Hi, I'm 24 and I soon broke up with my friend, who is much older than me. At first I did not pay attention to the difference in our age, he is 40, but we liked each other a lot and got along great. In time, however, I realized that he had been trampling in one place all his life and it would be difficult for me to have a future with him, as he was not stable, but claimed to be ready for children. They found serious damage to my right ovary and they had to remove it, but when I told him about it, I didn't feel any support from him ... as if I told him that I was fine. I saw that he could not support me, because he himself is permanently depressed and always complains about something. I made the difficult decision to separate, I told him, and he accepted it quite calmly, as if he was expecting it ... he didn't even ask me why I wanted to separate and he didn't call me even once after that. He completely erased me, as if I were gone. However, with each passing day it becomes more and more difficult for me and I think more and more about it and it hurts. I'm sad ... I don't know how to go through it.
1 chrisjhoops answered
First I want to tell you that you did the right thing. It is not good for you to build a family with a person who has no support and is eternally depressed. Even if she had stayed with him, you would not have been very happy and calm. It may have been bearable at this point, but in a few more years it would weigh far more and you would post a topic here that would not be positive at all. You suffer because you loved. You feel bad that he accepted the separation lightly and did not show that he cared. It sucks that he didn't support you. It hurt before you broke up with him, now these emotions just have a stronger voice and you define them as a strong lack. Yes, you miss it, but behind that lack there is much more, there is pain from the things that are the reason for your separation. It's probably hard for you to accept that you didn't have a chance to speak on the subject, to share, that he didn't want your explanations. You may miss your moments and the image you have built for him in your mind more than you really miss him and everything between you. What do you miss? That he didn't support you, that he was regularly gloomy, that he was trampling on a situation, that he wasn't developing, that he wasn't standing still and there was no security? Imagine you were together and ask yourself, what would happen, what is the most logical thing to happen? Give yourself time to overcome it, but believe that you have made the right choice. If you hadn't done it then, you would have felt lonely for years while there seemed to be a man next to you. No one else can understand your pain, but since you left him and now you feel bad, you must have seen something in him that you knew you could not come to terms with. You did something difficult, to make it easier for you in the future. You have protected yourself and your future children, a man who does not support you is not a man with whom you should share your life. You may have loved him, but he wasn't your man. It will pass, think things over a few more times, pour out your pain and wait for the day to come when you will feel better.