How Is It Possible - What A Jerk?

   I don't understand, has he been such a "jerk" lately or has he always been? Wasn't the decision to have more than one child yours? Have you voluntarily decided to dedicate yourself to raising children and stay at home instead of working? Were all these elections yours or not? Your husband is not to blame - he does what is done to him to feel good in his skin. He takes care of himself and his comfort - it's normal - given that he started a family may be immature, but it's normal and at least does not lead to the accumulation of as much room aggression and frustration as with you. The problem is yours, because you live not for yourself, but for others, and obviously this suppression of your own desires and will does not make you happy at all. It's not your fault - you're probably raised that way and you're repeating a pattern from your own family. You don't have to carry everything on your shoulders or make sacrifices - no one appreciates them, and you don't feel happy with yourself. You are the one who lives someone else's life, feels like a victim and is not happy with her choices - you are the one who has voluntarily accepted this role and in the end it turns out that she does things directly to herself. Hence all the anger - well, it doesn't have to be that way. No one needs it - neither the children enjoy communicating with an eternally nervous, tired and grumpy mother, nor does your husband enjoy being teased when he comes home. The dog is not the problem either - it is the tip of the iceberg. Look for the roots in yourself. Think about what is happening to you, what would make you happy. You are a person in your own right, you do not need to make sense through children or family - they see that you are dissatisfied and for them your behavior is rather stressful and obsessive. You lose your life when you live for others. A woman - full and satisfied with her life, would be much more useful and desirable than them as a mother and as a wife and as a soldering center of the family. Get out of this rut ​​of unsatisfied expectations and accusations - it leads nowhere and no one owes you anything, the people around you look only at themselves and you can't blame them because it's human. You put yourself in the position of a victim - you can get out of it yourself. You have also made the choices and decisions so far - try to change your attitude towards yourself a little less so that others can change it as well. A woman - full and satisfied with her life, would be much more useful and desirable than them as a mother and as a wife and as a soldering center of the family. Get out of this rut ​​of unsatisfied expectations and accusations - it leads nowhere and no one owes you anything, the people around you look only at themselves and you can't blame them because it's human. You put yourself in the position of a victim - you can get out of it yourself. The choices and decisions so far have also been made by yourself - try to change your attitude towards yourself a little less so that others can change it as well. A woman - full and satisfied with her life, would be much more useful and desirable than them as a mother and as a wife and as a soldering center of the family. Get out of this rut ​​of unsatisfied expectations and accusations - it leads nowhere and no one owes you anything, the people around you look only at themselves and you can't blame them because it's human. You put yourself in the position of a victim - you can get out of it yourself. The choices and decisions so far have also been made by yourself - try to change your attitude towards yourself a little less so that others can change it as well. the people around you look only at themselves and you can't blame them for being human. You put yourself in the position of a victim - you can get out of it yourself. The choices and decisions so far have also been made by yourself - try to change your attitude towards yourself a little less so that others can change it as well. the people around you look only at themselves and you can't blame them for being human. You put yourself in the position of a victim - you can get out of it yourself. The choices and decisions so far have also been made by yourself - try to change your attitude towards yourself a little less so that others can change it as well.

   Powerless ... at this stage! Exactly! Prepare your future without this jerk, you called it right. Aren't the children for the nursery / garden already? Looking for a job, you know. With child support, salary and court-appointed visits for two weekends with him (basi, are you just the mother of these children) you will have the material independence and time for you, and you, and you!

   You are not right at all. If he is not well, what will you eat? Is that what you think? And since you have decided to take a dog that he has told you he does not want, you should not bother him at all and even just with the evening peeing. You call him a morrel, provided he goes to work. Is it clear to you that most women do not have the privilege to support them and do all that you do after work.

   Divorce!

   Q29 Do you realize how stupid this problem is. Your husband works to support a whole family, don't call him lazy, he's still not an ox to work without a break. He obviously doesn't like dogs. Put yourself in his place to work all day, sit down for a beer, and have your husband call you for some nonsense - who cares

   author, the problem is not in the dog, but in the misunderstanding between you. you look after the children, your husband brings the money, at first glance things are fair. however, you do not seem to have common interests, goals, understanding and respect. as you write, making a dog is your sole decision, because it's nice to go out instead of bleating in front of the TV. however, did you ask your husband for his opinion on the matter? does he want it children are clear, they will want it, but care is mainly for adults, especially when they are young. accordingly, your husband is doing you a disservice and does not return in time to spend it. at least from the side it does not seem that either of you takes the other's opinion into account and respects it. communication and conversations are his mother of the family, not making in vain and individual decisions. talk to yourself, it's not hard.

   Be sure to start work. Even at 4 o'clock. Call your mother to help you with the children. Then, as they get older, start working full time, even if you have to pay a babysitter to watch them from time to time. Don't leave yourself without a social life and your own income ... Because if you go to divorce, the lack of income on your part can lead to the court awarding the children to him. And why sit at home as a maid?

   Selfish, he doesn't deserve to have children. Raise your children and point the door at him ...

   Well, let me tell you - a nice native picture, which, however, is a fact because of your choice. The stage will be endless - I do not see as described this jerk to change or you to leave him with two children and without a job. Still, consider an option to start working. There will be no change with him, but you can do something for yourself by leaving him after a while.

   Mila, naming your closest person like that, you can't be happy. Try it well, ask him for dinner and then go out for a walk together. And my child grumbles about the dog, but it means I'm adamant, commitment, expense and responsibility.

   Did you decide on the dog together, did you talk in advance who will take care of it? You are married, decisions are made together. So you're complaining that you're having a hard time, and you're taking on more worries? You have two children on your head for care, upbringing and training and you have decided to watch a dog ... an unreasonable act.

   He did what made him happy ... but he could only afford it because she was doing what needed to be done. Hey, this is the truth - for every person who does what he wants, he is responsible and one who does what he has to do ... Ugly picture, don't wonder why foreigners rob beautiful Bulgarian women ...

   Was he a lazy moron while you were having children? How this lazy drone feeds you and supports a whole family is not clear, is it? And no, the dog is not for the whole family, it is for the one who wanted it - for you. And in general, I've been very interested in women lately. Children and a house are difficult for you to look after most, without any regular work, there is nothing that they own. They were slaves to their husbands and children. But this does not prevent them, as well as some of the commenters, from being slaves to their employer. Your husband has flowers and roses all day at work where he probably has to deal with idiots regularly to support you. Apart from the fact that apparently your communication has been lame for a long time. I have an idea whose fault it is, but how. She has problems and the relationship has problems.

   Teach the children to wake him in the morning, to see how he looks after the children, at least in the morning to help with the duties. Ah siktir, safe from "men" like him ...

   The solution is simple. You can: A) start a job and justifiably ask to share household responsibilities; B) to separate and see if you will not feel better. Your "profession" is currently a housewife. You either do it or you change it. Grandpa Torbalan

   Madam, I am a single woman with two children. I go out in the morning at 8 and 15 and come back at 18, 15, I work, I have to go in front of the store with the bags in the evening - I cook, clean, bathe, have fun, study and what not, and no one brings my money home, and I to grumble. Sorry, but an animal at home is a big commitment. I understand your husband and I just want to lie on the couch after work and watch TV without sound - work, travel, it's expensive. What dog, for God's sake? !! Your commitments are fairly distributed, do you want two in one like me? I don't think you will.

   Number 20, and who determines what you need? The neighbors? The parents' family? What do people think is right? There are some good Bulgarian proverbs "stretch your legs according to the rug" and "he is not crazy who eats the pie" - he will go just as far as it allows. Whatever we talk about in a partnership, everyone consciously or not tests the other's boundaries and gradually adjusts to them. If both are equally prone to compromise, then it settles somewhere in / around the middle and then family responsibilities are evenly distributed. The author herself and voluntarily entered into a role that she believes is expected of her and that it is socially acceptable. She later feels cheated and finds that it doesn't suit her at all, but the wheel has already turned and the more she turns, it will be harder for her to change the picture. On the positive side, at least she is not afraid to share how she feels and to express everything she has accumulated - compared to Western countries, women here are really still forced to live in the patriarchy and comply with everything. A little less, however, this will begin to break. And the first step is to gather courage and shout that you are not feeling well. There is nothing shameful in this - to say that you feel more, that you do not get enough, that you need understanding and help! I repeat, it is not shameful and it is not a reason for condemnation or condemnation - a man facing the same duties would have screamed a long time ago. However, this does not prevent most of them from devaluing with fairy tales and belittling women's work. And yes - that's why foreigners rob beautiful Bulgarian women - because where they are to find a wife,

   As it seems from 25 comments no one understood the author's pain, she feels powerless because her husband does not allow her to command his whole life for hours and minutes. Why is her husband a jerk? Because he does not agree with her orders and from there she feels powerless. She decided to have a dog, he allowed, now she has decided that he should help take care of the dog, in addition to bringing the money for dog food and a vet, he should deprive himself of beer or lying down because she wanted a dog. however, she took a dog not to love him, but to have a reason to go for a walk. I don't know, but my opinion about people who need a dog to go for a walk or not to watch TV makes me laugh. Author, everyone draws what he has chosen / crushed /. The decision to marry this man is yours, the decision to have two children with a small difference is yours, the decision to have a dog is yours. Who do you want to blame for your decisions? Since you do not work and your husband supports you, it is completely normal for you to take care of the children, and the fact that you have satisfied the needs of a dog, what is his fault?

   Basically, I understand both of me, and I think you both need to talk more and respect each other's work. It's a fact that you both contribute to the integrity of your family, but you just have to realize it. - You - you deal with children all day, which is not easy, it is annoying and responsible. You also watch the household. - He - goes to work and gives you financial stability (because after all, if he stops working I do not know how much you can afford to buy something for children). Honestly, nowadays employers and workplace reciprocity can really drain your energy. Everyone needs free time. On the one hand, he also needs to go out somewhere, and to diversify - to share with his friends, and not every day only with you. On the other hand, it is good to agree on when you will have your evening and girlfriends. The dog - I can't tell you anything, because I wouldn't take a dog on any occasion - I see more commitments - you take him out, feed him, pay for vaccines, pay for vets, you can't organize your vacation in peace, that two weeks at sea can not come with you, and someone has to watch it. A dog requires more effort than a child. And I honestly don't understand why you took it when you feel too tired. Going out is very important for health, but it's good not to be obligated. that two weeks at sea he can't come with you, and someone has to watch him. A dog requires more effort than a child. And I honestly don't understand why you took it when you feel too tired. Going out is very important for health, but it's good not to be obligated. that two weeks at sea he can't come with you, and someone has to watch him. A dog requires more effort than a child. And I honestly don't understand why you took it when you feel too tired. Going out is very important for health, but it's good not to be obligated.

   Well, the author didn't bother him to take care of the dog, she just wanted him to show a little resourcefulness once and come home in time to stay with the children to take the dog out. And what if the man works 5 days a week for 8 hours? She and the author have gone to work, she knows that everything is up to the person and the desire. But not paying attention to your children and not caring a little about your wife, who the hell did you start a family with? !! I'm sure that the author would be able to do without a man, but since she has reason not to rely on him, that's why they are a family to help each other.

   I think you made a mistake with the dog. Do you care a little with two small children that you took another one? Your husband obviously doesn't want him, otherwise he would be involved in watching him. In general, it seems to me that he is isolated from your family life and I do not know if it happened only at his request. Once only you take care of the children, they come to you because he is tired, he may feel completely neglected by you because of the children, and now you have a dog to distract you. One kind he is a last resort. In my family, the "good" approach works well. Instead of muttering that he doesn't do anything for me, I start doing things for him. For example, "what do you want to eat for dinner, do you want me to make you ... (something I know he likes)" or "to bring you a beer, you must be tired and want to relax". My husband appreciates the care and responds with the same. We don't have a dog, but we walk in the evening sometimes. The good thing is that we don't have to do it every night, like when you have to take the animal out to pee, but only when we go out. My advice is to try to change your attitude towards him. To be more empathetic, more understanding, less grumbling. It can give a good result. After all, you chose him, and for good reason. If not, then consider the pros and cons of marrying him and draw the line. Success! less grumbling. It can give a good result. After all, you chose him, and for good reason. If not, then consider the pros and cons of marrying him and draw the line. Success! less grumbling. It can give a good result. After all, you chose him, and for good reason. If not, then consider the pros and cons of marrying him and draw the line. Success!

   Therefore, when a sister minimizes her children, she first accumulates solid funds and secures a passive income to find a handsome man to make her a beautiful child, and then loses her husband. With money, a nice child and freedom (she hires a babysitter if she wants to have fun, which I recommend to all mothers), life is a great name without having to consider anyone or anything.

   Well, before that you cried about how you want a family, children, a husband, you have them and be happy with what you have broken. And don't complain, you asked for this and you get it.

   Your husband, lady, works all day for you and the children, and you seem to be really ungrateful. How has a person been at work all day and have been panting expecting to get lost with you and your dog? If you are rested then he is shaken by so much work and needs a break because the next day at work he has to rest anyway. Not like you from one hip to another all day. Shame on you!!!

   You are wrong in this case. You do not love your husband and you have focused on the children and the dog. He feels rejected and replaced (there is a reason) and tries to compensate. In addition to the problems with your husband, your behavior will lead to problems with the children at a later age, because they will not have a real example of a good and full-fledged relationship between a man and a woman.

   Well, why did you give birth to children / not even one child / to your husband, when you consider him: "jerk", "moron" and "drone"? If she had limited herself to at least one, it would have been easier to divorce. Otherwise, about how the gentleman is shaken from work and only has to rest when he comes home, I will say the following to some of the commenters here: In Bulgaria, most women work full time and no one leaves them to rest, as they come home from work - and shopping, and cooking, and washing and ironing, and dogs walking, and studying with the children. So do not regret the poor man of the author, how tired and shaky he is from work. And watching small children all day is not as easy and fun as some people think.

   I, I watched this movie ...! Only without a dog. And my wife had decided she was very tired of babysitting and housework. And where I tore my ass to go to two or three places to work, sometimes on weekends, so that the money for everything was enough, I turned out to be a "drone" ...! I guess she compared me to something else, but at least not in front of me. One day I was fed up with another grumbling and I offered my wife if she wanted to swap places ...! I take care of the household and the care of the children, let her get to work and take care of all the finances. Well, my wife was thoughtful and said nothing ... But the grumbling about it stopped. I'm sure my wife is not happy at all ... But, this is ...! :) And the author of the topic, instead of complaining, to exchange her place with that of her husband and then to explain how it is ...! :)

   Accepted to the group by the author - as you call me! You read the comments with great interest. I will certainly think about some things, others are clear to me, others do not bother me, etc. I do not want to defend myself, but only clarify the picture of our FLOWERING life - about why I chose it so - but I am not! At the beginning of our cohabitation he was a gentleman, he was careful, I looked him in the eye for everything, he reciprocated. When the children appeared, I started to get nervous that I was devoting more time to them and not to him !? Hello, of course, it will be most of the time for them, and instead of being with us, he decided that he was very affected and distanced himself. I have tried to be together, to invent together, to flatter him, but it seems that these are the neighbor's children, not his. Over the years and time, I realized that this is a person with a very basic culture, which also affects the behavior in the family, it turned out that he is a person without ethics and morals. Ugly pictures like "Get out of here" - to me countless times, but to my mother, who came to look after the children so that we could both go out, for him they are almost everyday. This is the type of person I've always told myself that I don't even want to know - not to mention living together. Well, yes the picture was completely different in the beginning. And now I keep trying to save something of myself from an egoist, from a man who deserves neither family nor children. I forgot to say that in order to be together I had to leave my job, abandon my life here in Bulgaria - friends, relatives and go abroad to him! I started from scratch - first language, then child, that secondly and at this stage I know and manage much more than him with everything, even though I came 7 years after him. It is not easy to be alone abroad - and yes, I am not alone that I have a family. Yes, I can handle myself, but I don't know why I'm scared. Yes, I am afraid of him, of what I see of him when he is angry with me. He is angry that I talk to people, that I have acquaintances here, he mocks me for humiliating me, etc. He threatens me that he will take my children because I don't work, and I can't work because I look after the children and I can't find them. work in my specialty. I slipped, and I have more to say. The dog - after I explained to him that it is good for children to grow up with an animal, he agreed that this is so and together we took the dog - for the children. I don't want to intrude on him, not to bother him that he feeds us, but such an attitude towards me, that I do not accept and will not forgive my relatives. For now, I'm just clenching my teeth and waiting for the moment to come!

   Author, the picture is a little clearer. Bai Ganyo is complex, there is no poison, there is no salvation when Bai Ganyo knows that his wife can do much more and more. And ... do you notice how foreigners (I travel around Europe and live in one of the countries to the west) really like Bulgarian women and not Bulgarians at all :)? Orient yourself to work, see how things stand for child support and live your life, not its complexes. Success!

   38, author, what moment are you waiting for exactly and for what?

   The context is quite important. It's not bad to know if not all at least the basics of history when you seek advice, although even then it will often not be particularly good advice in general. For example, from your initial outbursts, it turns out that you are a spoiled bitch for a while. Because you have only shown your point of view without justifying yourself at all with any example of why it is such, which is generally the most important of all. After your last post, everything looks completely different. With an attitude like the one he described, there's no point in clenching your teeth. Find a way to get rid of it as soon as possible. This type suffers from spoiled child syndrome. I am almost convinced that he has no siblings and was pampered like a princess in his childhood. Such people are uniquely selfish as they grow up, and find it difficult to think of anything other than themselves. Even their own parents - those fools who spoiled them can not be given priority, no matter how much they are in need. It will not be easy, but everyone has to pay for the mistakes they make. It's yours that you didn't watch when you got married. He was like that then, but like most women, you looked at how he provoked you, instead of what kind of person he was. When you have a strong interest in someone, it's normal to pretend to be something you don't like. Especially men come from within this in general. That is why it is generally good to look not for an idiot who treats you like a princess, but for a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. as much as they are in need. It will not be easy, but everyone has to pay for the mistakes they make. It's yours that you didn't watch when you got married. He was like that then, but like most women, you looked at how he provoked you, instead of what kind of person he was. When you have a strong interest in someone, it's normal to pretend to be something you don't like. Especially men come from within this in general. That is why it is generally good to look not for an idiot who treats you like a princess, but for a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. as much as they are in need. It will not be easy, but everyone has to pay for the mistakes they make. It's yours that you didn't watch when you got married. He was like that then, but like most women, you looked at how he provoked you, instead of what kind of person he is. When you have a strong interest in someone, it's normal to pretend to be something you don't like. Especially men come from within this in general. That is why it is generally good to look not for an idiot who treats you like a princess, but for a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. but like most women, you've looked at how he provokes you, instead of what kind of person he is. When you have a strong interest in someone, it's normal to pretend to be something you don't want to like. Especially men come from within this in general. That is why it is generally good to look not for an idiot who treats you like a princess, but for a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. but like most women, you've looked at how he provokes you, instead of what kind of person he is. When you have a strong interest in someone, it's normal to pretend to be something you don't want to like. Especially men come from within this in general. That is why it is generally good to look not for an idiot who treats you like a princess, but for a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. and a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway. and a man who treats everyone well but has a stronger interest in you. Not that it is a piece of advice that many women will pay attention to, and even if they pay attention to it, they will hardly be able to follow it, but anyway.

   He really is a jerk! Work is not divided into "male" and "female", and sometimes there is more work at home than, for example, in the office, especially if there are children or the elderly. The dog is also a joy for a family and walks with him are very relaxing. My advice is to separate from this person, or find a normal one, or take care of the children and the dog on your own, I would provide you with a job if you wish! You don't need idiots!