Hi, fellas. I have a problem, today my husband has told me that he feels like a worthless man and has no self-esteem for himself. He always respects everyone and does what his relatives, employer and etc tell him. On 1 January around noon his boss called and told him to go to work and had an appointment to go up to 6th and he went, he could not refuse, with the relatives was the same way. I want to do something for him, I want to raise his confidence. Give me some advice on what I could do.. I love it and I want to make a meaningful sense!
Answers 16
That he himself must do it, not you, or anyone else. Apparently he hasn't learned to stand up for himself since he was a kid, and now it's going to be hard. But only he can do it. That sounds like a lot of old trauma and trouble.
Do not do it because such people gain self-esteem and forget. He's going to dump you first, and he's samozamae.
If you want to help her you must necessarily read the six pillars of self esteem! He's telling you a man who's struggling with the same problem. The book has it on PDF only in English. If you follow all the instructions there is no way not to improve within a month or at most two!
Teach him to turn off his phone first, outside of business hours. Then there's no boss, no Meff. But when he's a fool to be subjected to, he won't be fine.
The man is a man, when he can at the right time to hit the table and say a few tales on the spot. The man keeps his word and stands up for himself.
"Man is as good as bad. If one is more ill " Petar Deunov He needs to learn and be bad. We are neither angels nor devils. We're people. People are in the middle.
I hope the moderators don't accept it as an advertisement and publish my post. Buy him Jordan Peterson's book, 12 Rules of life. You helped me a lot. In general find out where the problem is rooted-childhood, parents, events of the past and etc. Talk to him about his fears, his desires and etc. One can even a psychologist to visit, there is nothing frightening or shameful. My wife goes to a shrink. In general literature, self-analysis, sharing with the partner and similar help.
Up to 6 The guy's a cyrush, all the same, if you're going to go through the teachings, you can do something, and the next thing, except for a few late hippies, others that are happy, I've never seen...
Hi! You can help him. It's really good that he told you that. It is best to visit a psychologist who can help him. Here is your role and task to support it and encourage it, as there is a high probability that a person with low self-confidence may not be able to decide on this step. I'm saying it from experience. I'm a similar case. I have been working alone on this problem for many years and I have changed, but it is not so big and it is slow. These are models of behavior from my childhood, they learn, they can learn and new. I mean, when your husband repeats all these unpleasant words and definitions of himself, it's not his inherent, primordial or innate traits and attributes. It's something a man needs to know when he's working with himself. I've been repeating these words many times. I learned to say "come on", or "come on, that's not true." And even if I say the opposite. We are fundamentally pure as the dew, and everything else we have accumulated, mastered and learned with time. He needs to learn to say good things to himself. And the above writing doesn't mean you have to repeat yourself as a parrot any positive phrases. This problem also requires acceptance, which does not mean believing that this is true. You accept the situation: you accept that you have been cowardice, accept that you are insecure, accept that you have behaved fearfully, but that may change. This is different from the self-accusation and the type of "I'm terrified", "worthless" and so on. Accepting also means to realize that the change does not happen with a magic wand, but is like anything else there is progress, there may be failures there are steps back and then again forward. And it is individual, can be done quickly or for a longer time. He himself has to ask himself questions: "What do I feel?", "Why do I behave like this?", "What am I afraid of?", "Is that true?" Sometimes the answer is not the root of the problem and requires more digging and rubbing, and questions. Until he realizes that the only one. What matters is the action. But awareness and action are different things. And the action of the first time may not be to grill your boss because he didn't keep the deal. The action in his case may be to consult a psychologist. There are big steps, there are small steps. I recently read something very nice: when you are overwhelmed by doubt-make the next smallest step. Psychologist Liyana Petrova is engaged in assertive behavior-the ability to assert himself. I haven't visited her, but I've been watching an interesting interview with her. It's on the Internet. Success! : )
Just because he's like that doesn't make him insignificant. . Contrary.. But I don't know. He has a lot of responsibilities and responds to people always, maybe he should devote some time to himself by being pampered with something, and you can have the wife. Take him to places he likes, distract him, with a movie, lunch, dinner, a mall tour, romantic relaxing dinners, tell him what a wonderful man and a man he is. Shine it, be nice, warm, cordial and try to help him and be useful. To have time to be busy, but to know his vacation. Spending more time doing things that make him feel happy
Tony's not bad. People have seen the goodness in it and use it. He can not refuse and so. I was and I am the same but people have changed. I stopped lending money I stopped helping and became bad. Two three times I had to look for a physical financial aid and I was refused then I told myself why I should help???? No one to count on. So talk to him not to answer the phone or seek help and see what people he is helping because because of these people he falls under his dignity in his mind. It's not easy for you to say. Just give him courage and support.
If he's so spineless and gutless, that he sees it himself and admits, there's nothing you can do about it. He has to do it. To make it, he has to ask for it first. It is easy to write, but it does not happen suddenly, for a month or two, and most likely it is never.
Man is what he wants to be. No one pours a character, nor can it give advice on how to build one. The same person, with well-intentioned people behave in one way, and with idiots on a completely different side. And I, as younger as I believed in others, were smiling, but subsequently I began to distinguish between hypocrisy and candor. I understand that if you act like a sheep in society, you always stand out wolves around you. In fact, they were always available, but I was misled in their "goodwill", and in fact it was a vile hypocrisy. I understand the only way to get rid of them is to start blowing them out of your life. So I became at work, I reassessed all my colleagues, all my superiors and started looking for my rights, it was difficult but useful. Everyone knew that I was no longer a meek and patient man, and they began to comply with this. So my life changed to good. The author has no way to help his husband if he does not do his self-assessment properly. If his boss broke the deal and he's calling him to work on the first day of the new year, then her husband is, or a big spec guy who can't handle the firm, or he's a big chump who can easily manipulate and lie. Let us assess if it is of the first type, you can well position yourself and build an authority so you will gain confidence. If it's the second guy, then God can't help him. Only he himself will help himself, or must show teeth or have to get used to the situation. At least the author can raise his authority in the family, that's also help.
I know such "good" people as your husband. Do you know how much money they have to take, because they helped a lot of people? Do you know how many services and gestures should receive in return from their own? And you know what they say behind the back of these good people? You know, the more compromises he makes with himself, the more he's going to get on his head? God forbid your husband would have to ask for some kind of Help or service from those he has helped so far... all will sink to the ground, and those who fail to hide will begin to mourn, how much they are in trouble, and how you may want something from them. It's not kindness, it's naiousness that will destroy him as a person.
Buy him Corvette Stingray. This will raise the self-esteem of almost every man.
You can help him. If the woman in your life supports and encourages you, this is the best incentive!! First, repeat him that for you is the best and the most significant, and that if he believes in himself, he will be able to cope with this problem. Even if he had to leave his job to stand for his dignity, you should continue to support him and be behind him... Second, there is a huge literature on self-development, find it on the Neta, refer it, but delicately, without any nagging. If he realizes his problem, it's the first prerequisite he can handle.