His Parents Don't Want Me

   Another story of a young, unemployed (?), Poor (?) Future mother on this site. But anyway, the trouble has already happened and we must look positively and only forward! Specifically to the author's question - Yes, they deserve forgiveness, you will understand when you become a parent - they are trying to protect their child in this case from you! I understand that you find it unfair because you do not see yourself as a threat and have no bad intentions, but is that objectively so? Have you worked for two years and will you take maternity leave? Have you taken on responsibilities in life, have you lived outside your parents' home? Do you have a profession, education? Do you have anything to offer the boy if it's just housework? Who washes, who cooks and cleans in your house? How much money do you spend on clothes and coffee and cigarettes? For his parents you conceived on purpose to bind their son, prove them wrong and give more than you take! I believe that you have good intentions and that you will tighten up, but it is natural that the boy's parents do not think so, they are afraid. Give them time and prove yourself. You have done very well in the accommodation, now is your chance to prove yourself !!! Keep a civilized tone and don't argue with his parents if you love him, but you don't have to pretend and be hypocritical. Just politeness and that's it. If they want, let them win. Prove yourself as a housewife, make their son happy, love him, go to check-ups regularly, stop smoking and drinking (if you do) and going out to bars and discos without him, dress modestly, do not flirt with other men, forget and for those on Facebook, in short - do everything so that there are no problems in your marriage. / you are already practically married / Focus on your relationship, motherhood and be a diplomat with his parents for him. It's up to you whether you prove yourself or fail and confirm people's fears and words, if you are not what they think you are - you have nothing to fear and his parents will soon find out that you are reading and will they appreciate. However, if they are right to be afraid - woe to you and woe to you. Good luck, easy birth and good health !!!

   I agree with comment 1. I just don't understand the beginning. You have been close for only 4 months and will you already have a child? If so, I'm completely on my parents' side. It is irresponsible for people who have known each other for such a short time to think about living together, let alone children.

   Hey if you will believe me, but I've been in your situation for 2 years now. As usual, I had to meet his parents, because our relationship was already at such a stage. I didn't worry at all, because I've never had a problem with my ex-parents, I even keep in touch with some of them until now, anyway. My acquaintance with them didn't go as I expected. They didn't give me a chance at all, they were prejudiced against me, they didn't want to communicate with me. I said to myself, I'm my son's first serious friend, maybe they need time to get used to it. I tried to be attentive, smiling, but sometimes I went to them to greet them when I entered the door and accordingly I was not answered. Scandals started, they started arguing with my friend why we spend so much time together that he didn't come home, that they were jealous and I don't know what else. This repelled me and reduced my few visits to them anyway. They started throwing things like: "Is she still with you", "Oh, if only a hair falls from your head, I'll kill her!". They started doing it so that, for example, they knew that one night we were going to a ballet or a theater, and they started calling him and shouting at him, or something came up to go home. Nevertheless, I continued with my good attitude, made gifts to his mother, sent sweets, pastries, etc., when I did, and accordingly she sent. Until one evening, when we returned to them, they had guests and then once again showed their arrogant attitude towards me. I refused to step on them anymore. For 1 year they did not give me a chance to get to know me, they did not want to understand what kind of person I am, even on the street when I greeted them, they did not respond. I can not say, that I am a bad girl, given the nascent friendship between me and the parents of my ex-friends. I study an elite specialty, I am a champion in the class, I take 2 scholarships, I look quite good, because my parents are athletes and in our country sport is a very important thing, as well as healthy eating. I am very sad, on their holidays I always call, congratulations, buy something and send for my friend. They have never congratulated me on a holiday, on the contrary, they fail it. Last time I had a name day and they knew it, they didn't even congratulate me with a simple text message, they knew I had plans for the evening or rather they guessed, it's normal to want to celebrate with my boyfriend, but they did it by 11 pm. .. Similar things have happened on our holidays as a couple, many times we have made plans that fail because of them. It hurts me and I don't understand it. I have cried many times over this and my mind does not understand it. I don't want to fight, I don't want to. For me, these are simply not normal relationships. I don't think I'm a bad person, I have very good qualities, I still can't understand why they didn't give me a chance to get to know each other and why they stand between us. However, their son is very happy and they see him and see that he influences him quite well. Since he was with me, he started to get better grades in his education, graduated with honors, became more organized and disciplined. Even his clothes have changed to more mature, they see it for themselves because his mother once said "It's good that it was her that you started dressing like that." I have not neglected their son-in-law, on the contrary .. I do not want. For me, these are simply not normal relationships. I don't think I'm a bad person, I have very good qualities, I still can't understand why they didn't give me a chance to get to know each other and why they stand between us. However, their son is very happy and they see him and see that he influences him quite well. Since he was with me, he started to get better grades in his education, graduated with honors, became more organized and disciplined. Even if he changed his clothes to a more mature one, they see him for themselves because his mother once said, "It's good that it was her that you started dressing like that." I have not neglected their son-in-law, on the contrary .. I do not want. For me, these are simply not normal relationships. I don't think I'm a bad person, I have very good qualities, I still can't understand why they didn't give me a chance to get to know each other and why they stand between us. However, their son is very happy and they see him and see that he influences him quite well. Since he was with me, he started to get better grades in his education, graduated with honors, became more organized and disciplined. Even if he changed his clothes to a more mature one, they see him for themselves because his mother once said, "It's good that it was her that you started dressing like that." I have not neglected their son-in-law, on the contrary .. However, their son is very happy and they see him and see that he influences him quite well. Since he was with me, he started to get better grades in his education, graduated with honors, became more organized and disciplined. Even if he changed his clothes to a more mature one, they see him for themselves because his mother once said, "It's good that it was her that you started dressing like that." I have not neglected their son-in-law, on the contrary .. However, their son is very happy and they see him and see that he influences him quite well. Since he was with me, he started to get better grades in his education, graduated with honors, became more organized and disciplined. Even if he changed his clothes to a more mature one, they see him for themselves because his mother once said, "It's good that it was her that you started dressing like that." I have not neglected their son-in-law, on the contrary ..

   The author knows best what her intentions are. All parents are worried, so it's perfectly normal. I hope this relationship is successful.

   № 1 Is right. Words are never forgotten, but simple. Don't blame your parents-in-law for that. They are right to trust their longtime acquaintances and friends and not to trust the girl who became pregnant in just 2 months and claims to be from their son. You are depriving them of a son, at the moment he is moving out of the house after you. They are just two injured old men. If you don't let them see the child, you will only lose. I have experience in this 13 years ago I was in the same situation, only I got pregnant a year after we lived together. They doubted if the child was their son, but they didn't tell me in my eyes, they talked behind my back. It wasn't until my son was 10 that my father-in-law said in my eyes "I don't know if it's ours, but he fucks like I'm holding it" still hurt me, but I don't care if my husband is next to me.

   I can understand his parents, but I think they need to change their attitude and accept you - in the end, just spitting snakes and lizards against you will not change anything, but only bring negative emotions into their relationship. In other words, I understand them too. They invested mine to raise and educate their child to give him a better start and you get pregnant in 4 months - despite everything it is irresponsible in the 4th month as you do not know the person so well to have a child (for me a person does not know half completely until she has lived with him / her for at least a few months - strange as it may seem to you, many things change). If you had waited at least a year and they didn't like you, it would have been more understandable. I hope you really fit in and live happily, that it is easy in words and difficult in deeds. The fact that he lived 6 years alone abroad changes a person and views a lot and for me compared to him you are a child in terms of experience in life. He has lived, experienced and dealt with many things that have changed his character and I hope that in the future you will not have differences in your philosophies. Good luck in your relationship and many happy years together. Otherwise, be more humble with his parents, because in general they have the right to treat you with distrust - not that you have bad intentions or you are not a good person, but just the speed and coincidence of circumstances give this delusion. When the grandson is born, I am sure that their attention will be focused on him and they will accept you :) Anna which have changed his character and I hope in the future you will not have differences in your philosophies. Good luck in your relationship and many happy years together. Otherwise, be more humble with his parents, because on the one hand they have the right to distrust you - not that you have bad intentions or you are not a good person, but just the speed and coincidence of circumstances give this delusion. When the grandson is born, I am sure that their attention will be focused on him and they will accept you :) Anna which have changed his character and I hope in the future you will not have differences in your philosophies. Good luck in your relationship and many happy years together. Otherwise, be more humble with his parents, because on the one hand they have the right to distrust you - not that you have bad intentions or you are not a good person, but just the speed and coincidence of circumstances give this delusion. When the grandson is born, I am sure that their attention will be focused on him and they will accept you :) Anna but it is simply the speed and confluence of circumstances that give rise to this delusion. When the grandson is born, I am sure that their attention will be focused on him and they will accept you :) Anna but it is simply the speed and confluence of circumstances that give rise to this delusion. When the grandson is born, I am sure that their attention will be focused on him and they will accept you :) Anna

   If he is by your side and holds on to you, one day they will reconcile and accept you. Love each other, the parents are up to date, but it's hard to find a partner, the person to be really happy with. I am divorced and have one child. When I started my relationship with my friend, I was not accepted either. So after a year of waiting we decided and lived together in a dormitory. But he did not listen to anyone. And now we go to them together, I can even say that as they got to know me over time, they now respect me and help us in any way they can. Although the child is not even his. Do not lose hope, everything will be fine, be patient. I wish you much happiness in the future.

   (From the author) The first comment asks a few questions and I want to explain my story to understand where my pain comes from. I am a child of divorced parents and I have been working every summer since I was 16 so that I can buy the necessary things for school. I neither smoke nor drink. I was the best in the class. I had an extremely small monthly income, which I had to support for a whole month. With the scholarship for excellent success, which I received every month, I tried to buy a dress, because it was my only additional income. And because I keep my things, little by little they came together a lot and when I change them, people think that I'm constantly buying new ones. Mom is sick and I have been taking care of the whole household for years. I have always tried not to show the problems in our family. I went out for coffee with 50 cents for one tea. I buy cheap clothes and try to combine them well to look good. I have a nice body and everything is going well for me. Maybe that's why other people are left with the impression that I have everything and that I am spoiled. I'm not a flirt, I don't like stupid strippers and I've always been extreme with them. But we live in a village and because I catch the eye and there are all sorts of rumors addressed to me (mostly spread by my ex and his parents). I never imagined that I would go out without him. I was even afraid that he would go out and leave me alone at home, but when I met him, I realized that his idea of ​​an ideal family was just like mine, namely to go out together and go home together. And I have experience in childcare because I was 13 when my youngest sister was born. I literally looked at her because my mom had to go to work. That's why I'm not afraid of responsibility, because I've always been responsible. His parents don't know my story, they haven't even asked me how I lived before, they just see that I'm supported and listen to people. It hurt me that they didn't even try to get to know me, but said harsh words to me. I'm glad my friend knows everything about me and despite them he is by my side. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. because I have always been responsible. His parents don't know my story, they haven't even asked me how I lived before, they just see that I'm supported and listen to people. It hurt me that they didn't even try to get to know me, but said harsh words to me. I'm glad my friend knows everything about me and despite them he is by my side. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. because I have always been responsible. His parents don't know my story, they haven't even asked me how I lived before, they just see that I'm supported and listen to people. It hurt me that they didn't even try to get to know me, but said harsh words to me. I'm glad my friend knows everything about me and despite them he is by my side. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. but they just see that I am supported and listen to people. It hurt me that they didn't even try to get to know me, but said harsh words to me. I'm glad my friend knows everything about me and despite them he is by my side. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. but they just see that I am supported and listen to people. It hurt me that they didn't even try to get to know me, but said harsh words to me. I'm glad my friend knows everything about me and despite them he is by my side. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to remove it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion. I will receive maternity leave for only one year, but we have never relied on this money anyway, because it is pennies compared to the monthly cost of a baby. My pregnancy is not planned. We both know it's early, but I'm firmly against abortion. No one can convince me that I have to get rid of it, even if I have to watch it alone. Thank you for the advice. It is always good to listen to a completely unbiased opinion.

   Well then you have no problem. Go straight ahead and don't care at all. You can't close people's mouths, and the more you try, the more they open. Didn't your parents-in-law tell you in your eyes, that means they have a kind of respect for you. Again, I think it's stupid to hide a child from them. Judge whether the parents-in-law are to blame or those who told them these things. Put yourself in their shoes, wouldn't you ask your acquaintances from the same village about the candidate daughter-in-law, and if you ask the candidate daughter-in-law herself if she will say her bad traits (if there are any) at the very beginning. That's why they asked and were left with such an impression. You should not be angry with them for something they have not done to you, they have talked to other people, they have loaded other people's thoughts. Act like you don't know, just forget and learn to quickly forget everything bad.

   You have no idea how happy I am for you and the baby. Don't think so when you love each other, this baby is a symbol of your love, don't worry about how you will raise him. Parents will help, I'm really happy for you ... I wish you only happiness, luck, love, no problems ....! Let this baby bring you only happiness! Boy of 19!

   Author, here is my story, I hope you can learn a lesson. I got married at the age of 20. for a man I had known for a month. I met my mother-in-law days before the wedding. At first she didn't like me. Maybe she was scared. But today 12 years. he later says, “I don’t have a daughter-in-law, I have a daughter.” It’s up to you to change their opinion of you. I wish you success.