, is to sit on my ass, graduate as a teacher, then get to the university and not wait for anyone, because this damn thing lurks around me: /////// I don't know, I want to love again, but I fuck everyone (they started me again), because the grief of the nasty separation, the first one eats me a lot, I don't know what will be best for me ... .
1 joannagaines answered
So what can we do to help you? I have the feeling that you change them like handkerchiefs - she started with one, then kissed with another, and two more were waiting for her in some state there ... A person starts with someone and starts to BUILD a relationship with him, not to walk as if picking mushrooms in the forest only from anyone who offered it to him. This is a good idea for graduating from school and starting university: you are still too immature for a serious relationship - you don't know yourself or others well, what you can expect from yourself and them, what you can't ... And yes looking for new connections before the old wound has healed and you have stabilized mentally is a pretty stupid idea - it turns out that your new one is to blame for the pain of the old story, and you have to "get it out". The principles "what knocked - such called" and " can you rely on yourself, how much are you willing to give, to invest in a relationship, do you know what you want and do you have the patience to achieve it, don't you do to others what you do NOT want to do to you do? Don't worry - you will love (and they will love you) when you mature for it and learn how to do these things ... Now you are 17, and before 27 this is unlikely to happen. Maybe somewhere around 23-24 your picture will start to clear up. From 27 to 30 you will build a good relationship with someone, and then - a family and children, and when you then remember your current nonsense, you will wonder if you are laughing or crying. can you rely on yourself, how much are you willing to give, to invest in a relationship, do you know what you want and do you have the patience to achieve it, don't you do to others what you do NOT want to do to you do? Don't worry - you will love (and they will love you) when you mature for it and learn how to do these things ... Now you are 17, and before 27 this is unlikely to happen. Maybe somewhere around 23-24 your picture will start to clear up. From 27 to 30 you will build a good relationship with someone, and then - a family and children, and when you then remember your current nonsense, you will wonder if you are laughing or crying. what do you NOT want to be done to you? Don't worry - you will love (and they will love you) when you mature for it and learn how to do these things ... Now you are 17, and before 27 this is unlikely to happen. Maybe somewhere around 23-24 your picture will start to clear up. From 27 to 30 you will build a good relationship with someone, and then - a family and children, and when you then remember your current nonsense, you will wonder if you are laughing or crying. what do you NOT want to be done to you? Don't worry - you will love (and they will love you) when you mature for it and learn how to do these things ... Now you are 17, and before 27 this is unlikely to happen. Maybe somewhere around 23-24 your picture will start to clear up. From 27 to 30 you will build a good relationship with someone, and then - a family and children, and when you then remember your current nonsense, you will wonder if you are laughing or crying.