How Do I Overcome My Feelings For A Family Friend?

   Things are very simple: 1. Close your eyes and imagine that your friend's wife is in love with your husband. How would you react? 2. Close your eyes and imagine that you have already had sex with your friend. But his wife and your husband understand. How would you react? How would you react? 3. Finally, imagine the rumors about the divorce, the children's shares in the apartment and what not? Where does your psyche go? Analyze these things and you will see that the stakes are too high to allow yourself to fall victim to this falling in love, which is not even love. After all, you are over 40 years old and you must have the will to control yourself. Ten years ago, my brother's family fell apart because my daughter-in-law fell in love with their family friend, also married, who responded to her feelings. Two bloody divorces children scattered, here at one,

   Seek help from a psychologist !!! Internet sites will not work!

   Author, if you both feel a strong enough attraction to be uncomfortable, it is most likely obvious to you and for his wife the situation is not a secret either. Such things are recognized very quickly. You sound a little naive and obviously conscientious and anxious - I don't think you will decide to take any more definite steps, you will most likely experience it secretly, without expressing your feelings, and in time it will just pass.

   If your husband is a HUMAN, not one of those zombie monkeys called alphas and primates, talk to him. Explain to him that you feel passionate and it would be good to suspend the meetings, but obviously there is a problem between you to "work on". Talk to him honestly, openly and calmly. However, if it is a primate ... this option is definitely dropped. In that case, maybe on the principle of "wedge-wedge kills" with your husband or just jokes elsewhere ...

   I don't know, but for a 40-year-old man you are not mature at all ... and you also became a parent ... Horror.

   And supposedly people like you are trumpeting that the meaning of life is children ...

   4, interesting, I know some "alpha monkeys", as you call them, and women are constantly around them, I know some "HUMANS", as you call them, and they are either alone or have a boyfriend who looks at other men as the author stares at her friend's husband. Therefore, I will politely ask you not to kill your complexes on people who are not to blame for your misfortune.

   Indulge in temptation, so you will overcome it.

   Number 4 - Do you have a family? The worst advice is to share with your husband. She will break up her family without anything really happening. Trust between them will crumble with a bang. Scandals of jealousy, insinuations, doubts will start ... I would rather advise the woman to go to a psychologist - this way she will have the opportunity to share live with someone and help her overcome her feelings. It's only a matter of time. I, in her place, would make a list of all the flaws I see in this person, and every time I think of him, I will remember those flaws. This is a technique for rejecting obsessive thoughts - you replace them with their opposite ones. Indeed, if you have the opportunity to move away from this family, it would be best.

   Number 1, I've had many sleepless nights in the last two years, imagining exactly these things and answering these questions. And the decision not to delve into it was made a long time ago. I just want to both keep this long-standing friendship and look at this person again as I looked at him before I fell in love. Number 3, I'm pretty sure his wife didn't feel anything, otherwise her attitude toward me and our meetings would not be the same. She seems to have confidence in me, which makes me feel even worse towards her. My husband is not really an alpha and our relationship has cooled for a long time. I realize that this situation has come about precisely because I feel unhappy in this marriage. But I definitely do not intend to build my happiness on someone else's unhappiness. I could share with my husband and I know that he wouldn't react violently, but I don't want to hurt him further. Number 7, I do not want to excuse myself, but children, although the meaning of life, unfortunately do not fill any void. Number 10, unfortunately I am still at a stage where I idealize it. Eventually I may really need to go to a psychologist.

   List of shortcomings? When was the last time you fell out of love with someone because they have big ears and a stubborn character, for example ... Ha-ha-ha! The only chance for the flame to go out is to never see the man again ... Tested.

   I'm 4, what, is it better to live in lies? !! I understand that some in such a situation would not overcome their complexes and egos, but such require to be lied to. Everyone can fall in love or even fall in love with another. The most normal thing is that if we want to keep in touch, talk openly with the person next to us and go through this moment together, the partner should be involved in redirecting these emotions. Another option is to hide, lie, maybe give in, and end up with a lover, a divorce, and a chirping man "why don't you tell me." And then the answer would be "well, because you're a complex monkey and I couldn't tell you that I could feel alone without you saying what and when." Some of you are very bad, both you want to be lied to and then you are uncompromising that you were not told. That's why I pointed out that the author can talk to her husband if he is HUMAN, if he is a monkey - other options. H 8, and you are a dreamer hahahahaha I am lucky to be a completely free person, so much so that I can always tell truths as they are without having to scratch the ego of complexes. I just don't allow them around me. Only the weak man needs obedient women! An obedient woman doesn't mean outspoken, though ... it means she's learned to simulate well.

   Your problems come from many external factors. If you find these factors, if you recognize how they affect you, then you will be able to fight them. It's like bad weather. It's gloomy outside, it's raining and it sucks, and most people don't feel comfortable. Most people just want to sit at home and not talk to anyone? Why? Because time oppresses them. But if the same people admit to themselves that they are influenced by time, it is much easier to ignore its influence. Find the things that make you look for another. Why did you fall in love with your best friend's husband? From the whole planet, it was he who fell. Here is my theory - You are bored. What was 10 years ago has gradually and imperceptibly passed. Now, you suddenly realize that something is wrong. Apparently you don't talk to your husband that much. Apparently the intimacy between you has disappeared. But you see, that your girlfriend has a man who, for one reason or another, is the object of your sexual and emotional needs. You can consider it more beautiful because it is different. Maybe because he is more polite to you, you think you have a future for him. Maybe you think your girlfriend is happier than you because you see her and her husband in a better light. What could be more exciting than having a new man who, at least in your head, is proven to be better than your husband. He is always nearby. Millet you have to reach out and grab it. An affair in which you risk losing your closest person and best friend gives you the feeling of a new life, a new thrill. A challenge that will make you feel alive and young. Something just makes you act like that. The important thing is to understand what it is. Once you admit to yourself, that you have a problem, as you just did, you can fight this problem. She became close to her husband again. Tell him you're not feeling well. I don't know who and what he is, but maybe it's not a good idea to tell him that you want someone who is also close to you. Try to renew your relationship. He is looking for new challenges, beyond his current daily life. Improve your relationships with other people. Children, parents, acquaintances - there is always something new to learn and do. And again - talk to her husband. Tell him you want more and you're not feeling well, otherwise nothing will change. Do not hint, but say. And one more thing - he probably feels the same way. I hope everything is fine. But you will have to make an effort to do so. but it may not be a good idea to tell him that you want someone who is also close to you. Try to renew your relationship. He is looking for new challenges, beyond his current daily life. Improve your relationships with other people. Children, parents, acquaintances - there is always something new to learn and do. And again - talk to her husband. Tell him you want more and you're not feeling well, otherwise nothing will change. Do not hint, but say. And one more thing - he probably feels the same way. I hope everything is fine. But you will have to make an effort to do so. but it may not be a good idea to tell him that you want someone who is also close to you. Try to renew your relationship. He is looking for new challenges, beyond his current daily life. Improve your relationships with other people. Children, parents, acquaintances - there is always something new to learn and do. And again - talk to her husband. Tell him you want more and you're not feeling well, otherwise nothing will change. Do not hint, but say. And one more thing - he probably feels the same way. I hope everything is fine. But you will have to make an effort to do so. that you want more and you are not well, otherwise nothing will change. Do not hint, but say. And one more thing - he probably feels the same way. I hope everything is fine. But you will have to make an effort to do so. that you want more and you are not well, otherwise nothing will change. Do not hint, but say. And one more thing - he probably feels the same way. I hope everything is fine. But you will have to make an effort to do so.

   And how did he get so carried away ...? It's been a long time since you've known each other and reunited ... and suddenly hop ... I got carried away ... and you haven't been before ... why? Because years ago you were in love with your husband, your sex was different .. there was a thrill ... you weren't bored .. that's why your boyfriend was invisible as a sexual object then .... and now he noticed it, right? You're just having sex with another man ... that's it. You're not in love ... you're deluded. And instead of hovering in the clouds, pay attention to your husband .. and don't tell me you're paying him .. when a woman thinks about another man all day, she can't give what she needs to her ... and you probably don't like sex do with it. It's a pity ... it's a pity for you, your husband and the children ... and won't you be ashamed of them, if you know that they know what thoughts you have towards: family friend: .. you shouldn't be ashamed .. they with for sure, they will be ashamed of you.

   I would share with my husband. There are no secret emotions between us. And he, as far as I know, would suggest that we involve a friendly family in shared sexual experiences. But we are cuckoos and we are an exception. I realize that for a standard family this is an unacceptable option. It has happened to me to fall in love with my friend's boyfriend, but that, excuse me, author, was in 10th grade. In adulthood, I do not believe that I can fall in love platonically, like that - without having a sensual relationship with the person in question. It seems to me that you are self-winding. You need a little action and you create it yourself. Why don't you change something with your husband? Change your hairstyles for example. Or make repairs. When it comes to sex, I will refrain from giving advice because I will startle you. Although, in fact,

   Author: comment №11 is mine.

   Well, you can't both stay friends and get away with it. If your family is more important, stop contact with this man. Em hurts em Serbs!

   This is exactly what happened to my mother. Her best friend, the one who was at home every day to drink coffee in the morning, stole her husband. My mother was broken. He barely recovered from the betrayal of both of them. The worst thing is that they had a relationship for a whole year without my mother knowing. She came home, ate our bread, pretended to be a worried and kind friend, and while my mother was at work, she took advantage. Of course, it's not just her fault, but then we found out that she did the same with other families. God lingers, but does not forget. Years have passed since then. I heard she wasn't happy. If you recognize yourself in this "nice" friend, if you want to be like her, go for it. If not - cut off contact with this family. Reasons can always be found.

   A participant in such a disgusting story is writing to you. But on the fucking side. And I answer you simply because you sound like a responsible person. Don't, please, get involved in something so disgusting. And my husband dragged her home with her husband. I cooked, I walked, I set tables, and she just slapped and fucked my husband behind my back. So how does it sound to you to read it from the side? Would you like to be in my place? Well, don't hang out with them - it's that simple. You will always come up with some plausible pretext. Your wife is a friend - don't ruin a good friendship because of something that has no future ...

   You sound like a really responsible woman who won't give in to this nonsense, I hope. In my opinion, you MUST interrupt frequent gatherings with this family. You say you are busy and ready. I am also a married man, but even such friends, to be with us every day or we with them, I do not have, I even have too much (and after reading your story, I will not find such: D). Now seriously. Limit contact with them as much as possible, talk to your husband that you just don't like it and prefer to have time for both of you. This is exactly what will bring you closer, it's not too late to try. Talk more to your husband, try harder for him and not for someone else. Bring freshness to your marriage. And if your girlfriend is looking for you, can't you just go out or hers with your husband, if you care so much about friendship? Or are the four of you glued together? I personally go out separately with my friends, my wife with hers, except on holidays and such events. What's so weird about him? Julian

   From the author: Many thanks to everyone who took a stand on the topic! You are helping me. H 17, in my opinion, my shortcomings are rather emotional. H 20 and H 21, I am very sorry for everything you have experienced. Thanks for sharing. The role of the "nice" girlfriend who secretly kidnaps her friend's husband is definitely not in my nature and I would not play her. I just wanted to have other ways to overcome the situation without having to end our relationship with them, but it is obviously time to resort to these extreme measures. Last night I even convinced my husband to celebrate the New Year in his hometown, not as we had agreed to be with these friends. H 22, I did not write that we visit every day, it can not happen because they do not live very close to us. See you once, twice, a maximum of three times a month. Yes, for a start, I will try to make sure that she and I go out separately, as well as my husband and her husband. But seeing her, she will remind me of him and irritate me, so the best option is to distract myself with other things and people and not communicate with any of them.

   In any case, do NOT talk to him about it.

   Divorce and take the person you like. If you love and like him and do nothing all your life, you will be angry. Is that what you want? To live with someone who is obviously not close to your heart (and this is the most important thing) thinking about the other. I don't know why you are humiliated by being trampled on by someone (sorry for the expression, but it's the most accurate) whom you don't love. Are you women normal at all? An idiot will drink you all his life, and you will think and dream of the better. I'm even angry that I wrote - you are very masochistic. You go and tell him. Your ugly and moldy will leave you, I do not think. That she will wash his pants, cook and give. Try your luck, whatever happens. You will not lose anything

   H 26, where it was so easy ... A total of 4 children are involved, who are still students, his wife cares for him and loves him, many people will turn against us ... It's hard for me, because lately more and more -often we often have occasions to get together with them, and we definitely look at each other especially with him.

   Author, if you will admit your feelings. The better option is your husband. He'll be "wet with a wet rag," but you still haven't done anything. And it is very likely to "startle" and do everything to restore the previous passion. This is how my wife and I got along (whether it will happen ...), when such feelings arise. The worst option is to tell your girlfriend. She will certainly not accept it well, you have already started an emotional infidelity. And for women, it's very bad and it's still better than meeting often. As it is clear, your thought goes and you do not go with the flow. I wish you to fall in love with the right person. And he is your husband. And if he still doesn't do anything and you think it's not for you. He looked for another man, but not his girlfriend's. A number 26, very "wisely" you advise. Are you waiting for one of the married to "

   Hello, It doesn't spoil like that, you're right! And I am another coward, dissatisfied with my marriage, but pressing my rags for the sake of children ... We haven't had sex for a long time and I'm crazy about a bachelor, 10 years younger than me ... But he is adamant, nothing will it happened while I was committed ... and it drives me even crazier! An absolute man on the spot and all my wet dreams are for him ... But I will not leave ... and I am grateful to this man for not flirting and giving me back my faith in men, in the real ones! I don't know what to advise you ... And I'm in an unharvested vineyard like you ... We have to give a new chance to our marriages, because no one deserves to be deceived and pushed! May you find the strength to fight for your marriage! Success!

   I don't think you need to overcome your feelings - you need to overcome your passion. You are now at an age where most women feel this way - those who are irresponsible succumb to themselves, those who are responsible are preserved and do not allow themselves to become rags. When I say rags, I do not mean what others will say about you, but how you will feel - now your passion does not give you peace, then your conscience will not give you peace. It's not my thought, and I'm not going to quote exactly, but "in your life you meet a lot of people, but you live with yourself all your life" - do you want to despise yourself for the rest of your life? I know that at your age the storm has subsided, the main goals have been achieved, the children have grown up, the career has been built, you have entered a rut and you want something to change. At your age, you somehow get a feeling that life is going well, and you haven't done much, your need for attention and respect is sharpening, you are looking for recognition, but in general you don't find it with your long-term partner - for him you its a given. It would be foolish to think that from the other you will get what you lack in marriage, that there will be interest in the new and unknown, there will be a thrill, sex in the beginning will be stormy and passionate - then ??? Relax, flirt, allow yourself more familiar behavior, but do not cross the line - keep to yourself the thoughts that the other attracts you and it will be different with him, grab your husband, imagine that with him you do what you do you want to do with your girlfriend's husband. Last but not least, I want you to say that you should not be deceived that by giving in to your thrill you will put out the fire, on the contrary, you will light such a fire that your hair will turn white - if she (the other) responds to your signals, it will be absolutely certain that it will not work for any dick, very soon she will replace you with another, and you will take the negatives from the adventure. I say this from a little personal experience - my ex-wife is still looking for a better one than me, and before the divorce they were supposedly lined up in front of her skirt.

   29, every rule has an exception / s, it is quite possible that you came across just such, but I sincerely doubt the motives for the refusal of the bachelor to be so pure. You only mention the difference in your age, but not how old you are, it's one thing to be a bachelor at 30, another at 40 and quite different at 50 - my personal observations are that after 35-40 bachelors become "omnivorous", no they choose very, very married or divorced, beautiful or ugly, weak or fat will be the objects of their desire. I'm not in the kitchen and I don't know, but the reasons for refusing intimacy can be many and the fact that you are "engaged" is the least obstacle, it can just be an excuse that you don't like it, it can be polite way to tell you that he has better offers, he can just watch seir - everything is possible, but everything also depends on the person and age.

   Up to 31 out of 29 Other bachelors around 30 wanted me, but I didn't want them so much ... What an irony, huh? !! And I literally stumbled on this one, too, cruelly! I - at 40, he with ten less! I don't want to know his motives, he just electrifies me and I want him! Our communication is platonic, it is everything I want ... Without much explanation, it always reacts as I want, but the boundaries are set! He is my sweet torment, the rare exception! We can't just let go and get away, it's always online for me! It is! I hope your curiosity is satisfied!

   I am 32, 31 - yes, my curiosity is satisfied, if my statement can be called so at all, that "It is not on the topic, but 10 years in (plus) for the woman are not (plus) at all, but only a reason for reflection. "- (pluses) did not appear when my post was published. I am far from telling you how to live your life and how to satisfy your sexual needs, but think about what would have happened if the bachelor had not set the boundaries, and what would have happened if you met his requirements and divorced ??? Let me tell you about myself - my ex-wife was 3 years older, my current girlfriend is 5 years younger, 10 years difference in one direction or another I see a lot, and to have fun with my daughter's friends, it seems unacceptable to me - I don't think that it is normal to eat one's youth by giving false signals and leaving the responsibility for the consequences in the hands of others. I'm not blaming you, I just want to make you think about what you could give a boy (I'm not commenting on sex), whether you will create a new family, whether you will have children, whether you will become a grandmother. In other words, the pleasure is not only to take, but also to give, give yourself pleasure with someone like yourself, look around for someone around your age, in a similar situation and be sure to use a condom!

   Up to 33 out of 29 Everyone is happy in their own way! I don't do any pub bills and I wasn't looking for anything! I wanted exactly this man because of what he is, not because of his youth! The most amazing and mature man I know! If I'm with him, love will come out - why is only passionate sex always thought of as talking about mature women? !! My husband is my set and what? !! I want two things in my life - my children to be happy and this man! I can't get them at the same time ... If he waits for me, fine, if not - health! To the author Excuse me for spamming your topic! How are you? !! Has it calmed the soul or are you, like me, torn between a mother's duty and a thrill to another? !! I want to slam the door and run to him, cry and just fall asleep in his arms. But I can't cause it to my children! Their father tortures me without sex, but he will take them away from me if I am guilty! Chess and checkmate. .. I was looking for a set ... That's not the problem at all ... Because we all want shared love! And she always lands on our heads in the most surprising way ... And again ... chess and checkmate :)) I understand you, author! If I was allowed, I would steal a night in which HE warms my body and soul ... To be at least a little happy .. But there is no ... there are no such gifts for us! Write how are you? !! And beware! Courage from me

   To the moderators I may have gone too far with the revelations in my last comment and please do not publish it! I will write a more concise answer in the coming days! Thank you for your understanding! from n 29

   Author, I would advise you to watch a movie with Richard Gere and Diane Lane! The movie is called "Infidelity." Look at him and all of you who have set out on this terrible path of adultery!

   To the moderators Please do not delete the comment on 34 - after all, the site is guaranteed anonymous and I do not see what she is worried about. For me, the comments of 34 are useful, I'm not talking about the gossip side, but about the cognitive one. Many modern women are set up in this way "peace at home and love outside" - I do not blame them, I just try to understand them in order to correct their own behavior and attitude. In this line of thinking, such comments are useful to me (probably to others as well), they give me some reassurance that not only am I stuck to my throat, not only do such things happen to me - somehow it's better if you know that you are in the swamp and you do not have high expectations that it will turn into a lake or a sea. Revelation for revelation - at about the same age my ex-wife "clicked", decided that there was nothing more to give and take in marriage, I didn't look for evidence, I don't know how much younger I was replaced, but she was very "strong and strong" when she asked for a divorce. I didn't object, and I was fed up with mumbling and hinting at how "valuable" the other men were, but after the divorce, the promising bachelor "evaporated" and we brought her to requests to fix our relationship. But as they say "male e. Pe, once e. E.". In short, I want to somehow help her at 34, at least try to bring her down to the ground a little, if she can shine under her hat, that it will be neither the first nor the last, on which they turned their heads with sweets tales and zero coverage. I'm also very interested in something else - why are all the students looking for the bigger Batkovs, and when these same students turn 40, they start seeing mature and promising men in boys 10 years younger? In general, my colorful world, my dear 34, I can't forbid you to gnaw on the cheese of another mouse, but sooner or later the trap will burst and you will be neither forward nor backward - the long-awaited love will not happen to you, there may be crazy sex, but whether sex is love is another topic, another topic is how you will feel after your expectations diverge from reality, but here we come to a completely different topic (the difference between male and female thinking). I wish you success 34! Another topic is how you will feel after your expectations diverge from reality, but here we are dealing with a completely different topic (the difference between male and female thinking). I wish you success 34! Another topic is how you will feel after your expectations diverge from reality, but here we are dealing with a completely different topic (the difference between male and female thinking). I wish you success 34!

   H 34, I am the author. I have not calmed down and I do not know if this will happen soon. I try to focus on the children and the work, but my thoughts are constantly with him. It is as if I no longer dream so much about sex as about being a part of my life, to hear his voice, to meet our eyes, to make me laugh ... Today again for almost a whole day the two families were together and I knew that I had to stay away from him, I was somehow tight and distant. And so I want at least for a short moment to feel that it is only mine. But I know that after that everything will go wrong and nothing will be the same anymore, so I abstain and will continue to abstain, even though it costs me a lot of effort. H 36, I will definitely watch the movie.

   Up to 37 out of 29 Even if your wife has left you, you have no right to take it out on me! I will not get into a situation no matter how disappointed you are, but I will tell you one thing: everyone forges his own destiny and no one is to blame for anything! No matter how hard you try, you can't spoil my thrill! What can I explain to you that real men impress with demeanor, not sweet talk ... and their age doesn't matter at all? !! And how did you decide that they would use me and abandon me? No one is insured against anything, that's right, but come on, don't prophesy to strangers just because your wife has suffered and is pushing to return? !! ... I am not blinded and I do not push for divorce; I will not abandon my children just because their father has written me off for years; I know what I want, but it's not up to me alone ... If my man waits for me to study my children and leave, I might be happy too ... one day! I wanted the revelations to be erased, because I'm not in the habit of revealing myself like that ... and only my man is aware of everything ... but he's holding the front for both of us for now, it's good that he is! Well ... everyone with their destiny! Whatever is written! I hope I am strong and hold on to the expected outcome! To the author It must not be easy for you! To hide and pretend, to suffer and never experience your thrill! You have made a difficult decision! I don't know what to advise you except to inspire you! to suffer and never experience your thrill! You have made a difficult decision! I don't know what to advise you except to inspire you! to suffer and never experience your thrill! You have made a difficult decision! I don't know what to advise you except to inspire you!

   39, where he saw me take it from you - on the contrary, I am completely well-meaning. I gave an example with my ex-wife so that you do not feel alone in your revelation, I did not complain, I did not say that I was sorry for what happened, I just stated a fact that I have been talking about here in the forum for a long time, namely that about 40 most of the women I know "scrolled" on the subject of changing husbands. Some of them did not have the courage to give up the security of their "rotten" marriages (they do not shine and I do not know if they have not made lovers), the other part divorced and figuratively speaking "tied the skates", ie. they changed several "official" lovers - if that's called happiness, say hello. Now you are subject to the emotion and thrill of the new sexual object (potential for now), I fully understand you, but I also see that your consciousness is blurred. As a bystander and impartial observer, I told you that your relationship with someone 10 years younger than you was "mission impossible." In a very human way, I tried to explain to you that the young man will want children that you will not want to give birth to. I told you in a very human way not to "rob" the youth of this mature boy - I asked you to think about what you could give him. Apparently you read me diagonally, you didn't "thread" a gram of what I'm talking about, you didn't realize that I was trying to protect you from stupid moves that you would probably regret. I say probably not as a prophet, but as a man who has seen and personally knows dozens of women in your position. I will put a sin on my soul and say something contrary to my understanding of an honorable life - find a lover, someone around your age and in your situation, understand that you only satisfy physiological needs, love and respect each other, but do not fall in love. Otherwise, if I were you, I would end my marriage after the first year of carelessness and disrespect on the part of my husband (you probably commented on the issue with your dissatisfaction). Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like BT aint for me either. That's how dear you are to me - I don't need to be a psychologist or a prophet to say that you are transparent to me, and hence prosaic. I'm sorry to address you in the subject of another person - between your case and her case has nothing to do with one small exception, that you are both in love with another, and you have a husband and children. However, the author does not "touch" other people's happiness, respects the object of his attention and his wife and children and generally takes into account the situation in which he finds himself. You have dreamed of someone waiting for you to touch, raise your children and give him WHAT - I do not want to say harsh words, but you are trying to steal, one money, the other youth. Where did you find an analogy with your story and the story of the author? From my belfry, the author is a responsible person who would not encroach on other people's happiness because of her own aspirations - you are her opposite, but I have already said enough about that. to one money, to the other youth. Where did you find an analogy with your story and the story of the author? From my belfry, the author is a responsible person who would not encroach on other people's happiness because of her own aspirations - you are her opposite, but I have already said enough about that. to one money, to the other youth. Where did you find an analogy with your story and the story of the author? From my belfry, the author is a responsible person who would not encroach on other people's happiness because of her own aspirations - you are her opposite, but I have already said enough about that.

   Up to 40 of 29 You are not the one to decide who with whom! And you read diagonally and chose what gets rid of you :-) With a man who neither looks at me, nor touches me, nor even lets talk about divorce, but says a lot that he will take my children ... , only if I decide to grumble and rebel ..., I stay with such a man just while I study them and leave !! And I'm sorry for your loud words, but for your bitterness :-), 30-year-olds still like me ...! My sets are looking for youngsters! They are on the right path, and I want them so much ... And my man doesn't want children, he just wants me ... And the common denominator with the author is clear - "hungry chickens, millet dream"! Or while our men take us for granted, we will long for others! Because dear read-miss :-) and I just dream like the author, but you just decided to pick, and I'm here to share! Pour your rage and insult somewhere else! Without trying to prophesy and rise to me! Good luck, author! If I were you, I would stop seeing him if there is no way for you to get together! My man and I avoid frequent meetings because it hurts just to look at each other, but we grit our teeth, don't you? !! How you endure, I do not know! I was here! Excuse me for diluting your subject, but I knew that the offended and deceived men would jump in ... they are still sinless, and we are perverts and whores! Whatever! Good luck and write! from 29 that I diluted your topic, but I knew that the offended and deceived men would jump in ... they are still sinless, and we are perverts and whores! Whatever! Good luck and write! from 29 that I diluted your topic, but I knew that the offended and deceived men would jump in ... they are still sinless, and we are perverts and whores! Whatever! Good luck and write! from 29

   29, I'm 40 - and I said what I had to say, and who wants to read and draw conclusions. That's why I asked the moderators not to delete one of your posts, let everyone decide which team to join - it's not in my style to say something and then to deny it. I say again, I'm not attacking you, but you're trying to bite something, you put words in my mouth that I didn't say, you try to think on my behalf, you summarize. And no, I don't read you diagonally, once you say "and I just dream like the author", then you say "My man and I avoid frequent meetings because it hurts just to look at each other, but we grit our teeth, and you?" - I will refrain from analyzes, I will only mention that the author nowhere mentions MY MAN and never once said we grit our teeth. Otherwise I wish you success, but be careful when shoeing a horse! I'm sure,

   Until 29 - If you see each other every day, you will not resist each other for long. A team building or a banquet and morality goes in the trash. You can see from afar, even virtually, how tanned you are. The problem is not that you abstain, like the author, but that you are not allowed, roughly speaking. Another question is which man refuses casual sex. Either he has one, or he doesn't like you enough. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Going to this site and writing are absolutely voluntary actions. You won't like my post, but the truth, when it doesn't match our idea, hurts. You really can't live without sex. Put the cards on the table in front of your husband and find out. If not - everyone should look for happiness, but at least you will be honest with each other.

   Up to 40 Come on, huh? I have made it very clear at the outset that I have a shared thrill with a man, but we only dream of being truly together, abstaining at this stage for a number of reasons listed above! It's just a dream ... to long, to be torn by desire, but you can't live it ... The author is in a similar situation only she doesn't want to share it, nor does she experience it with the object of her desires, that is the only difference! And you saw that you had nothing to hold on to and your attacks were completely unfounded :-))), but there was no way for you to admit that you had gone too far and to retire with dignity ... and this is the class, dear, but it is obviously completely unknown and unreachable for you and it is you who are in the most disadvantaged position to determine whether others own it or not! To the author I think that if your attraction to a family friend becomes uncontrollable, he will feel it and, whether it is shared or not, he will do everything possible to withdraw! Men are much more pragmatic than us and I take my hat off to them! If they decide that the game is becoming dangerous, they just stop ... and you definitely have a game with fire! If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will not dilute your topic anymore :-)) from 29 he will feel it and whether it is shared or not, he will do his best to withdraw! Men are much more pragmatic than us and I take my hat off to them! If they decide that the game is becoming dangerous, they just stop ... and you definitely have a game with fire! If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will no longer dilute your topic :-)) from 29 he will feel it and whether it is shared or not, he will do his best to withdraw! Men are much more pragmatic than us and I take my hat off to them! If they decide that the game is becoming dangerous, they just stop ... and you definitely have a game with fire! If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will no longer dilute your topic :-)) from 29 Men are much more pragmatic than us and I take my hat off to them! If they decide that the game is becoming dangerous, they just stop ... and you definitely have a game with fire! If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will no longer dilute your topic :-)) from 29 Men are much more pragmatic than us and I take my hat off to them! If they decide that the game is becoming dangerous, they just stop ... and you definitely have a game with fire! If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will not dilute your topic anymore :-)) from 29 If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will not dilute your topic anymore :-)) from 29 If he had light angels, he would have responded to your dreamy looks by now! He's just a man on the spot, be thankful for that, because it makes it a lot easier for you in this case! I hope he finds a way to move away as a family ... I understand you, and I could not voluntarily move away from a man I like! Good thing my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will no longer dilute your topic :-)) from 29 that my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will not dilute your topic anymore :-)) from 29 that my man knows it and acts properly! I apologize if I have offended you with some of my own clumsy metaphors! I would be happy to share how you feel, how things are going? !! And I will no longer dilute your topic :-)) from 29

   From number 43 I am a woman. I'm not the person you last communicated with. I followed the topic and the latest writings and I wonder - you are a mature woman and you think like an inexperienced 17-year-old girl. You don't seem to know male nature. You haven't had much experience with men. You have created a pink balloon about the young man who will one day burst and fall roughly to the ground. This dream you are talking about is only in your head. A 30-year-old man will refuse sex only if he is married or you don't like him, but he is too polite to do so. At the same time, it doesn't cut you directly to caress your ego or keep a spare door in case you need it. A man tried to explain it to you above, you do not want. Did you hear the phrase "I don't want to lose you as a friend"? This is the sweetest way to say that you are not attracted to anyone. You believe in what you want. And more. There is no man who does not want children. He just doesn't want it NOW, but there will come a time when he will ask. Do you agree to give birth yet? Or will you be selfish - I already have children, what are they for? You mentioned that if you are honest and divorce, your husband will take the children. Are you saying this excuse to the young boy, relying that he does not know the laws? Because we are aware of the conditions under which children can be taken away from their mothers. Are you unemployed? Drug addict, prostitute, mentally ill - what? Because only in such circumstances can children be awarded to the father. Or if the children themselves are big and want to live with their father on their own ... I'm sorry, but the picture in your mind is totally confused. Sit down and think. Do not see the source of this mess for a while to see the truth. Lack of sex actually leads to imbalance. There is no way that your condition is not visible, as long as it is transparent in your virtual words. Is everything over with your husband? When he doesn't touch you, can't you be the first to touch him? Do you love him Have you made any efforts in this direction? Do you take care of the children at home? Emotions are a good thing, but the unpleasant part is that we pay for them in one form or another. Keep that in mind. Oh, so that you don't think I have no idea how hard it is without sex, I will share that I was 30-32 when I also lost sex. My husband, carried away by childcare and work, forgot about sex. I waited, waited - a year passed. I took the initiative. Then I waited another year for him to remember, I wanted him to wish for me - the same thing. One day I told him that if there was no change, we would divorce, because I'm young and I need sex. He knows me and knows that every word I say is thoughtful and accurate and I always do what I say. We never lie (we are not taught and we do not know how), so I was very shocked by what I heard. The child was then 3. From that moment everything changed. Of course, I'm not just waiting for him to initiate intimacy, I'm more active. Holidays have a refreshing effect on our marriage, so I recommend one if you want to save the love in your family. Think soberly and wisely. the more I am active. Holidays have a refreshing effect on our marriage, so I recommend one if you want to save the love in your family. Think soberly and wisely. the more I am active. Holidays have a refreshing effect on our marriage, so I recommend one if you want to save the love in your family. Think soberly and wisely.

   Up to 29 by the author. I don't write very often because I've been at a new job for 1 week and I don't have time left. But along with the new job, I break away from wrong thoughts. My situation is currently under control and I hope to return the person in question to the friends column. In the last year, he is most often the initiator of our family gatherings. I don't know what's going on in his head, he may have felt a lot in my eyes, but I haven't given him any other signal at all, and even when we're together I pay attention mostly to his wife. So I don't think he would dare do anything to me, and being a friend of my husband's should probably stop him, too. I certainly wouldn't show him any special feelings. I hope we don't get things clarified, because we are likely to ruin a friendship built over the years. I could not stop seeing them, because these are valuable people for me and will be very much missing in my life. I will just keep telling myself that he is just our friend and I will wait for everything to fade away in time. And I don't know what to say about your situation. Life in lies and infidelity does not lead to happiness. It would be best if your husband continues to take you for granted and does not pay attention to your feelings and needs to divorce and find a suitable person. But when your husband threatens to take your children, the situation is complicated. In my opinion, the court does not give the father's children so easily, especially if they are girls, but I know… From the bottom of my heart I wish you everything to develop in the best way for you. that he is only our friend and I will wait in time for everything to subside. And I don't know what to say about your situation. Life in lies and infidelity does not lead to happiness. It would be best if your husband continues to take you for granted and does not pay attention to your feelings and needs to divorce and find a suitable person. But when your husband threatens to take your children, the situation is complicated. In my opinion, the court does not give the father's children so easily, especially if they are girls, but I know… From the bottom of my heart I wish everything to develop in the best way for you. that he is only our friend and I will wait in time for everything to subside. And I don't know what to say about your situation. Life in lies and infidelity does not lead to happiness. It would be best if your husband continues to take you for granted and does not pay attention to your feelings and needs to divorce and find a suitable person. But when your husband threatens to take your children, the situation is complicated. In my opinion, the court does not give the father's children so easily, especially if they are girls, but I know… From the bottom of my heart I wish everything to develop in the best way for you. But when your husband threatens to take your children, the situation is complicated. In my opinion, the court does not give the father's children so easily, especially if they are girls, but I know… From the bottom of my heart I wish you everything to develop in the best way for you. But when your husband threatens to take your children, the situation is complicated. In my opinion, the court does not give the father's children so easily, especially if they are girls, but I know… From the bottom of my heart I wish everything to develop in the best way for you.

   There is no one more sober and reasonable than me ... There is no more indecisive one either ... My marriage is long over ... I lied to him that I love him ... and he lied to me that he is a normal, sexual man. .. He wrote me off as a woman after I got pregnant ... And since then - torment ... I have already told him that on the day when the children leave home ..., I am leaving too! Because he tells me that life will make my life hell if I leave now ... Younger men wanted me just for sex ... There was no way to get it ... Until he showed up ... My girlfriend we stared into each other's eyes ... Everything turned around and I wanted to run away ... In the most delicate and discreet way he took my phone ... and we met for coffee ... Why is it impossible for him to like me and ask without pushing neither for sex nor for family and children? !! We don't work together and no one forces anyone for anything ... He's not married, but he won't have casual sex with me ... Because he realized that I also want a normal relationship ... And it's not about any friendship between us, just sparks fly ... When the time comes, I will be free ... If we are destined to be together, we will be. .. What are these criticisms here, I did not understand? !! By the author You have already decided to take the difficult path ... To see him without ever having him ... I could not ... I wish you to be able to overcome your thrill to him and calm down! In your place I would run away with two hundred ... But as already mentioned, we are different :-D and each reacts in its own way! I wish you success! from 29 By the author You have already decided to take the difficult path ... To see him without ever having him ... I could not ... I wish you to be able to overcome your thrill to him and calm down! In your place I would run away with two hundred ... But as already mentioned, we are different :-D and each reacts in its own way! I wish you success! from 29 By the author You have already decided to take the difficult path ... To see him without ever having him ... I could not ... I wish you to be able to overcome your thrill to him and calm down! In your place I would run away with two hundred ... But as already mentioned, we are different :-D and each reacts in its own way! I wish you success! from 29

   45, I am the "Man tried to explain it to you above, you do not want." - Have you noticed that everyone hears only what he likes? I guess the answer will be yes, but it turns out that this is also scientifically confirmed - recently there was an extensive article on this issue, an experiment named after the scientist who dealt with this issue (of course this is called the syndrome of us who you are). Leaving the scientists, they can't explore each of us, but I appreciate your involvement on the subject - many people think that burying their heads in the sand does not show other parts of their body. I assumed (before your inclusion) that I was mistaken about the "cool" tan at 29, but apparently even here everything is on display, not to mention what is live and that's what I tried to protect her from (I'm not kidding), I really wanted to protect her, but she somehow tried to hurt me and pounced on me. I do not intend to disturb her, but I wanted to tell her that she is not alone - many others (my acquaintances of this age) have thought with the head of a 17-year-old schoolgirl, many others were liked by 30-year-old bachelors, many others are now fear of standing in front of the mirror, but this is life - you study while you are alive and "by this logic the obituary is a diploma of completed education". The lady under number 29 feels some pride in the fact that 30-year-olds are getting off, I would not for a moment rejoice at the attention of a schoolgirl, somehow it is beneath my dignity to sleep with my daughter's classmates, but this is another beer or as the people said, "it doesn't matter what they told you, it matters who told you." I apologize to you, but in fact my letter is addressed to another (I promised not to write more, but I could not refrain) - I guess it's no secret to you that everyone (sooner or later) accumulates "pieces", some do it at puberty, others at university, others during marriage, others after marriage, I have no idea which is more painful, but I still think that if you fall from a height it hurts - whatever I say, the lady has stepped up to the springboard, and when and where it will land is unknown by how many characters "?". It's her will, it's her job (I'm not talking about the knife) - I said what I wanted, I helped what I could, but I don't like the cold of the boxes and the frost of the slices. In the end, I will say that a woman of 40 (with children) who trusted a bachelor (he was 30-40-50 years old) does not sound serious to me - and not to be naked, I stopped communicating with such a lady who slept with a bachelor at the age of her son-in-law. I will not go into details, but somehow I was disgusted by female sexuality - let me not summarize, but "as there is no fish and cancer is a fish", a matter of rebound is what bar you will overcome, mine is not very high, but I do not know why everyone have intensified to go below, not above, for this I gave an example with my ex-wife, but "the dumb man told the deaf man that the blind man had seen." I know I'm not useful, but hope dies last! for this I gave an example with my ex-wife, but "the dumb man told the deaf man that the blind man had seen." I know I'm not useful, but hope dies last! for this I gave an example with my ex-wife, but "the dumb man told the deaf man that the blind man had seen." I know I'm not useful, but hope dies last!

   Up to 48 Better to have refrained from writing to me really! You go from empty to empty and you get annoying! It's not my fault they dumped you! Let everyone carry their cross! And my husband dumped me sexually, but I have not sat down to compare his asexual brethren to the ground, nor do I allow myself to edify and protect anyone! Keep the metaphors to yourself and respect my choice to live as I see fit! I do not accept a word, much less - advice from an individual who loathes female sexuality! And I plan to stop here, because I will hardly get understanding from anyone here! From 29

   Number 47, don't listen to those who have attacked you dear! Safe from some philosophers and people who do not know what love is and to be in love, to have met the man of your dreams and to want to live your life with him. Listen to your heart, trust your intuition and fight for your love. Surrender to this man, give yourself to him and do not listen to others, that you were like 17 years old, that you did not think soberly, that you made a big difference. For love there are no limits, no distances, no time - your man will wait for you, will do his best to make you happy. Nobly I envy you that you came across such a man, this is a dream man for every woman, attentive, gallant, responsive, ready to comply with the situation you are in, ready to wait for you, not to press you for sex and to set conditions for you. Nowadays, such men are extremely rare, not found under the road and over the road. I am glad for you and for having such girlfriends to introduce you to this man. Don't give up, fight for your happiness, send those where they reproach you where they belong, don't pay public opinion tax - they are angry because they don't know what it's like to be in love, they probably never fell in love. I wish you success, dear, I hope your dreams come true in the most wonderful way - you deserve love, understanding, warmth, tenderness, and you will receive them only from this man who obviously appreciated you with dignity, not like your husband and not to see what kind of woman he has next to him. Good luck and head up! send them to those where they reproach where they belong, don't pay public opinion tax - they get angry because they don't know what it's like to be in love, they probably never fell in love. I wish you success, dear, may your dreams come true in the most wonderful way - you deserve love, understanding, warmth, tenderness, and you will receive them only from this man who obviously appreciated you with dignity, not like your husband and not to see what kind of woman he has next to him. Good luck and head up! send them to those where they reproach where they belong, don't pay public opinion tax - they get angry because they don't know what it's like to be in love, they probably never fell in love. I wish you success, dear, may your dreams come true in the most wonderful way - you deserve love, understanding, warmth, tenderness, and you will receive them only from this man who obviously appreciated you with dignity, not like your husband and not to see what kind of woman he has next to him. Good luck and head up! who has obviously valued you with dignity, not like your husband to squat and not see what kind of woman he has next to him. Good luck and head up! who obviously valued you with dignity, not like your husband to squat and not see what kind of woman he has next to him. Good luck and head up!

   Thank you, n 50, for understanding, feeling and supporting me in such a delicate and exciting way! I wish you happiness and luck from the bottom of my heart! From 29

   29 I wonder what makes people write here, ask for advice, and share when they are not ready to hear a different opinion. Well, if you are convinced of something, do it without informing any strangers on the site. Live your life. I will tell you the truth. Somewhere deep in your soul you feel doubts and your inner voice shouts the same thing that those around you (us here) tell you, but you stubbornly cover your ears, you are wrong. Okay. Your life is yours. You have every right to land roughly on the ground. We wanted to soften your blow, but you want to try what it feels like. Come on. And then we will calm you down. Because we are good. Success! From 45

   Up to 45 by the author As for me, I wrote here hoping to get practical advice on how to get out of this situation. Most people advised me to stop seeing the person in question. I tried, but it didn't work, and I don't dare talk to my husband about it. I will be grateful for people who have been in my situation to write to me and share how things have developed since then. I do not judge 29, because in the marital situation in which he finds himself, it is normal to look away. Just as I did not plan to fall in love with a family friend, so she did not plan to fall in love with a 30-year-old. These people came our way just when we had some needs. I don't stand a chance with the man in question, because he has a wife who is my closest friend, but the friend of 29, as far as I can tell, is alone, and if she finds a way and separates from her husband, they could go happy together. There are many couples with such a difference in age. I wish 29 their feelings to be mutual and for things to happen.