Households Are Killing Our Family ...

The Story

I don't know where to start writing, not to mention that I don't know if it makes sense ... Maybe I should pour out my soul, I know ... My husband and I have been living together in a house for a long time, my mother-in-law is quite old, but completely with his mind, is on the first floor, we on the second. The antique house from the 60s. It was as if she had fallen asleep at another time. Every day is a pain and physical effort for me. For my husband, he hardly lives like that for 40 years. I carry wood up non-stop. There is no hot water. By the way, there is a water heater, but downstairs ... and when the water runs out, his mother goes upstairs to fight - there was none for her, she only needed one plate. My daughter and I are upstairs. I got tired of singing the same song and started going to my studio / there is also misery there, but at least it is tolerable, although difficult //. He dragged his laundry and dishes after me. I look recently - the child stopped going to his grandmother ... I say and, go to grandma, she says-I don't want to. And no one said a bad word about her. Children are not stupid, they feel everything. We have spared the child from problems and we have never raised our voices in front of her, let alone explained who she is, grandma, grandpa. In the living room accumulated furniture, frozen from the last century. This locker is needed, I don't know what else is missing ..

There is another room - my husband has been "fixing" it for 5-6 months, now he will clean it ... and that's how it is. To sit. There was no crib for the child before. I took him a basket, the cheapest - he used to sleep with us. To see how quickly he liked it in his bed and now he sleeps sweetly there. The yard should be a yard, you should plant flowers, I would like to start growing tomatoes, parsley or whatever. Well, full of rubbish, paper, iron, bottles, car parts and whatever else comes to mind. It's good that we're in a severe financial crisis, that my husband should wind up cleaning something in Nadin .. I put up with the old batteries for many years - well, it spilled on me! I broke my arms with them - they were spinning with three hundred torments. I dug 2 old women out of the yard and put them in the studio. Here I brought the two snaps to Vidima and I was born. These days a neighbor put us Junga so that the grandmother could smell thank God. Otherwise, my husband would pick up a cigarette to put it on ... I know how he puts it on and does something - half a year ... 7-8 years ago a Dream worked for a whole month. I threw it at Nadine with gusto. There is a dog in the yard. I have a cat in the studio - a meek and gentle soul. Hey, that cat, it smelled, it annoyed him, I threw it away. And what can I say about the dog? !! Yes, I don't like him. It's not like moving 70 kg and 5 kg out of your way. 5 times a day, just to pass. And he doesn't drive away the dog, which he knows himself and says that he doesn't love and can't stand it ?? But he needs it, ah ..

We're so different ... it's awful, I know that. And we've been together for 10 years and he's everything to me .. In my personal life, too, it started to go wrong ... I don't know why I get so annoyed when we talk about nonsense, literally. Eg. I've watched crime series, medical nonsense and so on. What did they give me, how could I watch this nonsense or this boring psychology, like CSI, Profiling, RIS, Gray and a bunch of others. Am I watching him staring! His journalism is completely foreign to me, but I don't give him a mind of what to watch, let alone judge him as a person by what he watches. But I don't want him to do it either. When he sees a crime on the desktop, close it. In the evening, the TV is entirely his. I will only add that we do not tolerate Turkish TV series and chalga, and we are united in this. I have been unemployed for 1-2 months. I've worked in a certain field all my life, but the truth is not in it ... I realized some time ago, I never found the strength and money / we have been poor all our lives, both he and I / to follow the work I dream of. He doesn't support me at all! He is still trying to push me into the mold in which I lived. And I'm always looking at more masculine professions and honestly, I also have abilities. I know I can handle it. But a woman in a man's world finds it difficult to break through, let alone at my age. Well, at least he promised me - if he sees that I am satisfied and satisfied, he will not be a horse with caps, but he will be happy for me. But I feel like my self-esteem is crushing from now on - when I have decided to take my own path - "you will see that you will get bored, you will rot, etc." Well, I'm not chasing the easy! I'm chasing what I love and I'm sure I'll do it! I dreamed for so many years and did nothing - now I will fight! But I don't want to - even if he shouts every other day - you won't succeed ... And for what I want - I need money and time and courses ... Regular visitors to the site will probably say that I don't I'm home, which it really is, but I don't think it's the most defining thing for a family that has chosen to be together. We also lived in the studio for a while, we were separated. It's easiest to get my ass up and go home. And what do we do next? !! Are we parting again or dreaming between the two "houses"? One day here, one there, a few hours there, a few here ... It's no business. I don't want to share. I think I started to delve into the writing and the details - there are still plenty of them. But the main thing in my writings is that unfortunately I feel a kind of emptiness inside me and we are like some cool roommates and friends at the table in the evening, to eat, what to buy, to wash, wash ... I do not comment on sex, simply because we have never had problems - it was, is now and will be wonderful. He has been thinning since the child grew up and we started hiding like mice ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea .... Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea ....

Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ... There is no place and when - our girl wants her attention and care. Some may even accuse me of materialism. There is no way it will happen and I will not be bound, because it is not so. I have lived such a life for more than 20 years with fathers, mothers, husbands, mothers-in-law, my physical exhaustion is getting worse and I am already fed up. How do you manage such a miracle and such a mess? !! I have no idea .... Maybe not at all. That's how I'll live. Excuse me for pouring out my soul ...

Last Updated
September 07, 2020
Author:
madameleah_

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