I Can't Reduce My Criteria

   There is no way until you bite the tree ... Several times ... And these sick ambitions will drain your life energy too quickly. One learns and changes in two ways: 1. Out of curiosity and desire for development (carrot principle) 2. From suffering (stick principle) If one cannot on the first, one waits for life to take on the second.

   I went to a psychology seminar a few months ago. One of the games was to share personal things one on one. I fell in love with a girl, told her some shameful and bad things about myself that I wouldn't tell anyone in another situation. A few hours later we had another game in which everyone had to find the person in whom he saw the greatest inner beauty. And ... she came to me. And I showed her the worst of myself. It wasn't because of my vision, I hadn't tried to look good at all. This made me realize that every person is valuable and deserves love and respect. And the rest comes from how we evaluate ourselves. When we lack the inner conviction that we are valuable human beings in spite of everything, we cling to external marks - vision, money, career. I'm not saying it's bad to pursue these things, on the contrary. And I am ambitious. But one must be aware that he is valuable and worthy of love regardless of them. They are just a bonus. To set too high requirements for ourselves is an expression of a complex. You want to look like a top model. Not bad, but if you have real self-confidence, you will be just as charming, even with a few pounds on top. You want a successful career - well done. But whoever loves you will love you without your career. I'm telling you honestly, I can't imagine a relationship with a woman who has an attitude like yours. To wait for me to be beautiful, successful, I don't know what ... Well, these things are temporary. And tomorrow, if life turns to what, it will dump me. I would be with a woman who loves me for myself. Personally, the criteria I have for a relationship are mostly in relation to my own perception of the woman. It's important to be physically attracted to me, which can happen without being a beauty. It is important for me to have something to talk about, to have similar goals and to have fun together. Look, I wouldn't compromise on the attitude I get. If a woman treats me with contempt, insults me or cheats on me, then we just don't get along. Good luck and believe more in yourself! The right man will come.

   There seems to be no way to lower your criteria and become more moderate, as you say. A woman whose appearance and career come first will not have a successful relationship, let alone family and children. Accept yourself as you are, accept and pay the price for it.

   I don't understand if you have achieved all of the above or are you still fighting for it? I do not accept people who have requirements for others, but who want to cover them themselves. (The story of the thrown stone.) But let's move on to the problem. I think you can spend time and money and visit a psychologist. It will help you build a strategy and correct some parts of the character. I give myself a meeting for the new year. Success!

   Don't listen to numbers like number 4 first. (I think that's exactly how they treated your head when you posted a topic with such a title ..) Reconciled beings like him want as many people as possible to be reconciled and oppressed ... These are unhappy, angry and negative people and they want everyone to become like them. Those of them who have become married create a hell of a negative environment for their children, the slightly poisoned ones start cheating, and the others are systematically hysterical at home and raise depressed and / or aggressive children. Psychotherapy is a good idea. I personally think that you are too nervous, you radiate neuroticism, haste and that is why you do not like the men you like. One falls in love with the broadcast, the vision is also important, but the real broadcast is the key! In order to like the coolest ones (generally speaking) you have to radiate calmness, freshness, optimism, lightness, positivism, confidence, self-satisfaction! So try psychotherapy and there talk about the things that make you feel insecure in your skin, about your personal complexes, about bad moments of your childhood, if you have any, etc. And again I tell you: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD TO 'GIVE A CHANCE' TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FUN! It is absolutely illogical - so not only do you harass yourself, but you also create vain hopes on the other side. Otherwise, let people like number 4 live by coming to terms with this and that, but let them not impose it on others ... Success in the new 2018 n. And again I tell you: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD TO 'GIVE A CHANCE' TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FUN! It is absolutely illogical - so not only do you harass yourself, but you also create vain hopes on the other side. Otherwise, let people like number 4 live by coming to terms with this and that, but let them not impose it on others ... Success in the new 2018 n. And again I tell you: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD TO 'GIVE A CHANCE' TO PEOPLE WHO DON'T HAVE FUN! It is absolutely illogical - so not only do you harass yourself, but you also create vain hopes on the other side. Otherwise, let people like number 4 live by coming to terms with this and that, but let them not impose it on others ... Success in the new 2018

   Psychotherapy is a good idea for you, number 6! First I'm not "him", but her, an adult woman now, positive, always smiling. I studied what I want, I work what I want, I have achieved what I want - I am happy! I have a family and a good child, I support myself, a prestigious profession / I even think that in my case it is a privilege /, true, not with a super high income, but this is exactly what I want to do, and we are two. I know people like the author - terrible workaholics and they are not interested in anything else, I also know those who only have children as the meaning of their lives ... it's a pity for both species. In my opinion, the truth is in the balance, for a woman it is especially good to be educated, to work, but so that she has the time and desire / and opportunity / to be close to her children and to maintain her home. The author can't force herself to be different, it can happen, if there is an awareness and rearrangement of its priorities, but I see no hint of that. Let her read more, analyze herself, if it is difficult for her to seek help ... if not - let her work and be a man without complaining! number 4

   Calmer n4, you didn't even have to describe your life, and yet the topic is not for you;) And the author is most likely a girl of 20, 20 and a little and it is too early to be categorized as a workaholic or others. The girl is obviously stressed and surrounded by people who take advantage of her emotional state to boost her self-esteem.

   A woman cannot be moderate. This is her nature - to want, to want, and never enough ... If she calms you down, I don't think it's just you. Feminism created your generation of women ... There is no one to put them in place and restrain them. You have become a victim of yourself ... Btw, looking like a "top model" can find you a womanizer, but it can't find you a man ... Something that most of you also don't understand ... chooses a serious woman because his biggest problem with a woman is whether he can bear to live with her ... Appearance can only win you one sex night, but that's not what you aim for ... Show that you are intelligent, understood , empathetic, modest (at least pretend, men know you're lying to them, but at least they want to see the effort that you can close that trap). I guarantee you will provoke the interest of every man, which is really worth it (not just some whore like most of those women pursue). Aiming high does not always lead to the result you expect ... On the contrary, often only balloons are "high" ...