It turned out that he only wanted sex. I'm not really sure ... but what else could he have wanted? He even pretends not to know me when mutual friends mention me on the phone. Or in my absence, they tell me that he didn't remember me ... He asks who I was ... I didn't have sex with him and better, because then I would really be very hurt. Now I know it would be a mistake. But the time spent with him was very good. He shared personal things with me, he seemed sensitive, kind, intelligent, and I am in love ... It seems that I did not fall in love with him, but rather with the idea of him, of his presence and what could happen between us and what it could be. And I will never know ... I'm not sure ... I'm not even clear with myself at the moment, that's why I'm writing on this site and I don't know why, I'm probably disappointed. Once again I am disappointed. Could we stay friends? ..., but even that would probably be painful. I wonder from time to time what I pushed him away with ... Am I to blame. It boosted my self-esteem, I started to feel better in my skin ... now that he totally erased me from his memory, ... I feel like I'm not worthy of anything, like I don't deserve to be loved. True, just because a person doesn't want to be with me doesn't mean that hundreds of others wouldn't want to be with me or that I'm not good enough to be loved. But it's disappointing. And again ... boys come and talk to me. There are a few who want a serious relationship with me ... But I think about him. Even when I talk to them, I look into their eyes, my stomach tightens and I think of him. Tell me! How can I stop thinking about him, about who he is with at the moment and how the hell can I stop being attached to such people ??? And to anyone at all? It turned out that this brings only pain and disappointment. Love as if you have never been hurt. And isn't it difficult for a person to love at some point? ...
1 asian__barbie answered
Life is a strange thing .. it brings you many others ready to be with you .. maybe better .. maybe more loving, etc. and you still want exactly the one who makes you cry and hurt .. who can again and again to put you in the state you are in at the moment .... isn't it masochistic .. I can't explain it to myself