Hi, I'm a 20 year old girl. I have had a new friend for 3 months, who is 27 years old. We haven't had sex with him yet, no matter that I've slept with him many times. Before him I had only 1 serious friend, who was also my first sexual partner. We were together for 2 years, but I would say that in sex I was a full tree. I've never been ashamed of him, I haven't worried, but when the time comes to have sex, I start to worry and shut down. I never took the initiative, I never told him I was having sex and I was never on top. I don't even know how he put up with me, because I was literally like a tree. I always wanted to change this thing in myself, but alas ... After we broke up I had another sexual partner who was just a "sex friend". I don't know why with him, but I was completely relaxed. I never had any reservations, maybe because I didn't care about him at all and we only saw each other for sex. He didn't predispose me, if you think about it, I just went to them and we immediately grabbed each other, and after the sex - who came from where. We stopped contact and now, as I mentioned, I have a new friend. He is good, patient, takes care of me, I see that he cares for me. I'm also pretty engrossed in it. We have been together since the beginning of November, and in the last 1 month I stay with them. I've stayed with him about 9-10 times, but nothing ever happens. The first time I went to them, he "pushed" me to say it, but I pulled away because I didn't want him to think it was easy, even though I really wanted to do it. The next time I stay in them we just lie down, cuddle, watch TV and fall asleep. He hasn't touched me once since then, maybe he's waiting for me to give him a sign, I don't know ... I already want to, the last 3 times I go with the attitude that we will do it, but when I go to him, the courage it evaporates and again nothing happens. We talked a lot about sex, he's really very understanding, he asks me what I like and what I don't. He tells me that the most important thing for him is to give pleasure to his partner, so he asks me such things. I really want him, I just go crazy when I see him, but until then ... I'm out of town on business now, but in 10 days I'm about to go home and I guess things will happen. I can't wait to go home and see him, but I'm also terribly worried that the moment will come when we will have to have sex. I'm worried about how I'll look in his eyes. I have a round ass..no, I'm not fat, just my ass is bigger, but obviously he likes it, because he's crazy about me too. After all, if he didn't like me, he wouldn't be with me. But this fact worries me. I get thoughts like, "Well, am I going to look fat in this position" or "am I doing it right" I also have nothing to do when I'm on top. I'd feel pretty embarrassed for him to look at my body completely ... I'm terrified. My ex-boyfriend and I tried to drink alcohol before we had sex, and to tell you the truth, it was much better. I drink 2 big ones and I relax a little or a lot, but I don't know if that's the solution. However, I don't think it's appropriate to drink every time before sex ... I really want to change this trait of mine, he adores me, I see him, he constantly compliments me, he adores my body, but I get it in my head that "my ass is big" and that's awful. I think it's a big complex for me ... Please give me some advice. He is much more experienced than me, he has had many partners and I do not want to disappoint him.