Infidelity ……… .How did I do it, and why? ............. I have been married for 18 years. My wife is beautiful, smart, she has a great body, she is a dream woman. I made this dream come true. From the first day I met her, I wanted to have her physically, and 2-3 months later I wanted her whole-soul and body. I got it… ..And what did I do ???? Last year I worked on Sunny Beach. I said to myself: Now or never. I looked around and saw a woman who met my requirements and who responded to my wishes, who also wanted to be with me. We had sex several times. The sensations were good. It was romantic: summer, sea, night, man and woman.
She left if I had finished then. I was sunk, I retreated. 20 days later I went through her town - we had sex. Then we talked on the phone. In a few words: I gave her, the other, what is only for my wife. My wife was there, next to me, but it seemed to lose its shape. The other one annoyed me, sometimes, but I didn't tell her / showed it /, the other one wanted me to go to her for the weekend, at least, but I didn't say I couldn't, because ……… because I didn't ask myself questions, let alone and answers. I drove downstream, hoping everything would subside on its own. I didn't know where I was, who I was, what I wanted… ..I was confused, I was lost. I was wondering who I am, what I am, why I am …… .. Then she, the other one, started her internet/skype / and we talked on skype. At the same time, I was chatting with another woman / from a site that is not for dating /. I acted like a stray cat. I deleted the chronology on skype. But …………… .. one day my wife / who was on course for several months / entered the last sessions of the chat and …………… UNDERSTAND.
"A little" time has passed since then / 3 months /. Days and nights full of pain, of hope, of sorrow, of tears, made unspoken accusations, with revelations for each other. Days and nights are full of sorrow and love. Hell and a little heaven. My wife doesn't trust me anymore, and how could she, right? She doubts everything about me, about me, but how can I blame her - she didn't betray me, I AM THE TRAITOR! I behaved inappropriately when she realized that I had cheated. I did everything the other way around. Not on purpose. That is who I am. Instead of falling to her knees and roaring, begging, begging, showing her that she was important to me, I sat in a stupor, waiting for her to say if I deserved it if she would accept me as I was blackened. / Men, if a woman deserves - mine, for me, deserves the most - do whatever you want, but also show that you love her, that you want her, that you repent, that you are guilty, that she is everything to you …… / I sat and was silent like… ..
I don't know-what-what, I wanted her, I loved her, ………… but I was silent. Even worse, that when I called I made things even worse. In short: I acted like an idiot. I find it difficult to write. I can write many more things но .but. I want to tell you what's worst: I know I love her. I know that she loves me / she shows it to me unequivocally, constantly / I know that we will live together / I hope / I know that we will laugh, we will have a good time together. I know, I know, I know ………… but I lost her trust. I will never be able to say to her again: "Believe me!" - and for her to believe, just because I say so. I don't know about you, but for me, it's very important, very deplorable, very nasty. I love her and she will never believe me ………… .. that we will live together / I hope / I know that we will laugh, we will have a good time together. I know, I know, I know ………… but I lost her trust. I will never be able to say to her again: "Believe me!" - and for her to believe, just because I say so.
I don't know about you, but for me, it's very important, very deplorable, very nasty. I love her and she will never believe me ………… .. that we will live together / I hope / I know that we will laugh, we will have a good time together. I know, I know, I know ………… but I lost her trust. I will never be able to say to her again: "Believe me!" - and for her to believe, just because I say so. I don't know about you, but for me, it's very important, very deplorable, very nasty. I love her and she will never believe me ………….
1 spriggankazuto answered
If she could accidentally see what you wrote from somewhere, I think she will feel better;) You really love her, don't despair. There are obviously such moments in marriage! You will overcome it. Good luck and good luck!