I Can't Communicate With People

   I completely understand you, it's awful. I'm the same and I have no idea what to do. Whatever I try - it doesn't work and that's it ... I can only cry and hate myself for who I am, which certainly doesn't get me anywhere.

   Hello. In general, people who have difficulty speaking have the talent to write meaningfully - they think very deeply and extensively, form sentences, choose the most appropriate words and combine all this - convey pleasure to the reader. As for your "problem" for difficult communication ... Most likely you have low self-esteem, you don't trust people and you think a lot about who perceives you and how. This is a type of mental disorder that develops in adolescence (13-14 years) and you can very easily overcome it. THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM, OR A DISEASE! First of all, you need energy that you can get by doing good things, looking at life more positively and empathizing with people. You can find a hobby, such as writing articles, short stories, poems, etc. Your second step is, to learn to be a good listener. When someone says something to you, don't miss it, show that you want to hear what they have to say. When they tell you something, introduce yourself in the situation, what you would do / say. So, so far we have socialized and now we move on to self-expression - do not think so much about how people will perceive your words. Don't repeat your words before you say them. Just be free, say what your soul says. Use facial expressions and "body language". Say things in an interesting way and smile from time to time. I believe that you will deal with this so-called "problem". :) Male of 19. Psychology student. so far we have socialized and now we move on to self-expression - don't think so much about how people will perceive your words. Don't repeat your words before you say them. Just be free, say what your soul says. Use facial expressions and "body language". Say things in an interesting way and smile from time to time. I believe that you will deal with this so-called "problem". :) Male of 19. Psychology student. so far we have socialized and now we move on to self-expression - don't think so much about how people will perceive your words. Don't repeat your words before you say them. Just be free, say what your soul says. Use facial expressions and "body language". Say things in an interesting way and smile from time to time. I believe that you will deal with this so-called "problem". :) Male of 19. Psychology student.

   Don't worry, you're not the only one. Obviously, you have a problem that needs to be solved. I understand you very well, so am I. I say to myself every day: I am changing from tomorrow, but it is not easy at all. I can't speak in front of people, I think I'm going to say nonsense or it's going to be wrong, I start to tremble and if I have to say something I say it quickly and without thinking and then I'm always sorry. I know the problem, but I can't change it. I don't want to go to a psychologist because I won't be able to explain to him why I can't talk to people. However, I love to write. Everything I can't say I write, everything I feel also becomes novels ... I've always preferred to do tests rather than be tested in front of the class. It's easy in chats and the like, but live is a nightmare. Look, you mention you have a friend. It's nice, because you took a step forward and he noticed you. My ex and I didn't talk and we just argued that I didn't share and he told me that this was not a normal relationship. He always told me about his day, what he did, etc., and I said in two words, "It went well," etc. And he was annoyed, he wanted to talk more, and I just didn't want to. And I'm a person who prefers to be alone. If there is a person with my interests is already different, then I do not keep silent and the person can not say anything. My best friend and I don't keep quiet when we go out, but it's horrible in front of others. I know I can't fix the problem, but you can. If you avoid it, you will not allow it. Try to talk to a psychologist, he will help you more. I know it's hard for you, but you're still 16 and you can change it. Find something you like and then a choir that shares your interest. This will make it easier for you to communicate. Infinity

   No, you won't waste psychologists' time, I'm sure 90% of their meetings start with crying clients - that's why you go to a psychologist at all, because a person is mentally overwhelmed. I feel like your father is part of the problem. You have to try to calm down and if you can separate from it ... to be alone for a while and organize your thoughts. If it's easier for you, try to make friends outside of school where more or less people already know that you have communication problems.

   So was I. I even blushed and then couldn't calm down for hours. And it is important to express yourself. Try not to think about others and their reaction. It doesn't matter. For starters, start communicating online and on the phone. There you do not see the reaction of the other party and you may decide not to read it at all. But you will begin to express your thoughts. Start keeping a diary. If necessary, go to a psychologist. You will pay him money there, so it doesn't matter his reaction. Be bolder and don't care about the reaction of others.

   Hello. I'm also a person who doesn't talk much. For me, I think it's different because I don't do it because I can't, but simply because I don't want to. 70% of what people say is gossip. I also think the silence is wonderful, I think it's terribly stupid to talk nonsense just because you think it's necessary. Small and simple conversations bore me, that's why I rarely have them. Quite often I am in my own world and sometimes even without wanting to completely turn it off. But anyway, enough for me, I just want to tell you that there are people who would find this silence attractive and, perhaps, would encourage them to get to know you better. I don't know if you know, this is something the teacher told me, but when a person is too insecure, talking to other people is almost impossible. I will offer you something. Next time, when someone asks you how you are or how your day went, something ordinary, try to explain it to him in the most detailed and interesting way. As much as you can, even if he is a parent or a friend, or if he is a stranger best. Also, try to talk to strangers, ask them where this or that is, just to train. Try to talk to the teachers when they are alone, ask them different things (if they are interested in a conversation, of course), then it will be easier for you to talk to them in front of the class. If you have a test or presentation, talk in front of the mirror, take a picture while you talk and just see where your weak spot is, if you stutter, if you rub your hands too much, if you talk too low or too high, and so on. With my students ... I honestly don't know what to advise you because my classmates are far behind, meaning, they don't think like me, they don't like what I like and so we don't get along very well. If there are those with whom you share common things, try to talk to them about these topics in as much detail as possible. Try to listen, it's a very good quality, when someone sees that you pay attention to it, it will not go unnoticed. Take an interest in people. And that's from me, good luck. - Joly, 16.

   Your only problem is insecurity - it makes you feel weak, unworthy. Be smart and don't fall to the bottom, because there is always light - as long as you believe and seek. What does it matter what others think of you? Will they change your life? I know, it's hard, but if you want you can handle anything. Nothing is impossible. It's all in your head - you can have a high opinion of yourself, do things that make you feel great or become a creator of a new kind of technology. For you, the problem is a past event. This fear does not come out of nowhere. However, think when you are alone WHY should you complicate your life? Go outside, breathe the fresh air, see the sun, train! Sport has a huge impact on thinking and blocks stress. Remember one of me: Time is money! Don't lose it, and use it to build a bright future. I'm keeping my fingers crossed to deal with the problems :)

   Honey, I think you may have Social Anxiety Disorder, which I suffer from. If you want to see on the net what it is about. The only "treatment" is to go to a psychologist, but in most cases it can not be completely blunted and you continue to carry it with you.