Hello author, I will speak to you on behalf of a man who has carried this envy in himself all his life and in the end managed to overcome it. When I was a child I lived in a particularly poor family. When you see what the children around you have and what you don't have - here we are talking about even basic security for tomorrow - you are left with the impression that you are a second class person. Everyone else also sees you as such. Gradually, until puberty, I developed the belief that I was worse than others, that I cost less as a quality and as a person. During puberty it got worse, social difference also had its say. And I envied. As a child, I envied chocolates and dolls. As a teenager, I no longer envied objects, but I envied those around me because I thought they were far superior to me. My dreams were not what I would have when I grew up, and what will become like dust. Social isolation has fueled my illusion that everyone is superior to me. When envy diminished - as an adult I stubbornly, work and a lot of effort pulled to a position and call it security (although to this day it is rooted in my psyche that there is certainly nothing in this world) that would satisfy me. Let's just say that I became part of the things I wanted to be when I grew up. Large enough for me to be relatively happy with myself and achieve some inner peace. Also as an adult I realized that: 1. If your goals and ambitions are always too big, you will never be happy with yourself 2. You can not please everyone around you. In fact, there will always be an idiot who hasn't lifted his ass off the couch in his life to do something, to criticize you for how you coped. It is good to ignore them - unsuccessful people become critics, successful people act and make decisions, which implies mistakes for which many experts will criticize them. Get rid of people who explain to you how you can't and how you're wrong. Send them to look after their own lives. 3. People's lives are never as perfect as they seem to you. Don't idealize people, don't idealize their lives. Here I can give you an example with an event from my life. When I was about 16, I started helping organize small charity campaigns (nothing to do with politics). There was a girl, about 26 at the time - young, beautiful, educated, working in her specialty, she had a stable man by her side. I thought her life was perfect. Although she was a good person, I envied her a little. I met her again by chance years later, we exchanged contacts, we talked. It turned out that her life was not so perfect. Her specialty is not as well paid as I thought then, she has financial problems. The stable man I imagined when she mentioned him with an amorous look turned out to be less stable, a rude man who kept insulting and throwing things at her. Hence her beauty, he often found flaws in her, and she tried to please him. Her life is a mess, believe me, it is not perfect at all, she is a ball of nerves, and she is a nice and good girl and I sincerely wish her life to be in order. The conclusion is that you do not envy the lives of others, but some idealized idea of your life of others. So, in short, what helps against envy and constant comparison with others: 1. Helping others helps you too - it makes you realize that you are not so insignificant and that if you can't change the world, then at least you can change a person's day for the better 2. Achievements - become what you want to be. Naturally, limit your ambitions and bring them into line with reality. 3. Love - helps a lot to be really important to someone, opposes the feeling that you are small and incapable of anything. It also helps to make someone happy and make their life better. You are not powerless, you are not worse than others. You're probably more ambitious, but that's not necessarily a disadvantage. dare until you achieve some inner peace with yourself. Good luck Naturally, limit your ambitions and bring them into line with reality. 3. Love - helps a lot to be really important to someone, opposes the feeling that you are small and incapable of anything. It also helps to make someone happy and make their life better. You are not powerless, you are not worse than others. You're probably more ambitious, but that's not necessarily a disadvantage. dare until you achieve some inner peace with yourself. Good luck Naturally, limit your ambitions and bring them into line with reality. 3. Love - helps a lot to be really important to someone, opposes the feeling that you are small and incapable of anything. It also helps to make someone happy and make their life better. You are not powerless, you are not worse than others. You're probably more ambitious, but that's not necessarily a disadvantage. dare until you achieve some inner peace with yourself. Good luck
1 johnnychimpo37 answered
I think everyone envies, but almost no one admits. Envy is simply a desire to have something better that is human - no one strives to be bad. You may want to have her things, the point is not to want her gone. Is it better to fight in your chest how self-sufficient you are in front of people, and at the same time to act submissively in order to settle in someone's place at work, to sleep with another man, to slander someone "involuntarily"? Many people do this, but they will tell you a thousand tales about their unattainable wisdom, and they will never admit that they are simply attracted to someone else and are not satisfied with their own. In my opinion, you have no problem, unless you dream that your girlfriend will fail, to lose everything that they and you can afford to show off that you are over her one day.