Hello people! I'm a girl of 17, soon 18. My boyfriend is the same age, we've been boyfriends for two years. This is probably the coolest boy I've ever dated. He is smart, polite, handsome and quite "crazy", he is never bored in his company. His every action shows that he has very strong feelings for me. She does an awful lot for me, she acts like I'm the only girl on earth. Several times I caught him just looking at me with a wide smile on his face. The problem, however, is that my feelings are no longer like that. I love him, but now only in a friendly way. The two years spent with him were really wonderful, he was my "first" in many relationships - first love, first sex, etc., but I think it's time for our relationship to end. I don't think we have much more to gain from this relationship, and we're only 18. This year we are finishing 12th grade and everyone will go their own way, so separation is inevitable. Sooner or later this would happen and I think the time has come. The problem is that I don't know how to approach. I don't know how to end our relationship without hurting him or at least keeping him minimally hurt. I would like to remain friends, but I guess it won't happen, so I'm just asking for advice on how to break up with him as delicately as possible! Thanks in advance! for this just ask for advice on how to break with it as delicately as possible! Thanks in advance! for this just ask for advice on how to break with it as delicately as possible! Thanks in advance!
Answers 25
Do you know how many girls want to watch them in love, not use them, but just love them unconditionally? One day my girl you will regret, just when you experience one, two or several disappointments. You will want your first boy, you will love him, you will want him to be yours, but it will be too late because iron is forged while it is hot. Just tell him in plain text without fuss, and please forget this with friendship, a man in love and friendship tends to zero.
You will hurt him a hell of a lot, but there is no cure for it better than just him being in love and you not
To all the girls and to the author herself. Here you are all. Find the boy who meets all your dreams and ideas and want to part with him in time. But in parallel with the tone you search, think, talk and dream about the same. Some people just don't deserve love. You must be in pain, crying and suffering. Only this ... because you do it yourself. Ah, what can you tell your boy, author ... well, just show him what you wrote here. Send him a link and put an end to it. There is nothing to twist it. You will only lose yours and his time. I wish each of them to drop one such boy and then inevitably catch up with some simpleton, as the author will do as soon as she goes to university. Good luck, all the best and have a nice season of "love"
The relationship should not end, but you should do everything possible to keep it so that you do not regret it later. Do not listen to those who recommend you to become a whore with many relationships and when you are full of debauchery and want a family with no one, because no one will want a serious relationship with what you will become.
I tell you from the position of a lover. It breaks categorically, without hesitation. If this person really loves you, the slightest hope, the slightest doubt, the slightest hesitation, will make him continue to look for options and hold on to his feelings. And this will make the period after the separation very, very difficult. So, if things are really over for you, you have to be firm and assertive. It won't be pleasant for you or him, but that's the right thing to do. Success!
There is nothing to advise the author to stay with him. She doesn't love him anymore. Is it better to stay and lie to him that she still loves him? No. The boy will meet another. To the author: You sit down and tell him how you feel. Calm down. Don't offer him to stay friends, it will be even harder for him and it will be harder for him to forget you. No matter how you tell him, the bad one will come out. He will be hurt. But everyone goes through or has been through this. Number 4, to return your wish! You swear like an old gypsy, how masculine ...
Don't do it, girl! Are you crazy? What do you really want? Are you looking for some garbage .. - you will be very sorry and one day you will want to get it back, but it will be too late .... I know it from experience
No matter how you say it, it will still hurt him, so tell him as you told us here and that's it.
Some stupid comments were made here. If he really was the boy of her dreams, would he break up? Please think before you write.
I saw no reasonable reason to end the relationship. I hope this is a joke. :)
Do you want a relationship from which you need to "extract" something? Or drag something from where we can, and fuck people. So young and such a mercantil ..
# 10, instead of teaching the other commentators, why didn't you speak on the topic? We only know how to bark, but we do not give meaningful and adequate advice. Obviously, the girl doesn't know what she wants, she wants to live, and others have to suffer for that, because she didn't realize earlier that she doesn't want a serious relationship.
The girl doesn't love him anymore, what other reason do you need? The fact that someone is in love with you is not a prerequisite to stay with him. This person also deserves to be loved and looked at in this way. And this cannot be done by force. Love is not a reward.
What a waste of time to comment on this topic. The girl is preparing for a furious student life, although she does not admit it directly, for what and someone in her hometown? Let her break her head.
Don't listen to the rumors that you will be "sorry". From personal experience I tell you that the chance of it happening is minimal. If there are no feelings, the relationship is over. If there is no desire to keep the relationship, then it is over. As wonderful as your man is, he is not the man for you - so much. He does not break up delicately with a man in love. If you are delicate, it means telling him that you value him very much, you love him very much, you want to keep in touch and be close, etc. This is the delicate way. This is the way he will continue to feel valued and loved. This option accordingly carries the information for the young person that there is still a chance to be together - you are just confused, he has to wait for you, etc. Which in turn you do not think will happen. He breaks up with the man in love. You start with the scary "We need to talk," you tell him, that you don't love him anymore, you don't feel good being together and even though he's great in general you don't want him in your life. He will suffer, of course. It will hurt him. He will look for you 5-6 times, of which at least 2-3 will curse you, swear at you or something else. In others he will apologize to you, ask you for forgiveness, ask you to come together and exhort you in your feelings. He may cry. These are difficult moments for both of you, but accept them coldly and do not show much emotion until you are alone with yourself. In the future, you may eventually become friends again. I have such a man in my life. We talked to him that I had acted very adequately at the end of our three-year relationship and that it was true that if I had kept him around me after the separation, the situation would have been very bad for him. Another one after me did that, and it was a great pain to find that she really didn't want anything more than friendship. Success!
Don't expect friendship. If one side is in love, there can be no friendship. Even if he agrees to something like that, if only he is close to you and you will both understand that this is not a friendship. You have two choices, either to stay with him because he is a decent boy or to end categorically and forever, which will hurt him. Accordingly, he will always remember the relationship with pain, and friendship, if any, will be many years from now. That's the way it is in life.
I apologize that this is not exactly the answer to her question, but I would like to advise the author. I personally see no real reason not to continue the relationship. Some people can waste their whole lives without experiencing for a moment what you take for granted. Even though you are finishing 12th grade and will not be able to see each other face to face for a long time after that, this does not mean that you cannot continue your relationship as a distance relationship. It's the 21st century: there's Skype, there's Facebook ... it's not the same, but it's better than the boys who will play you at university. and you will see each other again at least once a year. This would only make the moments when you are more special together :) Yes, it will be difficult, but true love in a relationship is tested in such moments of difficulty and compromise with yourself and the world. Whatever you do, I promise you,
By comment 4-How dare you say such ugly things, have you seen how you look from the side? I do not understand how you fit so much malice and coldness in yourself? No comment. To the author - If you don't love him anymore, just dump him. I've also had a lot of relationships with guys I don't love, but I dumped them because I realized that it doesn't make sense after I feel empty again, and the boy doesn't deserve to be. lied to. To most people in the comments-Do you like it so much when you criticize others? You only know how to say what is wrong, but not to give advice on how to improve. People need understanding, not criticism and insults. In life, everything both malice returns and your complexity will return to you twice.
The author: The only and in my opinion good and sufficient reason is that I no longer love him this way. However, I have no control over my feelings, I cannot control them. No one chooses who to love and who not. I really appreciate and love him, but only as a friend. And even if it wasn't like that, he will go to study and eventually live abroad, and I will stay in Sofia. Therefore, the end of our relationship is inevitable and I see no reason to postpone it, I just really do not know how to approach!
He's already sensed something, so just sit down and talk. When he goes abroad, he almost thought about your relationship ... It won't be like thunder from a clear sky. Still, I think one day you will regret it.
No matter how worn out: "The monkey is released from the branch when it grabs another!" There is no other option, there is another, even the author may not realize it. And how often do they not realize (they seem to be crazy ?!). And I recently heard that she had no feelings for me, and that there was another is a pure coincidence ??? !!! Author, if you really don't know, answer yourself, is there anyone "just a friend" around you? There is for sure - the feelings do not just disappear, they are redirected. It is ridiculous to say that you have no future, there is more than a year until "everyone goes their own way". You say these things to calm your conscience (it's good that you still have it). The only thing is that I wanted you to spin a few dozen pieces before going student. That of leaving friends? In the last few years alone, there has been millions and billions of pieces of evidence, that the friendship between a boy and a girl - NO !!! What is the purpose of these proposals? Just in case, waiting for you as a backup while trying special things from just friends? !!
I am surprised by some of the comments. You made the author almost a devil, just because she doesn't want to be with the boy anymore. He does not like it, this is a completely valid and sufficient reason. But if you think it's better to look him in the eye and lie to him, you're wrong. If you don't mind and like to live in delusion, not everyone is. Besides, they are both super young, they don't have 20 yet. How many of you are left with the person you were with in those years? Or did they not make mistakes? In fact, I do not expect an answer, these are rhetorical questions.
It seems to you that you no longer love him "this way" because he is too sure of you and because you are fed up with his love, because you already see him as the "good boy". But if you've been together for a long time, it's a kind of infidelity. The difference is that you did not go through the ceremony in the civil or in the church and that you do not have children. Otherwise, everything else is tantamount to infidelity. It is natural that someone else has captured your thoughts, as suggested above. But with a high degree of probability, it can be assumed that if you leave him, your next relationship will not be successful and happy for you. Even if you are not sure that you will be unhappy, you have no guarantee that you will be happy in your new relationship. And here the situation becomes clear: you miss the tame to chase the wild. I would guess why your feelings for your boyfriend have dried up - because for a long time you used to just take in the relationship, without giving up. If you change this relationship yourself, which is completely in your power, you will feel how your feelings for the same person flourish with new force. It is explained by psychologists, and those are not right, mostly babes, who simply say: "My, I don't love him anymore, I can't force myself !!". This is a pretext to do whatever they want, but this way of life is not good, it is irresponsible. Because you learn in such a way that you can emotionally suck, consume the other to the end and spit it out, like some unnecessary bone. This borders on cynicism. Therefore, I think that without trying to maintain your relationship, you are stepping on the path of bitches, of cynical selfishness, which is not successful in perspective. This way of thinking makes you think that every wish of yours, whim, must be satisfied, as long as you come up with an excuse: "I don't love the ego anymore!" ... Even the fact that you are so uncomfortable to say to your friend for the change, to break, to break his heart, betrays your inner hesitation, which is actually the voice of conscience, which you are trying hard to suppress. You are accumulating bad karma.
There are many others, the same as you, who later remain single or divorced mothers, and only then do they click, and they remember how perfect it was for them with their first boyfriend in love, how wonderful it was to be infinitely loved and adored! Fresh examples with my acquaintances - things repeat themselves with an iron pattern, nothing new under the sun. And then you will start looking for it again, because you have never lost it from your thoughts, you keep it there as a first reserve, and you go to the person who loved you madly, who told you that you will never meet another who to love you as much as he does, and those words sounded like an old tired hit to you, but in your new situation alone with a child, they will ring in your memory as a lifeline. And you will start thinking about it, and trying to take you back - already with the other's child. He, of course, he will no longer look at you with that wide smile of love and those infinitely in love eyes, but he will show you his middle finger. Whether it's because you already have a wife, a girlfriend, or just dignity, but your middle finger is guaranteed. And get well in life, there are many such topics here - for single mothers with children, read them, this is your likely future. There are angry and wild women, in no way reminiscent of the sweet and radiant girls who once were.
Up to 25 Little man, right on target. You wrote such an accurate comment that it is worthy to be shown in an evening news program. Hats off.