Briefly my story, a middle-aged woman engaged in tourism in the summer I am from a small Black Sea town. 20 years ago my mother transferred apartments to me and my sister, leaving one for herself. Over time, my sister married and sold his apartment, he went to live in the capital and the money was spent for good and bad, but not for housing. After a while I realized that my mother's apartment was sold to my sister so that I have no right to it. Anyway, sister she would look after me and help my mother with money and what is needed there conditionally, it was not written in the contract. Yes, but not everything was just a big lie, enough to get to her property. I live alone, my income is only the summer and I distribute it for the whole summer, during which time I helped my mother in spite of everything.Yes, but this year a bad thing happened to me. I got 2 disc herniations, my legs stiffened, I had surgery, I will not tell you how I spent the summer, what pains I worked with. My dear mother once did not help me, she went for walks and she was living her life. At the moment she is harassing me for money, I can't help her, so much money went to doctors and tests I am currently the worst daughter. I spit in front of all the neighbors and my acquaintances that I did not take care of her. such malice and I stopped talking to her. And I wonder how I will cope in the future. To add that she is 67 years old healthy with a pension of BGN 200, not very big but still something. Tell me how to do , why is she so ungrateful and do I have to do something.My dear mother once did not help me, she went for walks and lived her life. At the moment she is harassing me for money, I can't help her, so much money went to doctors and tests I am currently the worst daughter. I spit in front of all the neighbors and my acquaintances that I did not take care of her. She looks at me with such malice and I stopped talking to her. And I wonder how I will cope in the future. To add that she is 67 years old healthy with a pension of BGN 200, no is very big but it is still something. Tell me how to act, why it is so ungrateful and do I have to do something.My dear mother once did not help me, she went for walks and lived her life. At the moment she is harassing me for money, I can't help her, so much money went to doctors and tests I am currently the worst daughter. I spit in front of all the neighbors and my acquaintances that I did not take care of her. She looks at me with such malice and I stopped talking to her. And I wonder how I will cope in the future. To add that she is 67 years old healthy with a pension of BGN 200, no is very big but it is still something. Tell me how to act, why it is so ungrateful and do I have to do something.She looks at me with such malice and I stopped talking to her. And I wonder how I will recover in the future. Let me add that she is 67 years old, healthy with a pension of BGN 200, not very big, but still something. Tell me how to act, why she is so ungrateful and do I have to do something.She looks at me with such malice and I stopped talking to her. And I wonder how I will recover in the future. Let me add that she is 67 years old, healthy with a pension of BGN 200, not very big, but still something. Tell me how to act, why she is so ungrateful and do I have to do something.
Answers 20
She gave you an apartment. Is this nothing?
Now, .. this is a topic on which everyone thinks and feels differently. According to the upbringing, the connection with the family, etc. I consider it a moral obligation to help my parents when, as well as with what I can. The fact is that they have never taken advantage, exceeded their rights or anything like that. They have always been there for me, if for some reason at the moment I could not respond to something, it was never a problem. In the sense that friends are. But I also have the feedback. As far as I understand, this is not exactly the case with you. There is some competition between you and your sister, which naturally reflects on your mother. You say that your sister spent the money from the apartment, but you don't say why they didn't furnish the apartment in Sofia with this money, a car, treatment? Your silence ... I don't know how to understand it, maybe the cost is completely justified, but I don't tell you. With the other apartment, what will your mother do is just her job. Here you can see your resentment, but also your malice. Otherwise, apart from that, which should not affect you even without that, you have the full right to be able or not. However, do not look for excuses in your sister, in your "bad" mother, where she also helped your sister (and again you did not indicate a motive / reason for what exactly she helped). Normally, it would not be a problem for you to openly say that a large amount went to your treatment. If this is the only thing you can't help your mother in need of, then she would naturally NOT stop talking to you. So, it seems to me that in addition to impossibility, there is also talk of reluctance caused by ... envy (?) Towards the sister or another, no less ugly reason. No matter what the reason, however, You can easily tell your mother that at least for the moment you are not able to help her, and if you want that, she should not rely on you at all. I have often seen comments here that when you leave your father's house, you should almost forget these people. I am sure that they are from people who do not know what family, love, respect is. Subsequently, they cannot normally have such a family, because they are guided by their own oppression. Well, I am of the opinion that I owe all the respect I am capable of to my parents in the first place and for me it is a matter of personal happiness to know that I am fine and if I am not, to be on my side to do what I can. that yes. that when you leave your father's house, you almost have to forget these people. I am sure that they are from people who do not know what family, love, respect are. Subsequently, they cannot normally have such a family of their own, because they are guided by their own oppression. Well, I am of the opinion that I owe all the respect I am capable of to my parents in the first place and for me it is a matter of personal happiness to know that I am fine and if I am not, to be on my side to do what I can. that yes. that when you leave your father's house, you almost have to forget these people. I am sure that they are from people who do not know what family, love, respect is. Subsequently, they cannot normally have such a family of their own, because they are guided by their own oppression. Well, I am of the opinion that I owe all the respect I am capable of to my parents in the first place and for me it is a matter of personal happiness to know that I am fine and if I am not, to be on my side to do what I can. that yes.
Are you the younger sister? So it is with us little ones. They have us as second-hand people and they always ignore us. I am like a third child and not to mention what the situation is ... Your mother does not deserve good treatment from you! Next time she asks you for money, tell her to go to your sister to get it from her. Wow, how annoying
You don't owe anyone anything, if you don't have your own home, raise money for it, live your life and run away from people like your mother and sister.
You owe her, of course. She transferred an apartment to you. And your sister has to help her, too. But it is clearly not written in your contracts. So the obligation of both of you is only moral. You decide whether to help her.
Don't feel obligated to go and indulge her at all. And you are a living person and you have to respect yourself, then everyone else, be they parents
Don't feel like a bad daughter! Let her ask for help from the other sister. You shouldn't feel bad and help with everything, rest and get better and start thinking positively and you should live your life. Have fun with friends (if you don't have any). God help you and good luck!
Ooo, once you accept the apartment she gave you, you owe it, it doesn't matter that your sister took two apartments. She owes just as much as you do, and the fact that she manages to find a good reason for your mother not to help, and you can't, is only to your detriment. The woman managed to buy three apartments when she was only 40 and a few years old and at the same time raise you. Ask yourself now you are 40 and a few, did you manage to achieve even half of what she achieved at your age, and will you ever succeed? Instead of approaching this woman to gain life experience, you run away, and she can only be of use to you. You and your sister are used to taking apartments ready-made, and why not gain experience in buying so many apartments?
From the Author to number 2 First there is no malice with the transcription of the apartment, for me it was a shock because I learned as a result that it was transcribed to my sister and my son-in-law in half with a verbal agreement to watch her help her, etc. and with purchase sale so I have no right to anything. The money from the first apartment sold did not buy anything, they spent on excursions and clothes. Tell me number 2 what guilt I have for my sister's actions to harass me. Still, she loves my sister more, and she is most important to my mother, even though she was treated so meanly
To number 8 The woman, ie my mother, failed to buy anything, the apartments are from my grandmother and my grandfather, I insisted that she copy them to us because all 3 of them would be sold at the moment. Anyway, whoever crushes anything, it itches.
I would do the impossible to help her. After all, the mother is a person who has always been by your side and supported you ... at least in most cases. Look for a job for the rest of the time and you will be able to help her. If you live alone, you will be able to give her some money. What do you do all day at other times? You can look for a job that requires mental rather than physical work. Does your sister have a child / children? If so, most of your sister's money goes to the children and she has more expenses and can hardly help her. This is the reason why he wants money from you. Put yourself in her shoes. money aside, but it's also very hard because both her daughters don't help her. Have you read the book "Grandpa Gorrio"? If you haven't, they highly recommend it, you can change your mind after reading it. What did you graduate from? Can you work as a secretary, teacher or something else with mental work? In my opinion, this is the solution to the problem. you just have to find a job for the rest of the time. Just think how much care, if you will, and money this woman has thrown at you. Success! By the way, I wondered what you do in the summer to have enough money for the rest of the time? * D *
At number 11 my sister has no children, I have a child, I am a single mother, my son is already big. I help him when I can and with what I can, but to work to support my dear mother will not happen with the attitude she has and she is still ungrateful for everything I give her. And what do I do, I do tourism, I have a travel company. I close the topic, thank you to everyone who was so kind to share their opinion on the topic. I made the decision for myself. I'm tired of being trampled. I am also a non-ATM person. Thanks.
Author, I will only tell you that you set a good example for your son, if tomorrow he treats you like this, I hope you do not complain again here. The apartments can't be from your grandmother, all Bulgarians know when the apartments were built in Bulgaria. You can't convince us with data that you almost saved the family apartments by taking them. No matter how you think about it, knowing what filial love you have for your mother, she was an ATM for you at least for the first 20 years of your life, she copied your home separately, you now think you don't owe her. Ok. You can now transfer your apartments to your son and complain here in a few years that he will not be your ATM. The wheel is spinning don't forget! Children follow the example of their parents.
number 13 if you don't believe and you don't know what the situation is better don't write, my son has an apartment and he would never treat me like that because he didn't go to work hungry like me, he didn't support his mother like I supported her because she stopped working at 50. So please don't want your opinion any more keep it for you.
13, come and tell it to my grandmother, who, in addition to apartments, also had a villa. :) Author, excluding the part with the apartments (in the end, if she wanted she could have burned them and you can only be grateful to her with your sister), if you do not receive human treatment and elementary understanding from your mother, you are right its just not dealing with it. But you don't have to ask her for help, in any form. Take care of your health! :)
As a person who knows two and two hundred and more ... I think her pension is enough to survive. This is the problem with older people - they always look to complain and rely on others. He will be brutally deprived, but he will survive. When I was a teenager and lived alone, no one regretted that I had no money and, for example, that there was only one cheese and butter in the fridge ... but when you see an old man counting his pennies, tears and roars immediately! Wait a minute! Ah, you haven't fixed your life in sixty years ... what do you expect and from whom? He has so much and he has so much. If she wants more, she earns more ... as you are also a daughter and especially as you do not have one, you are not obliged to help her. It's cruel, yes, but it's true. If, there was money and you could spend better, but since you don't have it, don't feel obligated to help her. She crushed it herself!
Author, you may not believe it now, but the same fate awaits you one day. Your mother was not obliged to give you the apartments as a gift, if she had sold them, she would have had money. You and your sister are just ungrateful daughters, but your son will take revenge on his grandmother.
I would sit down and talk to her, and if she kept looking at my sister like a painted egg and insulted me, I would erase her from my life. I am a person who loves and hates very much. And I'm not interested in family ties. If an unpleasant attitude towards me turns into a relapse, I turn and tear a page from the book, crush it and burn it. AKATIM
Number 17 How many years do you think you will live by selling an apartment? . Cash is running out, my sister sold it after 2 years, none of the money was there and nothing was bought. This is not about the apartments but about the attitude towards me, I have always helped and helped with what I could, I happened to be unable for a year and here I am bad, ungrateful and what or not yet. What if I die, who will help her? She didn't lie sick on the bed and I dumped her. My son is trying to explain to her that she is wrong, he sees what is happening is not a small child. But she doesn't listen, she just says they have to, they don't, I don't have to do anything to anyone, but they've already killed him.
19 as well as to deceive him and you are morally and legally indebted to your mother. She has the right to sue you for alimony, you know that?