I Can't Break

The Story

Hello. M. writes to you at the age of 24, who needs advice or just to be heard. For as long as I can remember, I have always been "different" and I have had to fight many battles. On the playground, in kindergarten, at school, at university, etc. This way of life tired me a long time ago and I lost the spark that made me laugh. I experienced so many disappointments, betrayals and failures that I lost faith in people. Now I live only day for day, lev for lev and line for line. I am a void wrapped in Versace. Depression and loneliness became my best friends. Sometimes I sleep, but more often I don't. It's like I'm cursed not to experience any of the good things in life. Until 2 days ago, I thought I had found the "right" one, but it turned out to be another disappointment. I just deleted it from my life right now without giving any explanation, and inside I was torn into thousands of pieces. The pain was terrible. I'd rather be knocked down with a knee in my head and then have my arm torn off with an arm bar than have to feel that feeling again. Anyway ... and that's what I went through.

Why am I not like the others? So to accept betrayals, to forgive, to be soft, to be frivolous, to make compromises, to listen to chalga, to drink nasty alcohol, to take down stars and to drool. I can't be like that ... my principles don't allow it. I am clearly doomed to loneliness and pain for life. It is good that my business and training have ended my suffering so far. Even the fact that I have been the head of the family since I was 15 and without me they will not be able to cope in life would not stop me from doing so. Very selfish of me. Over the years, I realized that serious people have no right to happiness. How not to shake? How not to fight? How to trust people? How to sleep? How not to be lonely? Unfortunately, there is no way ... I am sorry for my complaint and I know that there are people with much more serious problems than mine, but there is simply no one to share it with.

Last Updated
July 26, 2020
Author:
aleja_and_harold

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