Hello! Maybe I've been following the site from the beginning and for the first time I will obviously have to write here. In short for me because I think it will be helpful to understand the whole picture. I live in London, England. Perhaps one of the most unfriendly cities in the world. The chance of falling for normal people is probably approximately equal to hitting a large amount of money from the lottery. You could say that I am an extremely difficult character. I am very proud and find it extremely difficult to let people in. I need a lot of time to perceive someone and usually when this happens they have already shown their horns and I realize that it is not worth it. I don't like to talk about my problems or at least I find it very difficult, I also don't like to show that I have them. I experience everything, alone inside and I try not to disturb others. But unfortunately, I also have a limit and when I get very close, I disconnect from the world, I don't even hear and perceive what I am being told. And that's how I think I'm hurting, insulting people who are really napping about me. I also think that everyone needs personal space and I don't like to be intrusive. And I am often asked why I split. I had a lot of friends when I came to England, mostly with problems. In the beginning, I helped most of them not to stay on the street. My job was expensive, but temporary. Then, when it was over, I had to go to London, but there my luck left me temporarily. I worked for a company for two months that decided not to pay me and I was left with one foot on the street. I had a roommate who was trying to impress my girlfriend and told me about my problems. Whereupon they decided together that they will buy me a ticket to Bulgaria without asking me because I can't get up .. If one of my closest people refuses to leave, he told me - take the ticket and go to Bulgaria to be fucked. fuck you're not here. I ended all relationships with everyone, even those who checked me from time to time to see if I was alive. I bet everything valuable in a pawn shop just so I wouldn't stay on the street. I decided that I would no longer deal with anyone and would only look at how to develop. I found a low-paid job and there I met an amazing family, Bulgarians. There was room with them and I changed my accommodation. In the beginning, our relationship was - hello - rent money - bye. Quite normal for England. It so happened that we started working together for a few months. I got to know them as people, I liked them a lot, and little by little they earned my respect, which had never happened before. Subsequently, my landlady and I stayed alone at work together and became very close friends. Later, these people made me feel part of the family. They did an awful lot for me. They believed me and until then no one had done it. I even started to like the holidays around them. Even when I suffered, a serious accident at work was still with me and I heard some of the strongest words I have ever heard - remember that you are not alone. And so until 2-3 weeks ago. I received bad news from Bulgaria. I shut myself in, I ignored the world for a while. I did not tell anyone what happened, although it was obvious that there was a problem. They tried to talk to me, but without speaking on my part. I'm just so engrossed in my problems. I felt that at times my landlady did not like it after trying to talk to me. When it all subsided and I began to recover, I began to feel as if I had killed someone. Although I was silent the whole time. And I already notice some change after that. When I go to see them, I feel like a stranger, which makes me keep quite a distance. I do not know what to do. I want to keep them as friends. I am asking for advice. I am open to constructive criticism, don't feel sorry for me :)
1 vxxxlvids answered
Well, just share with them, as you did here. They want it, and you push them away. This is how people get closer, sharing. Or you may feel better if you talk to them. It's so simple...