How Offended Would You Be?

The Story

Hello, First I want to emphasize that I do not care who is wrong and who is right here, but just how much you would be offended. Therefore, I will try to describe the incident in as neutral a way as possible. A young family with a small child living abroad invites X (a very close relative living in Bulgaria) to visit for the second time (the first time was a few years ago, before even thinking of a child ) for a stay of several weeks in their home. This invitation has been valid for a long time, but for one reason or another it is only "now". The family pays for the plane ticket and all the expenses in general and organizes an additional trip to an interesting city with a short stay there of 2-3 days. But X doesn't seem to care about the city at all. He doesn't look at the buildings, or the interesting objects on the road, or even take pictures. Quite frequent stops are required during the tour for X to go to the toilet for a small need. However, on the morning of the second day, X announced that he had a muscle fever and frayed thighs from the previous day and would therefore be staying at the hotel. The family just walks around the city (because of the child). This complete lack of interest continues after returning from the city in question. The family provided X with a SIM card, which turned out to be incompatible, but also a paper map of the city, as well as a prepaid card for public transport. The family goes to work, takes the child to kindergarten, returns and sees X sitting in their home and clicking on the computer. He doesn't go out to see what has changed over the years, he doesn't even walk around the new neighborhood where the family lives. And so every day. This gives rise to jokes - that X is behaving antisocially, not to do something. Everything in the circle of the joke. A few days later, during a walk in a nice neighborhood on Saturday, X started posting scathing comments about the walk. And here a dispute arises. When asked why he doesn't come out, X answers that he is worried that he will get lost. There was no roaming, and since X's phone didn't recognize the SIM card, he couldn't call if something happened, and without a cell phone he couldn't find his way around. The family does not accept the argument. However, X has come here before and then there were no such fears. X replies that a lot of time has passed since then and that people change over time. Arguing that he could just use a paper card (as he had the previous time), X shrugs and says that times are different, and that the last time he at least had a phone to keep in touch with. if something happens. He also says that he toured the city for the first time. X came here to see both the family and their child. It's one thing on Skype, it's quite another face to face. The family is not left with such an impression, however, and is of the opinion that X is lying to them, that he came by force and that he has delayed his arrival so many times on purpose, because he is simply not interested in them. X replies that is not the case, but does not know what he can tell them to convince them otherwise. He / she then asks why they have not come to Bulgaria to see relatives for so many years. The family replies that it's because of work - they work a lot, and besides, they can't travel such long distances due to health reasons that are too personal to share. X responds immediately, that he / she also had health problems and therefore did not want to walk. However, X continues and asks why we hear and see each other on Skype so rarely and for such a short time. The reason is that a child is still being raised, that Skype conversations still sometimes get cold, including for the child, especially on weekends when the family wants to take a break from the work week. And, as normal as it is for grandparents and other relatives to enjoy the grandchild, the line must be drawn at some point. This is not a reality show. "Ah, I don't believe you!" Lie to me - X answers - you are just making excuses. In fact, you don't care about us and you want to beat the numbers! With that, the walk was abruptly stopped and everyone returned, despite the child's protests. X tried to apologize. At the next Skype conversation with grandparents, X was demonstratively handed the phone - to juggle between conversations, to play with the child and in the meantime to maintain the focus of the camera. More apologies followed. * * * So here I ask the following questions - if you were on the side of the family, how much would you be offended What do you think of X? If the above had happened to you, how would it have affected your future relationship with X?

Last Updated
November 11, 2020