Hi! My problem is related to infertility - something I never thought would happen "right to me." I went through the phases of depression and not accepting reality, and now I'm still happy with life, but there's always something missing. I would like to hear advice on how to accept the fact that I may never become a mother (even an adopted child). How to preserve family happiness when the couple wants children, and they never come. If someone has experienced the same, I'd be happy to let them know from experience how they did it. I always dreamed of having three or four children, and a few years ago I finally found the right man who wanted the same thing. We are already married, and after the wedding we immediately started trying, because we could not wait for our first child to appear. We have a relatively large dwelling and the means to raise several children. After a year of unsuccessful babymaking, we assumed there was a problem and went to clinics for research. And the problem turned out in me - polycystic ovaries, poor-quality eggs, lack of ovulation. Basically, it has to be a miracle to get pregnant naturally. So we became regular "clients" of a reproductive medicine clinic. We did a few stimulations and experiments naturally that didn't work. They also gave me laparoscopy and no other problems were found. My husband and I decided not to engage in inseminations, which in our case would hardly have worked, and we went straight to the in viro procedures. So far, the result is 2 failures and a lot of time, nerves, and money in the wind. The first time only 1 embryo was obtained, and the second time - 3 when I was returned 2 (placing 3 is forbidden), but I never got pregnant. Now we have 1 frozen, but not very good quality, with which we are about to try October. It's our hope, but realistically the odds are slim. In the meantime, we're not doing anything - we're doing more research on NK cells, etc. before the next attempt. The country in which we live does not have an in vitro fund as in Bulgaria, and the cashier pays only a percentage of the first 3 attempts. If they all fail, you take them alone - each with a few thousand euros. I agree and even offered to try donor eggs, here however this practice is forbidden and we have to go abroad, where it is not cheap at all. On the issue of adoption - for me, it is also an option, but my man, like most, does not want to look after foreign children and disagrees. He wants to let his genes go and only his own children to inherit him. He is right for himself and I do not want to insist since he has no desire to have children in this way. We are happy and love each other, but we miss the children. I am glad that this problem does not affect our marriage and I hope so in the future. But it weighs on me that I'm going to be 30 now and I don't have kids yet, and the odds aren't great. My goal has always been to have a big, nice family, not to pursue a career. Successes at work can't replace the joy of having children. I don't want to deprive him of the chance to have his own successors, and sometimes I don't see a way out of this situation. We continue with the attempts and are determined not to give up until it happens. I'm afraid of a future without children if it doesn't. For me, they've always been the point of life, and I don't want to put up with it that I may never have.
Answers 50
1
dreamana answered · June 23, 2020
Ehh, it was the only frozen embryo I had. It was left over from my first failed attempt. I have polycystic ovaries, too. You have time ahead of you, don't give up, you're going the right way! A lot of couples have these and other problems, but it works. In some quickly, others take time!
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lorena_sugar answered · June 23, 2020
First, tell me how old you are. I don't think you have a chance. Third, you may not like the idea, but very likely to be working with another man. If you try and learn yours, you'il probably split up quickly. But you can still think about what you're willing to give up. And don't overdo it with IVF - doctors have the benefit of convincing you how it's safest and fastest, but their motives are different. If you're under 30, you need to calm down and stop thinking obsessively about the subject, and it can become imperceptibly in a normal way. If you have a sister, you can use a donor egg as the final option. That way your husband's child will be, and you'il be very close to you.
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marinaeuphoria answered · June 23, 2020
Honey, if he really cared about you, he'd support you in the idea of giving happiness to a afflicted baby, and he wouldn't care so much that the child isn't the fruit of your love. My advice is to leave this prick looking for someone else to give him to the dream heirs and you move on with your life and try to adopt a child even on your own. In the States, families adopt children even if they already have their own.
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sthrnbelle07 answered · June 23, 2020
Honey, you came across the right guy! I tell you from the first person: You are the important one! You and only you! And I don't have children, two marriages behind my back for that reason... My husband, whom I can't wait to hug in a moment when I do my job, has a 14-year-old daughter from a previous relationship. Hey, this kid harassed him from morning to night - English, Russian, let's try spanish, not the chalga, but with us at an exhibition, not in the mall, but at a Brahms concert, the skirt to the middle of the knee - in that spirit...you know that pays off, you know, she's already started looking for the culture herself, she's started to emulate us. Finally - which was the big shock - it turned out that, in fact, it was not my husband's biological child. His ex-wife cheated on him in time, and that's how she got pregnant. That didn't bother us. Rumi is our child, and we'il be behind her as long as we're alive. Because I love her, and because her father and I are taking care of her. Please tell from the heart, say the pronoun I in a loud voice, scream it, go to the bathroom hit your two slaps in front of the mirror, put on your lipstick, kiss your husband and get on with your life!
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bigtittybxtch answered · June 23, 2020
Honey, it's even more tragic for us because we both have problems, but that doesn't stop us from trying and hoping. Otherwise, my friend got pregnant after 10 years of walking through the misery. It wasn't treatments, it wasn't IVF, it wasn't anything. But it was worth it, and now there are two twin boys. You're such a sweetheart! So my point is, don't give up! I know it's a long, cruel and painful struggle, but it's worth it! Success!
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candyliciousss answered · June 23, 2020
Hello, this is the result of general ill health. To fix this thing, you need to review your eating habits, your habits, your physical activity, the amount of sleep and things like that. When health is poor, the body "closes" reproductive abilities and redistributes its resources to more urgent and important systems. It's up to you to optimize your health so that your body restarts healing procedures to your reproductive system. It's not going to be easy, you've got a lot of changes in your habits, but it's the right way to go. Also, if you have harmful habits such as drinking, smoking, standing up late at night and the like, you need to forget them and start exercising and eating well.
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samka_ answered · June 24, 2020
I have polycystic ovaries, too, but I got pregnant normally. I think you're very stressed, and that can have some impact, too.
Don't despair, I believe you'il have your own child. A little more faith.
You're saying a miracle must happen. Miracles happen every day! I'm speaking from personal experience. Amazing things have happened to me, even impossible!
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cutymeow18 answered · June 24, 2020
"The Way of Tears" (Jorge Bukay)
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kassidylane answered · June 24, 2020
I'm in the same position. For me, the fund takes over the procedure, but there are still a lot of costs that come in the upper e.t. At least you know your problem. After five years of walking in lights, he hasn't been found yet. It's supposed to be all right with both of them, and it's not working. I'm going to have a uterus biopsy. That's all we haven't done, but I suspect there won't be a problem there either. Everyone I know talks about stress and all that nonsense. I started seeing a psychotherapist. Of all the doctors so far, just for the money with this woman, I don't regret it. In 3 sessions I was able to calm down, accept reality, not count the years, but consciously enjoy the good times. Even the adoption option is no longer my foreign, and I used to be in your husband's opinion. I fell into existential questions about the meaning of life, believed in carmi, superstition. Now I'm over it. I found that there is no need to make any great sense - children, money, successes, etc. to live my life peacefully and happily ever after. And I keep trying. I'il try three times, and if it doesn't work, we'il file adoption papers. After all, health is the most important, and you know what a load is IVF. I could advise you to look for a psychologist. The first session is nasty, but then you can find a solution to a lot of problems, not just for the baby. The good thing is that you come to your own conclusions, and they don't intrude on you and tell you what to think and how to feel.
The other thing I want to tell you is that you have a lot of time to get pregnant. Polycystic is regulated. With a diet and sports, you can help yourself. And supplements for the quality of eggs. If the pipes, yarogram and spermogram are good, chances are on your side.
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sexmaxxi answered · June 25, 2020
Girls, my mother had surgery on cysts when she was 12. My father was so keen on "such a little girl" and her mother was heartbroken, knowing that she couldn't have children .But after a sea soon after the wedding, my father told her - you were pregnant .My mother smiled .She knew the time had come to tell the nasty truth .And my father only said -why then I have two children. Explore the issue on the Internet -Polycystic ovary-eating syndrome .Before IVF and hormones treat cysts .Before you go to the internet. Good luck.
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hot_like_ice answered · June 25, 2020
If you don't adopt. Dog people take it and love it, let alone a child.
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jennaflawless007 answered · June 25, 2020
I'il tell you congratulations first! After all, your husband is standing next to you, he didn't leave you because you can't have children. There's nothing to wait for you to fix the adoption papers, I hope your husband will too. But your only chance is adoption. There's another option, but it's very risky. Another woman, to carry a baby , and when she gives it to you there are such women, but I do not know if this is allowed in Bulgaria...
Paris
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angie_erictoy answered · June 26, 2020
You're going to take it just like I've accepted that I'm not going to find a girl, and I'm going to be all alone.
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trixiebang answered · June 26, 2020
Cathy, it's going to work out somehow. Promise.
Marto.
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bigcockinukk answered · June 26, 2020
Hi
I understand what you're going through, although not from personal experience. My best friend went through this. They wanted a baby, but for health reasons, it didn't work out for her, and they decided on IVF. In Germany, some of the IVF is drunk from the health insurance fund. So after a few attempts, she got pregnant. They have two lovely twins right now.
There were no health reasons for me, and so did my husband, but I thought about it a lot. My only thought was why it didn't work. Maybe you've heard it 1,000 times, but I'il advise you to relax. Do not think about ovarian disease, about pregnancy, about problems. Don't think about it. Go on vacation somewhere. Forget the thought baby. Enjoy each other and it will work. That's what happened to us. The moment I forgot and accepted the thought that maybe we weren't meant to have a child, I got pregnant. Stress negatively affects the body, in addition to giving the baby. Maybe that's why you can't get pregnant, maybe it's some kind of defense mechanism. Relax and you'il see how you won't know when you got pregnant.
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summerrx answered · June 27, 2020
That's why I don't believe in the Lord, for if he had it, there would be justice on earth! Here is a wonderful woman who wants to fulfill her childbearing affiliation, and her fate hinders her, and other women who are healthy do not want to have children!? If there was a God, he wouldn't let this happen. The author is very wise and stubborn, I am sure she will succeed and soon she will have children! From what I understand, she's ready to adopt a child, but her husband wants to be from his seed. This is the most acceptable option, sperm from her husband, an egg from another woman, the fetus wears it and gives birth to the author. They're going to have a lot of kids and they're going to be very happy. Good luck to them!
17
pig3378 answered · June 27, 2020
My daughter-in-law had this problem, but she became pregnant naturally and gave birth to a child. Don't stop trying to get to different doctors.
18
patrickcook64 answered · June 27, 2020
16, you have a slightly misconception of God and his function. He's not some chief justice who delivers justice, encourages the good and punishes the bad guys (these are religious fictions), but that doesn't mean he's gone. It's just not what you imagine.
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daddies_kitty answered · June 27, 2020
I support number 18!
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faq12345 answered · June 28, 2020
Didn't you ever think that this too staring at the idea of having children stops you on a physical level? Why don't you just say it! and let things go on their own without continuous calculations, measurements, command sex, etc.? Do you feel the stress you put yourself into alone?
21
jessicablonder69x answered · June 28, 2020
Expand with the worldview. Life isn't just family and children, no matter how hard the aunts and uncles of ours are trying to keep us in.
A similar thing happened to a close friend of mine, for whom sport was the most important thing in his life - he got an injury and had to stop, then fell into severe depression for more than a year.
Everyone's got something in mind, and when they realize they can't have it, they despair, not understanding that life offers 1,000 opportunities, and most of us are clinging to one.
If children are really important to you, there are many other ways to be close to them - you can teach in kindergarten, help in children's homes, be a foster parent, join an international mission, etc.
Or just find a job and a hobby that will keep you busy, and you won't have time to regret that something didn't happen to you. A lot of better things are going to happen to you, as long as you want it.
22
sexydoll92 answered · June 28, 2020
Number four, you're well obsessed, but don't try to get others to emulate you. Go now you hit two slaps off me.
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horny_diana69 answered · June 28, 2020
16, on the wrong path...
So there's no kids with a couple, there's always a reason. Nothing in this life happens by accident when it comes to the important things in it.
To the author: make attempts, but within the limits of the reasonable. You just have to be able to accept the fact and live peacefully with it. Not the other way around.
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vanessaveles answered · June 28, 2020
Some acquaintances, after a few years of ramming, had reconciled and adopted a child. But if you're not, since they were no longer safe, the woman got pregnant.
And now they're looking at their two children, their adopted...
25
chant212 answered · June 29, 2020
Try needle therapy! But he's looking for a good doctor.
If you're from Plovdiv, write to me, I'il recommend it.
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hornyguycd666 answered · June 29, 2020
I'm in the same position, I'm currently in a donor egg procedure. If it doesn't work now, I don't know how I'm going to handle it... But if you haven't tried a donor program, try it! The odds are much greater!
G44
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joe92joe answered · June 29, 2020
It's me again- he's going to Bulgaria on a donor program! Well, you'il pay for yourself, but that's the case. Nobody pays me anything, not that age.
G44
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clara_chan answered · June 29, 2020
Hi, I'm 32, I don't have ovulation, a cycle 2 times a year, problems from a teenage girl, polycystic ovaries, etc. It even turned out that I had a syndrome that I didn't have to have children with so I wouldn't die. I have three kids. I was dying in all the births, but the result is on my face. It all happened with a horse's dose of gnnat.
Now we're happy and healthy.
I would like to say that I think yoga and women's energy practices helped me the most. Read on the subject. Your whole body is one system you can get in order.
29
freaky_fuckerz answered · June 29, 2020
18, and how do you imagine your God? Isn't that how they teach us from the church, God sees everything and delivers justice!? Where is justice for the author, why is nature playing with it? To me, nature is God!
30
lsqueen answered · June 30, 2020
29, in any case, not as rewarding the good and punishing the bad. Not that there's any truth in that either, but things are much more complex. You only see things above the surface, but it's just one piece of the whole puzzle. There's a reason and a purpose for everything.
31
bunnyhauserman answered · June 30, 2020
Up to No31 - a woman of 55 is not over-ageing and can still greatly care for a child. I have many examples around me for women over 60 who are fashionable, young and live more actively than some in their 30s.
J44, it's not too late to make your dream of being a mother come true. Good luck to you!
32
goodgirlgiaa answered · June 30, 2020
The second wife of a friend of my father's, she couldn't have children. He already had a daughter from his first marriage, and apparently, like your husband, he was against the idea of adoption. She split up with him and adopted his child and he went back to his first wife. There's nothing to think about if you want a child to act on the issue, the problem is your partner's limited thinking.
33
babyquartz95 answered · June 30, 2020
You don't know anything, don't lose hope. But from personal experience, I'm telling you- peace of mind is really super important. And it didn't work out with us, we went on vacation and I just wanted to rest, we had sex not for a baby, but for the pleasure and love. I couldn't believe it, but I got pregnant. Good luck to you
34
cutekammi answered · July 01, 2020
You deleted comment 31 (not mine), but it was the truth. I'm a woman, and I understand the longing for a child - and I'm a mother, but let's think about the child first! Let's not think of motherhood until the climacteric knocks on our door! My comment is not to the author - I am sure she will become a mother, no matter how and she will be wonderful!
35
alice_ayress answered · July 02, 2020
Thank you, 32!
G44
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yina_sweet answered · July 02, 2020
Is that number 40? Well, if you're in a climacteric, I'm not. Come on, health and think of your children! There's someone to think of other people's, and that's not you...
37
nickyandjordan answered · July 02, 2020
40 to 43
I'm happy for you. Then why do you resort to donor egg procedures? I will answer you - because each girl is born with a certain number of eggs, which after puberty begin to mature one by one and go to the cinema every month. Yes, there are also seventy-go women - beautiful, healthy, energetic and capable, but neither sport, nor proper nutrition, nor cosmetic and medical procedures can bring back what nature and years have taken.
38
1986matt1986 answered · July 02, 2020
And I'm my opinion that very late motherhood is not good. My mother died young, and if she had given birth late, we'd be without her early. If a person has financial opportunities, he may have a late birth, like the famous ones.
39
josh_aus333 answered · July 02, 2020
If you are in Europe, explore the issue of donor eggs. That way your husband won't be looking after someone else's child. My acquaintance (over 45! ) carried twins from a donor, everything in the Czech Republic did. They also have more embryos somewhere in the Czech Republic, frozen. I mean, if it doesn't happen the first time you nest, you don't start over. Or if you want more kids in time.
Your health department doesn't have a job about how you got pregnant and whose genetic material it is. If you have the embryo, you'il have your pregnancy and childbirth and postpartum care. After all, you're giving the country a potential taxpayer. Success!
40
magnus_dick247 answered · July 03, 2020
I'il tell you about my very close friend, you really wanted a child, a lot! There wasn't anything going on. It's not going to happen to a man, and the cool guy doesn't want to have kids, so 38-39 years old is. That's when they found her breast cancer. By the time the procedures passed, it's been over a year, maybe more. After therapies, it is necessary to take 5 years strong drugs incompatible with pregnancy. And when this is over, she'il be about 46 or 47 years old. You know, he had to accept his life as he is. She changed her lifestyle. You found life for yourself. To live for himself. No, a career, and she doesn't want to. But it works. She started a tango course (except for yoga and Spanish, which she used to do). He opened fire. He went to Argentina. Travels. Dance. He's finding new people. There's a great joy in life in it. Despite the grief. Although he doesn't have children. She's making her life complete.
Turn to yourself and admit what you've always put off and do. Despite the morality, despite all and everything. Jump with a bungee if you're either going to make a course for a pilot on a small plane, or wearing sweaters for the whole family, or living in the country. Just make your life. There's no other way. If you can't create a child, create yourself, create your life.
41
vildhjearta answered · July 03, 2020
So! And it's none of your business! You're not educated on this!
Give advice to whoever asked them, that is, the author, I did not ask you for your advice!
And don't sleep with her story!
I helped her with advice, and you?
42
xxxxa1 answered · July 03, 2020
Moderators, rub comments that cause controversy because they don't match someone's opinion. Why, given that no point of comment writing rules has been violated? The site is an area for different opinions and this is the good thing, do not ruin the meaning of its existence.
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hungry_teacher answered · July 03, 2020
And properly rubbed! You're violating morale!
And 100,000 people write and not delete them even, you still won't stop me, so you're just wasting yourself....
Author, it's going to be okay, co-center this, not a possible failure! Faith in success is half the success!
G44
44
jamesburtoni12 answered · July 03, 2020
If your husband is Bulgarian you can pay your health contributions 5 years back and you will be entitled to free IVF procedures in Bulgaria. You might be lucky here.
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powerswy answered · July 04, 2020
g 44, drink your pills and do not give away your morality, for how moral it is to have children well after the age of 35 can determine only the child who is the result of the selfish pushes of his parents.
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metzskies answered · July 04, 2020
I'm afraid of being childless. I feel like every 20th today there's a problem with conception, and I'm going to be like that. I don't know if the food is due to what it is. A lot of women have your problem, sweetheart. You'il have a baby, if you want to, it'il work. To the commenters - does stress really affect? I read a lot about stress and the fact that stress could not be conceived. I don't really believe... This topic is sick for many women. Some have a problem, others are afraid they will.
47
purplebator answered · July 04, 2020
Look, before birth control, no one thought it selfish to give birth of any age. Especially women in the critical, there was no way to protect themselves (for example, by orientating themselves on the already irregular cycle) and they became pregnant at about 50 years of age and carried their children. There's one in my father-in-law's family, and his mother gave birth to him at the age of 56. She thought she was done with the cycle and then hopped. Did this man prefer not to be born? The 6-foot-10 giant grew up. He's breastfed for three years. I don't like that kind of talk at all. I gave birth to my first child at 36 in four hours and we're fine, everyone. My acquaintance, aged 40 and 42, gave birth not to a hospital, but to an obstetric centre. You give birth, you get up and you go. If in Bulgaria over 35 is some kind of verdict, well wake up - it is not a measure of the whole world. A child has come, rejoice, what is there to comment on the age of his mother or father. Let's sterilize zorlem at 30 years then by your logic!
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london_gina answered · July 04, 2020
I'm glad so many people understand that God doesn't give away that justice they want. How does the gypsy give birth and I can't? It's not that simple. There's karma-deeds from a past life. We don't remember her. Not our mind. If we remembered it was easy to avoid the consequences.
You will get what you are willing to give. No children have been promised. No one.
Of course, it's best for everyone to have their own biological child, but ask the mothers of a child with a disability what they think. They're biological, aren't they? Even if it's your biological, someone gives you a guarantee that it's going to be healthy and smart? And what does "genes" mean? what if the genes turn out to be damaged?
By the way, a few people have children after they have adopted. The roads are ignorant.
Faith must, and good deeds, not only ''I want, I want... ''
49
trippybbyalien answered · July 04, 2020
I'm pregnant!
And yes, I'm taking my pills!
And if you scream, and don't scream, it's over!
I'm happy, get over it!
And I'm creating a life that's priceless!
G44
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alena201 answered · July 04, 2020
57 - one of the rules of the site is to try to help and give useful advice to the people who have asked for them.
I don't know how being pregnant will help the author. If you want to make a point, create a theme and brag there.
And relax - you're not unique - billions of women give birth to children around the world, and there's nothing special about it, pure physiology.