His Mother's Attitude!

   First, the topic is for the Family section - I ask the moderators to move it so that more people who are interested or can help the author can read it. Second, author, I was in the same situation with my mother-in-law - she insulted me when I went to family events, laughed at our way of life with my husband, came home uninvited every day, messed up everywhere, gave unsolicited advice, tried to set us up. against each other. We both decided it was just poisoning us and we couldn't take this situation anymore. For a start, we always locked and did not open it when she came uninvited. We only visited on holidays or on occasions such as birthdays (which I consider normal even if your parents are very cool). It got worse - intrigue, guilt and duty manipulation, accusations, malicious comments, she had set all the relatives to harass my husband for his "abnormal" lifestyle. Then we realized that the "pig does not become a swan" and she will never respect us or our borders as a normal couple, so we just cut off all contact. Now we are very happy with my husband - it turned out that she influenced him very badly, ruined his self-esteem, made him think that he can not do basic things without her, etc. Since she is gone, we pay attention we are like a couple, we have built our habits, there is peace and love in our home, we both progressed professionally and we got married. When you remove a toxic person from your life, you focus on the things that are important to you and what makes you happy. The only thing I regret is that we have endured it for so long. However, it is important that you both agree. My husband knew that his mother was a bad person and did not think long before he cut off contact with her. If yours is a mother's son, you better separate. A man who takes you as a guest, you sit at a table and he lets his mother insult you, he doesn't love you, remember him. Love is a two-way process - you don't have to put up with it because she's his mother, and he has to find a way to protect you from her because you're his wife. Let him talk to her - the well-meaning person does not realize that he hurts, will apologize and will stop. If she is evil, instead of respecting your boundaries she will try to break them with dramas and manipulations. Being his mother does not mean that he is a good person and that he adds value to his life. Too often, parents fail their children and their relationships. If you want you can read books on the subject, written by professional psychologists - Toxic Parents, Borders, Your Weaknesses. We in Bulgaria have been taught to tolerate all kinds of abuse, "because they are relatives", but this is not right. I wish you success and I am there to help if you need additional support. PS: Be prepared for comments from mom's sons and old mothers-in-law - I would just miss them - some grind what others have taught them in order to control their whole lives. A good parent wants his children to be happy, not dependent on him;).

   In principle, I am FOR defending yours, protection, etc. But the situation here is very delicate because it is with your partner's mother. Does he see all this? Did you talk to him? In my opinion, HE should tame them, because he is their son and they will trust him, not you. Think about what kind of man you are, if the answer to my two questions is YES and do nothing about it. Is he a mother's son or not? Honestly, if someone talks to me like that the first time, I won't step into their house a second time. I don't know how you could have done it. Well, you can't do it alone, because it's not your parents, it's his. You need help from him.

   It's best to talk about all this with your friend. And get out. Otherwise, the aunt is most likely one of those pretentious ladies or she is very jealous of her son from you, or both :)

   I wouldn't treat them badly if I were you, but I wouldn't visit them for the weekend. If you are not wanted, do not push there. Do it out of respect for your friend, because he probably doesn't like this situation either, and with your bad attitude you only show that they are right not to like you. You are the candidate-daughter-in-law, his sister is their daughter, things will not change, she will always be taller than you and she is not something worth bothering about. Live your life, be polite, avoid visiting them for a long time and that's it. At this stage you are not a member of this family, you are not engaged or married, your children are not their grandchildren, therefore nothing connects you very much with these people. It's good to keep up, from now on it doesn't matter what they think.

   You may not go to them, in general every mother-in-law will sometimes tease you with something, and what should your sister take for a woman when she is weaker ...? And what is the boy's opinion?

   Difficult! From now on, things are based on family property - money. Young people want you know ............ He's trying to turn you into a trained ..... silently ......... "If you want to be with my son, you know I'm the boss" .

   I had a similar situation. I was dating a boy who was absolutely a mother's son. His mother constantly insulted me and spoke against me, and he never once defended me. My advice is to talk to your friend and explain to him how much this weighs on you. Tell him that you don't like his mother insulting you and that you don't have to put up with disrespect for yourself. Also tell him that if he doesn't protect you, then you have nothing to do with him. A woman needs a man to protect her dignity. Not a pickle who is silent in front of his mother and does not dare to protect his wife. Tell him that once he has chosen to be with you, he must take responsibility for you and protect you from those who offend you. If these are his parents, he should be even more protective of you and stand up for his choice to be with you. That's what a real man does. Those who are silent in front of their mothers and listen to someone speak against their wives are not men at all, but mother's sons. If he starts to justify that he didn't want problems with theirs and the like, just tell him that a man should be able to make choices. What does he choose? To make you suffer undeserved insults, or to act masculine and protect your girlfriend from your mother? This has to do not only with your dignity, but also with his. If he is a dude, he will not be able to tolerate someone disrespecting his girlfriend and will not be afraid to defend his position in front of his parents. If he's not protecting you, he's just justifying himself, then I'm sorry for you, but he's a mother's son! If he stands next to you and shows that he cares about you, then you shouldn't care what his mother thinks if you have his support. But believe me, if he doesn't show understanding and can't protect you from his mother, then he doesn't deserve you! When a man finds a girlfriend, he must respect her as his mother. Not to let mommy humiliate you. If he comes up with the trick that "you have no right to make him choose," then you can tell him that it's not your fault, it's your mother's. She is rude to you and creates tension. If your boyfriend has masculine dignity, he will not tolerate someone to humiliate you and will not be afraid to defend his parents. And to tell you the truth, you didn't do wrong to respond. You have the right to defend yourself. When someone insults and provokes you, you have every right to retaliate. Especially when you have been patient and silent for a long time. If he comes up with the trick that "you have no right to make him choose," then you can tell him that it's not your fault, it's your mother's. She is rude to you and creates tension. If your boyfriend has masculine dignity, he will not tolerate someone to humiliate you and will not be afraid to defend his parents. And to tell you the truth, you didn't do wrong to respond. You have the right to defend yourself. When someone insults and provokes you, you have every right to retaliate. Especially when you have been patient and silent for a long time. If he comes up with the trick that "you have no right to make him choose," then you can tell him that it's not your fault, it's your mother's. She is rude to you and creates tension. If your boyfriend has masculine dignity, he will not tolerate someone to humiliate you and will not be afraid to defend his in front of his parents. And to tell you the truth, you didn't do wrong to respond. You have the right to defend yourself. When someone insults and provokes you, you have every right to retaliate. Especially when you have been patient and silent for a long time. that you replied. You have the right to defend yourself. When someone insults and provokes you, you have every right to retaliate. Especially when you have been patient and silent for a long time. that you replied. You have the right to defend yourself. When someone insults and provokes you, you have every right to retaliate. Especially when you have been patient and silent for a long time.

   Why don't you just tell her to stop talking about you like that and expect more respect for her son's choice. Why are you still silent, people, and you don't say what you want. She will justify that you have no humor and so on, but she will not repeat. If he repeats, say what you want and what you don't want every time. You make movies, her husband doesn't like you, maybe your son doesn't like you when he's silent. Come on, enough telepathies and theories, you have mouths, talk to them.

   Number 7, I stop reading to you after this sentence: "A woman needs a man to protect her dignity." As a woman, I don't need a man to protect me. I'm not sick, I'm not disabled, I can defend myself. This notion you are preaching is deeply wrong. Women, come on, a little more self-respect. Nothing prevents the author from entering into a conversation with the woman who insults her and to clarify what kind of job a man has to interfere here or anyone else? If a woman leaves herself to another to protect, protect, care for, she shows that she is incapable of doing it alone and that they can do whatever they want with her.

   He has a right not to like you. If they don't like you, there's nothing wrong with their family.

   To number 9 I smell extreme feminism! Darling, you have no idea what ideas I am "preaching." I'm not saying that a woman can't live without a man or that she has to depend on her husband. I say something completely different. I'm talking about reciprocity and support in a relationship. When you have a boyfriend, then you become two and you have to help each other. If you don't need it, then you feel good on your own. If a woman wants to "fix herself", then she should stand alone. But when you want a relationship and when you have a partner, then you need compassion and reciprocity. If your husband leaves you alone to solve your problems, then you do not need him and you are really better without him. If you are so afraid that the man will limit and command you, stay old maidens! Sorry for the rude tone, but I'm tired of feminist propaganda. To have a friend and he to support you, it doesn't make you weak. It makes you important to him, and that's a great force! I'm not saying that a woman can't do without a man. I say that when you have a partner, you have to take care of him / her as well as he / she takes care of you. Reciprocity is called that when you both help each other because you hold each other. Otherwise, what are you together for? A healthy relationship in which there is support does not make a woman weak or dependent. It makes her strong, happy and loved. If you don't need it, stay alone, it's your choice. It's not bad to protect your wife. On the contrary! This shows that you love her, that you care about her and that she is important to you. And that's good for both of you, it's not humiliating for her! It is bad if you cause her difficulties, if you hurt her or abuse her. It is bad to harass and humiliate her. This harms the woman, not the support of the man next to her. To return to the topic otherwise This, what happens between the author and the mother affects not only the two of them, but also her boyfriend. However, these are the two most important women in his life and he is involved, although not directly. That is why he must take a stand. Because this does not only apply to the author or his mother, it also affects his ability to make decisions and make choices. And also to assert his desire to be with his girlfriend. A man who guards the dignity of his wife is not a torturer, but is concerned and responsible to his wife. Tartor is the one who commands it and who limits it. To protect you is not a restriction, but a support. To number 10: Sorry for the comment, but aren't you the mother of the author's friend? : D That is why he must take a stand. Because this does not only apply to the author or his mother, it also affects his ability to make decisions and make choices. And also to assert his desire to be with his girlfriend. A man who guards the dignity of his wife is not a torturer, but is concerned and responsible to his wife. Tartor is the one who commands it and who limits it. To protect you is not a restriction, but a support. To number 10: Sorry for the comment, but aren't you the mother of the author's friend? : D That is why he must take a stand. Because this does not only apply to the author or his mother, it also affects his ability to make decisions and make choices. And also to assert his desire to be with his girlfriend. A man who guards the dignity of his wife is not a torturer, but is concerned and responsible to his wife. Tartor is the one who commands it and who limits it. To protect you is not a restriction, but a support. To number 10: Sorry for the comment, but aren't you the mother of the author's friend? : D who commands it and who limits it. To protect you is not a restriction, but a support. To number 10: Sorry for the comment, but aren't you the mother of the author's friend? : D who commands it and who limits it. To protect you is not a restriction, but a support. To number 10: Sorry for the comment, but aren't you the mother of the author's friend? : D

   Number 9, when it comes to your husband's mother, it's his job to protect you. Parents go as far as their own children allow. The mother-in-law will either be happy to hurt her or she will sacrifice him and she will seek the protection of her son. This type of women are not hyper unique - all their methods have been clear for a long time. Number 10, of course, he has the right not to like her, but the girl also has the right not to visit her. You want, old mothers-in-law, to decide who will be part of "your family" only after the sons turn 18 it consists only of you and your husband and no one asks you. My mother-in-law also "didn't let her son get married" and in the end she just didn't attend our wedding :).