Hello. I have a wife with whom we have not had intimacy for a long time. It doesn't matter why, but it really is. We really live as a brother and sister. I love her very much and I hold on to her. I try to make sense of things, to appreciate seeing her every day, that I couldn't live normally without even seeing her. I want to find intimacy with her on a higher level (if there is one) that is not polluted and dependent and hurtful, but rather spiritual. I try this because I simply have no other choice, but also because I want to survive the ordeal of life. But it is very difficult for me to feel this way, because I am quite an earthly person and I am looking for the earthly. I can't have it, how can I survive I'm really happy to see her, to be able to talk to her, she's so wonderful, I want to find happiness in being able to have her in my life, even in this physically intimate way. As you can guess, it is difficult for me to achieve (completely) the above, but I believe that if I make sense of it and feel it, it should help me feel happier. If anyone has encountered such thoughts and difficulties, please share.
Answers 15
Well, talk to your wife and you're done, what are you wondering ...
It is written as a poem. Take it and say it in plain language, not to dodge. From what I learned from your story, your wife is beautiful, but you don't have sex. I must have a lover. Gay from Korea
Masturbate. I `m not joking. If you have so much sex, there is no other option. Why doesn't your wife have sex with you? It is important to say so that we can give you adequate advice. If she has been raped / disgusted by someone, forget about sex. I am in such a situation and I know how difficult it is. Just thinking about a man makes me sick. Perversion and porn totally ruined men. If she is ill with something or has simply lost interest in sex, seek professional help. It's certainly not easy.
And at the same time fuck her, brother. Brother.
Communication is important. Otherwise, you can try to breathe in one tone or some different experience that unites you - for example, dancing.
From the author Because you ask about the reasons. Well ... I didn't want to go into details, I actually hurt her, probably if I had been more patient with my demands, things would probably have turned out better. She had been with me physically on duty for years, and at one point she decided she wanted to get out of it. And probably her nature / development is such that she doesn't need attention / sex / love ... or at least not with me. Whatever it was, it was, now we live together, but at a distance from each other. I need to see her, I can't imagine life without her. At the same time, I am a man in the marrow of my bones and my blood boils from time to time. I have the attitude that a man is not only a body, there is something more that I think is the most important part of a man and that is why it is my search, I want to achieve a spiritual connection with this woman and find peace. in this, in yourself,
"It doesn't matter why, but it's real." On the contrary, it is very important WHY he does not want sex with you. In order to be able to do this, you need to understand the cause and overcome it with joint efforts and / or specialized help. Otherwise you will stand on dry land and pretend to be a Buddhist lama with tales of spiritual elevation to a high level, etc. You twist things and sort them out of sorts and x ... to the end and the soul in heaven. But this cannot happen.
And was a man say first on the wheel of his years? and why did you put this topic here in sex and not in family or spirituality? You are mentally wrong, how come you fall so low and you are without character and without self-confidence because of a woman !!! aren't you a man ... where is the masculine in you was !!! you make her sit in front of you and you talk like a man and not like a mold and you say what's bothering you and if she reacts indifferently or coldly you beat and joke and that's how I'm going to cry for someone who doesn't care about me or my feelings or my masculine needs that Gosbod created in me.
It is platonic love, while the wise think, the mad go mad. If you like it that way, what else do you want, the other level after the mental is the physical, which you do not recognize. You keep the soul, there will be worries about the rest!
So your wife is so beautiful, but she's not having sex with you. I wrote about this in another topic. Women spend a little time in family life and then can't look after their husbands, but otherwise they don't give a fuck, as Bratan said. She even fucks that you have no idea, she must be ready for all kinds of threesomes and sadomasochism while you recite poems about her beauty. The bad thing is that she may already have a new one that will satisfy her well. What to do, sit down and talk. If she doesn't want to live with you, you send her away. And the fact that your happiness depends on a woman, if she is to be a goddess, is very bad. You are a separate person, with your own interests and needs. To worship her so much means that you have completely neglected yourself, and she will act on your dignity. Women are not the princesses you think they are. On the contrary, they can play the role of a beautiful, happy wife so well, and at the same time fuck three times a week. You have to change your view of things. Male 26
I'm just learning about Maslow's Pyramid about needs and motives. According to Maslow, in order to reach the development of the personality, you must first satisfy 4 levels of needs: 1. Hunger, thirst, warmth, shelter 2. Security - your life is not in danger 3. Continuity - not to be rejected by society , to have a role in it 4. Approval Therefore, I think that if you can't fulfill the role, there is no approval, there is no development, because the motive remains of continuity. As you say, you want to love her on a higher level, but you are too down to earth. Of course you are earthly. I don't know what literature you read and what philosophy you follow, but if someone tells you that he is growing spiritually, personally, etc. suppressing your needs and not satisfying them, then something is wrong. You demand impossible things from yourself.
Well, as far as I understand, you raped her in some way ... For years? ... And now you're trying to make things right? Cant happen. I guess when you think about intercourse, her gut turns. You men are such cattle and such huge shit shit in your relationships, then you complain. I wonder how you enjoyed something your wife didn't want? Where was your love then? You are right only because man is not only a body but also a soul. Unfortunately, most men are just a body and you come to your senses late, if at all. As I said in my previous comment, when I saw a man and I vomited.
How come, author, she was physically with you on duty? Everyone will be disgusted if they have to have sex with someone they don't want. Sex does not happen with pressure, pleas, bribes and I do not know what, sex happens when you provoke the other's desire. Everything else sooner or later leads to either total intolerance or infidelity. If a desire cannot be aroused between you, it may be time to separate.
There are paid women in Bulgaria. You satisfy the physical need, without spiritual infidelity!
Run, man. This is agony. There is nothing you can do about it. For you it is only sorrow, torment. I've been this way. I was very tormented by "why?". There were no signs of "another." Later it turned out that there was. I am angry about the time and nerves lost in trying to fix our relationship. I'm angry that she didn't tell me to go straight to the other one. Apparently not everything was okay with him and she kept me just in case ... for a while. This time was a nightmare for me, but they say hope died last.