Hello. Usually I'm the one who writes comments and gives advice but now it's different. I'm a 30-year-old boy, I look good, I'm smart, I have a job I like, I manage everything on my own, but it's very difficult for me to fight with myself. My story is much longer but I will try to be as short as possible. I fell in love with a girl 2 years ago. She was still living with her ex-boyfriend, with whom she had been in a relationship for 6 months. She was staying with him and had her own room. Everything was real, mutual and very beautiful until we slept for the first time. Then she told me her biggest secret. She was raped at the age of 15 (she is now 28) and is sharing it with someone for the first time. I was shocked, angry ... I generally went crazy, cried and since then the problems started. I read a lot about it. The consequences are sometimes irreversible, but I am a fat capricorn head and had to try. For the first time I loved so much ... I could see that it was the same on her part. People who have experienced this thing have almost no power over their lives. Where she lived she was manipulated and she simply did not have the strength to fight back. He wanted to be with me, but circumstances did not allow it. He couldn't make his own decision and a number of other things. This infuriated me. It didn't take me long to gather it and I got it on her. I think at that point I lost her forever, but I didn't give up. I started going to a psychologist and passing on the things I was learning. I let her drink most of her life from me until she got to her feet and got along with the boy she was with. Now I think she's fine but I'm not. I do not regret what I did. I wanted it. All the time we were together, she never asked me for anything. I did it voluntarily because I love her, but my mistake was that I hoped. We no longer keep in touch. I was left alone as I was before. I hadn't had sex in almost a year. Now I call myself prostitutes, I drink, I have no goals, I don't care. I can't go back to reality and quite often I have obsessive thoughts that fill my heart with hatred for it. It's easiest to hate someone, but it won't help me. I try to accept everything and it's a hell of a lot harder to get things in my head. I know that only I can help myself, and I do not have the strength. There is nothing to motivate me. It's hard for me and I wanted to share with you. I can't go back to reality and quite often I have obsessive thoughts that fill my heart with hatred for it. It's easiest to hate someone, but it won't help me. I try to accept everything and it's really hard to put some things in my head. I know that only I can help myself, and I do not have the strength. There is nothing to motivate me. It's hard for me and I wanted to share with you. I can't go back to reality and quite often I have obsessive thoughts that fill my heart with hatred for it. It's easiest to hate someone, but it won't help me. I try to accept everything and it's really hard to put some things in my head. I know that only I can help myself, and I do not have the strength. There is nothing to motivate me. It's hard for me and I wanted to share with you.
1 devilsdaughter69 answered
So, you say that you are smart, intelligent and what not, and then you describe that you almost beat her, just because you were weak in front of yourself, in front of your fears and in front of your desires. From what has been written, it turns out that you are not smart at all, you are not intelligent at all, not to mention the incident in which you meet a committed girl, expecting that because of you she will be surpassed. The truth is that you have an ego, which is good to have, but not the grandiosity you have, to think very smart, and to catch hitting a woman, to go to psychologists, expecting someone else to solve your problems. I can say that you fit in with her, she had a dramatic story with some kind of rape, but she was not honest and thanked her friend who sheltered her and God knows what else he did for her. Instead of being grateful that someone thinks of her, she catches up with you and teases you with a bunch of excuses and lies that you get attached to. In general, work on yourself. Only then will you be able to control yourself and make judgments about some women.