... Hello! My wife is 21 and he is 23. We had a two-year relationship until I packed my apartment. He is extremely human, careful and delicate in communicating with people. I would say that I do not know a person who does not feel sympathy for him. He has had a family problem for about 4 months - their business went bankrupt, his father sold him the car without even asking. My man was almost devastated by the loss of his luxury Mercedes. It seems ridiculous to me! I come from a family of doctors and I have been taught not to be petty when it comes to material things. I ask my friend the question directly: "Do you grieve for the car or because of the troubles in your family's life?". I still didn't get an adequate answer, and he tried to make me feel bad too. That's how we became two people who make "company" and waste packets of handkerchiefs. Of course, there is no adequate way to help him. His next stage of killing negative energy .... Unfortunately, all this burden falls on me. He started behaving rudely to me, telling me how to walk, how to dress, to be careful what I said (an incident in a restaurant, after which I had no appetite, but no problem ... I cried and he came to me calm down). I feel offended that he does all this in front of people outside. I understand that he criticizes me at home, but ... After pointing out his mistakes, he apologizes and redeems his mistakes with gifts. Well, am I not some kind of mutres? !! I want him to apologize and give an adequate answer for his apology - how and why he thinks he should apologize. well, he couldn't give a meaningful answer. He roared, and I packed my suitcase. Now I'm writing from the hotel room and thinking about all this little farce. I wonder if it's all over? !! Should I look for him or leave the initiative to him. Can I have a constructive opinion? !!
1 getondown answered
I think give yourself and him some time. As far as I understand, you want an explanation for his apology, to make sure he realizes his mistake. However, even in the realization, he may think in a different way exactly what he has hurt you with. That's why it's probably not an adequate answer for you. The car ... apart from the fact that it is a vehicle, very good in the case, it was still something like the icing on the cake. with the loss he had to realize that the peaceful material life had already passed. I think that was the shock for him. Think, calm down first and when you are ready not only to insist on "yours", but in conversation (without pressure for apologies and the like) to say how you feel, but to listen to him as well. It is not easy for him at all, with everything that happens at the moment, he loses you too. He may even have deliberately provoked you, after which there is nothing, .. . maybe he thinks that you will evaporate like a car. And at the moment it is exactly like that. Do not instill in him what he needs to think and feel, it means to beg him to lie to you. Learn to listen to him, to "translate" his words and actions correctly. He is weak now, you should be his support. Yes, I understand that his behavior irritates you, but this with conversation and ... that's it. No hints, insistence on explanations and the like. The bad thing is that when you leave at such a moment ... he may lose confidence in you. but that's a conversation and ... that's it. No hints, insistence on explanations and the like. The bad thing is that when you leave at such a moment ... he may lose confidence in you. but that's a conversation and ... that's it. No hints, insistence on explanations and the like. The bad thing is that when you leave at such a moment ... he may lose confidence in you.